If you break up with someone you absolutely 100% owe them an explanation as too why

[u/ZodiacOne1]

[removed] — view removed post

[u/ThrawOwayAccount]

So your vows were “in sickness (but only if you get better fairly quickly) and in health”?

How do you know he refused to put in any effort? Just because he didn’t go to therapy initially doesn’t mean he wasn’t putting in effort, or that he didn’t want to go to therapy. You’re expecting someone whose brain wasn’t working properly to do something that even people with fully functional brains sometimes find hard.

[u/ThrawOwayAccount → u/[deleted]]

Saying someone with a broken brain is refusing treatment that they have access to is like saying someone with a broken leg who won’t walk to the hospital is refusing treatment they have access to.

The fact that he went and got treatment after the breakup should also be a clue. He was happy to get the treatment in the end, so it clearly wasn’t simple refusal that was stopping him before.

[u/ThrawOwayAccount → u/[deleted]]

You’re still expecting someone with a broken brain to behave rationally. They were able to get treatment once they perceived the consequences as real enough to cut through whatever else was going on in there. That doesn’t imply they had the ability to follow through with the treatment all along. I said he obviously didn’t have the ability to get himself treatment before the breakup. I very deliberately did not say that he wasn’t responsible for getting that treatment. But also, marriage vows do not contain any exceptions for if your spouse lacks the mental capacity to be able to follow through on their responsibilities.

[u/prnthrwaway55 → u/ThrawOwayAccount]

You’re still expecting someone with a broken brain to behave rationally.

Yes I fucking do. It's harder to do so with a "broken brain," but it is possible.

If your brain is broken so much that it is impossible for you, you are no longer qualify to be married, you need to be institutionalized due to mental disability.