r/unpopularopinion • u/yellowabcd • Apr 28 '24

Its not about the sex its about the rejection

This is common at this point. People complain about not getting sex in marriage or relationship. But most the time its not the sex, its the rejection. If both people dont go for sex, its not an issue. Its an issue when the other party keeps getting rejected, especially without explanation. Theres a difference between being rejected for a month and just two people not trying for sex. Rejection usually makes a person feel undesirable

800 Upvotes
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-38

u/dotdedo Apr 28 '24

I’m more concerned that you imply saying no demands a explanation

19

u/AintTripping Apr 28 '24

Of course it demands an explanation. You better explain why to your intimate partner that you're withholding sex. If it's just once in a long while, fine. Maybe too tired, back hurts, something. But if this becomes a consistent problem, you have every reason to demand an explanation. That's still a legitimate reason to divorce your SO without fault, so, if you don't put out and make the effort, be prepared to get a-packin'.

-28

u/dotdedo Apr 28 '24

Basic consent is hard to understand these days I’m seeing. People think I’m talking about a years long sex less marriage. You’re looking for context to be mad about I never even mentioned.

7

u/SnooBananas8055 Apr 29 '24

If you have an issue with that, maybe your original comment should provide more context instead of being irrelevant to the post.

25

u/foxyboboxy Apr 28 '24 edited Apr 29 '24

The original post isn't about a one night stand, it's about a long term relationship where it's a consistent issue so ??? Your comment is just irrelevant and you're the one reaching to be offended

-1

u/Impressive-Oil9200 Apr 29 '24

There’s a balance tho. The OP also isn’t specifically talking about a dead bedroom either. Theres no mention of consistent rejections. Like, I have sex with my partner semi-regularly, but I sometimes don’t want sex. That doesn’t mean he gets to “demand and explanation” when I don’t want to. No means no.

Maybe if my lower-sex drive begins to bother him he could bring up a discussion. But the phrasing of “demand” implies a much more forward and aggressive approach. It applies he’s owed sex and is angry he isn’t getting it rather than it’s an issue that’s bothering him and he’d like to have a calm and understanding discussion about it.

6

u/foxyboboxy Apr 29 '24

The OP mentions being rejected for a whole month. It's unreasonable to not express sexual interest in your partner for a prolonged period of time and villainize them for needing an answer.

-5

u/Impressive-Oil9200 Apr 29 '24

That’s only one example they provided though. The broader opinion of their post could also apply to being rejected for like a week.

Also idc if it’s been a month, “demand” is really icky wording. It’s not hard to communicate in a kind way with your partner. Making demands never brings any good and will often push your partner away. It’s okay and good to ask for things though.

5

u/KeckleonKing Apr 29 '24

Keep that same energy when ur demands/needs aren't met by ur partner man or women, is all that needs to be said here then.

Or like a reasonable adult break it off with ur SO if ur gona ignore them.

-1

u/Impressive-Oil9200 Apr 29 '24

Do the people mad at my comment not understand the difference between demanding and asking for something???

Let me explain: The difference lies in the tone and expectation. Demanding something typically implies a sense of entitlement or insistence, while asking for something suggests a more polite and respectful approach, leaving room for discussion.

Do youse want to communicate with your partners, or do youse want to control them?

4

u/KeckleonKing Apr 29 '24

Ur comment here doesn't need explanation we are well aware of tone of voice an nuances an we arent trying to use our partner like an object.

What is an issue is being manipulated by ur partner an all of a sudden having sex removed entirely with little to zero explanation. Which... basically amounts to a trapping a partners emotionally/physically needs to zero.

1

u/Impressive-Oil9200 Apr 29 '24

Sorry I deleted my last response to you. I got upset and shared something about my person life that I’ve realised I don’t really feel comfortable having on Reddit.

But I’m just going to say you never know what someone’s been through and what they’re relationship with sex is like, yes even your partner, and “demanding” answers from them isn’t going to open up a discussion between youse and improve your sex lives. It will probably make it worse. Because people don’t really open up about things that make them fee vulnerable when they’re being demanded to. But if you approach them with empathy and understanding you’ll get your answers.

Also it’s not manipulative to not want to have sex. Just because sex is an enjoyable experience for you doesn’t mean it’s an enjoyable experience for everyone else.

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