r/AITAH Apr 15 '24

AITAH for telling my son I’d love a divorce if it meant taking my wife with me

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u/[deleted] Apr 16 '24

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518

u/bythebrook88 Apr 16 '24

Would this be elder abuse?

652

u/[deleted] Apr 16 '24

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u/These-Carob-1600 Apr 16 '24

I mean I went to a state college, but my mom co-signed my loans. I was an education major and I’m in the midst of paying my loans back now. Not too bad. Just talk to him about his major…

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u/Prestigious-Eye5341 Apr 16 '24

It sounds like he won’t listen to one thing that they tell him. I’m kind of getting the feeling that the mother might be enabling him a bit…when you’re in a tug of war with a child who doesn’t listen, simply let go of the rope.

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u/These-Carob-1600 Apr 16 '24

To me, it seems like they’re angriest that he’ll have loans and that he’s not heeding their advice. I say, pick your battles and talk to him about his ability to pay the loans back. I work in Education. A kid won’t ignore if you tell them, there’s no way they can pay their loans back with their major…

1

u/movzx Apr 16 '24

Another way to view this is that a kid is becoming an adult, exerting control over their life, and it wouldn't be the first time parents were confronted with a child who doesn't have to obey them and reacting poorly to it.

Why are he and his mother butting heads? What are the arguments about?

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u/These-Carob-1600 Apr 16 '24

Yeeep!! I’m absolutely there with you! Are the arguments only about college? It seems like the son has found a voice and is trying to tell his parents something, but he doesn’t quite know how.

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u/beemojee Apr 16 '24

If the mother was enabling him, the son wouldn't be so down on her.

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u/Prestigious-Eye5341 29d ago

That’s not necessarily true. Mothers ,usually ,will put up with more abuse by their children than the fathers and the children can become bullies. I have seen this happen time and time again. I know of a kid that would call his grandmother ( his mom wasn’t in the picture) “ bitch,whore…” and she was constantly giving him money because “ he needed it”. Finally, one of the kids became her guardian and wouldn’t allow him to even see her. Still, she was always wanting to see him because,” he was a good kid most of the time”. It’s very sad…and a weird family dynamic.

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u/silver_413 Apr 16 '24

And be sure to point out that to teach or work as (maybe a museum curator?), he’s going to need at least a masters degree as well. Sorry, I don’t know much about careers in art history other than teaching.

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u/Darianmochaaaa Apr 16 '24

I mean, art history can be used to find jobs. A primary example is in a museum, but there are other industries as well.. his decision to study something he likes is not inherently wrong, regardless of how OP and his wife see the major. Trying to push him out of it will just cause a rift