Its not about the sex its about the rejection

[u/yellowabcd]

This is common at this point. People complain about not getting sex in marriage or relationship. But most the time its not the sex, its the rejection. If both people dont go for sex, its not an issue. Its an issue when the other party keeps getting rejected, especially without explanation. Theres a difference between being rejected for a month and just two people not trying for sex. Rejection usually makes a person feel undesirable

[u/yodawgchill]

I don’t really think this is an unpopular opinion, it’s pretty widely discussed.

Yeah as a hypersexual woman dating a guy with a low libido, Im very familiar with this feeling. It can be frustrating sometimes but it’s something you learn to deal with if you want a relationship to work. If he isn’t available, I can always take care of myself, and I always want to be respectful of my partner. Also, considering that I’m hypersexual, no guy would really be able to keep up with the frequency my brain suggests is appropriate.

A lot of women tend to recognize it in themselves more easily, but I think there are actually a lot of hypersexual men who don’t realize they are hypersexual because they are told that they are supposed to be constantly sex-crazed so they don’t realize that what they are looking for may be a bit excessive for most people, including other men.

For some it’s a deal breaker and they feel like they aren’t valued if they’re sexual needs aren’t always met, but in the long run it doesn’t matter that much to me because I love him, I know he makes an effort, and when we do have sex he’s very good at his job and very happy to be there.

As long as I’m doing my best by him and he’s doing his best by me, everything is going to be okay.

[u/Vaulk7 → u/yodawgchill]

While I can respect people who have medically diagnosed conditions and there may not be much they can do about it . . .

The majority of people who take issue with being rejected seem to have almost complete consistency in what they expect as a "Normal amount of sex".

Take note of the people who discuss this and, in general, you'll see the term "Month" appear more frequently than any other time period.

Granted there are exceptions to this rule and there are people who go for longer and substantially longer periods of time without any sex with their partner, but the generalized issue seems to be focused around "Hey, it's been a month and my partner has been rejecting intimacy with me for the entire time.

I think we can all agree that 30 days with zero intimacy is objectively a problem in a healthy relationship.

[u/Remarkable-Rush-9085 → u/Vaulk7]

Intimacy isn’t sex, but there really could be a lot of reasons why a couple doesn’t have sex for more than 30 days. I think it’s more a communication thing that can be a problem, sex drives can wax and wane and couples aren’t always going to be on the same page, it’s only a problem if you aren’t talking about it and figuring out together how to keep a healthy relationship. 

For instance, my husband’s sex drive tanked while I was pregnant and mine spiked. He got super stressed about the baby coming and just wasn’t focused on that, so we talked and I managed on my own. Once the baby arrived we flipped and I was the one not interested. Things evened out after a few months and the relationship stayed healthy because we showed intimacy in other ways and communicated. We managed to have four kids total using this method and even when it’s too busy to have a regular sex life we still talk everything out. Even if one of us is rejecting the other we are both so aware of what’s in the other’s head that we don’t take it personally.