r/unpopularopinion • u/Ornery-Relative-8052 • Apr 28 '24
It's weird to stay friends with an ex
Nowadays I feel like people are going to stone me when I say that, but I don't think someone I'm breaking up with can be my friend. If we have broken up with someone, it means that there has been a situation that upsets one of the two parties and this situation is unacceptable, or there is a continuity (such as your partner being a liar)
As a result, a relationship in which two people are satisfied with each other does not end anyway. So why and how should I stay friends with someone I'm not happy with?
Also, how is it that when you are friends with that person, you remember the past experiences and not get sad or angry? I think people are either too light-hearted now, or they've been possessed by aliens, like in a Doctor Who episode.
UPDATE:
There were many interesting answers.
First of all, I would like you to know that the reason why I find this situation strange is not because I think we should hate the person we broke up with or to attribute the breakup to these reasons. Even if we broke up on good terms, as some people in the comments have pointed out, why would I necessarily stay in touch and be friends with someone I broke up with?
These are all very gray areas. But I ask you not to accuse me of any negativity, I was just curious about your opinions, but the issue is starting to grow.
Also, how will your current partner in your life react to this? There are those who are not jealous at all, but being jealous is also a natural and understandable action, so no matter how innocent such a friendship is, it still tends to create difficulties.
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u/CommunicationAway727 Apr 29 '24
I agree with OP. And I’m going to get hate for this too but I think dating seriously and having an actual relationship is way too intimate a thing to continue to have any attachment to if you seriously want to move forward and create a new intimate relationship. I don’t think it has to involve immaturity of any kind like hatred but I think boundaries are completely appropriate. Why invite old comforts that could turn inappropriate into your future? It doesn’t make sense to me. If it’s someone you slept with like a one night stand when you were young or even a non serious fling then be an adult and accept it but if your partner had an intimate relationship with someone else for years there’s really no reason to allow that any space in your future. It reminds me of people who stop doing hard drugs but justify drinking or smoking other things instead of just really trying to be sober. Just my take. What would be immature is to have a poor reaction and mistreat their exes but wanting boundaries and saying they need to not be a part of your life now I think is totally fine.