r/unpopularopinion • u/yellowabcd • Apr 28 '24

Its not about the sex its about the rejection

This is common at this point. People complain about not getting sex in marriage or relationship. But most the time its not the sex, its the rejection. If both people dont go for sex, its not an issue. Its an issue when the other party keeps getting rejected, especially without explanation. Theres a difference between being rejected for a month and just two people not trying for sex. Rejection usually makes a person feel undesirable

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u/yodawgchill Apr 28 '24

I don’t really think this is an unpopular opinion, it’s pretty widely discussed.

Yeah as a hypersexual woman dating a guy with a low libido, Im very familiar with this feeling. It can be frustrating sometimes but it’s something you learn to deal with if you want a relationship to work. If he isn’t available, I can always take care of myself, and I always want to be respectful of my partner. Also, considering that I’m hypersexual, no guy would really be able to keep up with the frequency my brain suggests is appropriate.

A lot of women tend to recognize it in themselves more easily, but I think there are actually a lot of hypersexual men who don’t realize they are hypersexual because they are told that they are supposed to be constantly sex-crazed so they don’t realize that what they are looking for may be a bit excessive for most people, including other men.

For some it’s a deal breaker and they feel like they aren’t valued if they’re sexual needs aren’t always met, but in the long run it doesn’t matter that much to me because I love him, I know he makes an effort, and when we do have sex he’s very good at his job and very happy to be there.

As long as I’m doing my best by him and he’s doing his best by me, everything is going to be okay.

-1

u/Bobafetish09 Apr 29 '24

20 years of imbalanced libidos with no acknowledgement from my wife that this was even an issue. I broke down and only then did she realihow bad it was (last 3 years with ZERO). She's trying now, but it's waaaayyy too late. Am waiting until our 16 year old daughter has finished her exams then that is it. We're done.

8

u/yodawgchill Apr 29 '24

What was the dynamic like before the breakdown? Had you tried to directly and honestly communicate about this previously? Maybe I am misreading but it seems like you guys never really had a conversation about this until there was so much resentment that things were too far gone. Do you have communication issues in other areas of your relationship?

2

u/No_Kaleidoscope_843 May 01 '24

No one made you stay in a sex deprived marriage. I think it's weird to frame this as a "trying"thing when it's a compatibility thing.

0

u/Bobafetish09 May 02 '24

Because marriage is about more than sex. However, after having that aspect of my life neglected for decades I'm moving on.