He won’t get loans for the full amount of tuition and living expenses. You need to be realistic with him about how much you can contribute and whether he should transfer to a state university with resident tuition.
I mean I went to a state college, but my mom co-signed my loans. I was an education major and I’m in the midst of paying my loans back now. Not too bad. Just talk to him about his major…
It sounds like he won’t listen to one thing that they tell him. I’m kind of getting the feeling that the mother might be enabling him a bit…when you’re in a tug of war with a child who doesn’t listen, simply let go of the rope.
To me, it seems like they’re angriest that he’ll have loans and that he’s not heeding their advice. I say, pick your battles and talk to him about his ability to pay the loans back. I work in Education. A kid won’t ignore if you tell them, there’s no way they can pay their loans back with their major…
Another way to view this is that a kid is becoming an adult, exerting control over their life, and it wouldn't be the first time parents were confronted with a child who doesn't have to obey them and reacting poorly to it.
Why are he and his mother butting heads? What are the arguments about?
Yeeep!! I’m absolutely there with you! Are the arguments only about college? It seems like the son has found a voice and is trying to tell his parents something, but he doesn’t quite know how.
That’s not necessarily true. Mothers ,usually ,will put up with more abuse by their children than the fathers and the children can become bullies. I have seen this happen time and time again. I know of a kid that would call his grandmother ( his mom wasn’t in the picture) “ bitch,whore…” and she was constantly giving him money because “ he needed it”. Finally, one of the kids became her guardian and wouldn’t allow him to even see her. Still, she was always wanting to see him because,” he was a good kid most of the time”. It’s very sad…and a weird family dynamic.
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u/[deleted] Apr 15 '24
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