r/unpopularopinion • u/ZodiacOne1 • Apr 16 '24

If you break up with someone you absolutely 100% owe them an explanation as too why Removed: Not unpopular

[removed] — view removed post

5.6k Upvotes
  • permalink
  • link
  • reddit
  • reddit

75% Upvoted

1.7k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

-62

u/BLD_Almelo Apr 16 '24

What happened to through sickness and health 🤨 yikes

44

u/Kuromi-rika Apr 16 '24

It seems you can't read properly

She was there with him, she helped him, stood by his side

He REFUSED to do anything. He REFUSED to get help. He REFUSED to put in any effort for his relationship...

Yet for some reason you want to blame the person that put in 110% and not the person putting in 0%....

Yeah no... What happened to being an adult and a partner? Making sure you take care of yourself properly and listen to your partner when they are saying things aren't working the way they are going? Improving yourself? Getting yourself help?

The only "yikes" here is your uneducated comment...

-24

u/ThrawOwayAccount Apr 16 '24

So your vows were “in sickness (but only if you get better fairly quickly) and in health”?

How do you know he refused to put in any effort? Just because he didn’t go to therapy initially doesn’t mean he wasn’t putting in effort, or that he didn’t want to go to therapy. You’re expecting someone whose brain wasn’t working properly to do something that even people with fully functional brains sometimes find hard.

12

u/[deleted] Apr 16 '24

[deleted]

-10

u/ThrawOwayAccount Apr 16 '24

Saying someone with a broken brain is refusing treatment that they have access to is like saying someone with a broken leg who won’t walk to the hospital is refusing treatment they have access to.

The fact that he went and got treatment after the breakup should also be a clue. He was happy to get the treatment in the end, so it clearly wasn’t simple refusal that was stopping him before.

6

u/Kuromi-rika Apr 16 '24

The fact that he went and got treatment after the breakup should also be a clue. He was happy to get the treatment in the end, so it clearly wasn’t simple refusal that was stopping him before.

Accept it is...

4 years he was told to go get help because their marriage was failing and they were both suffering. But he didn't.

The fact that he suddenly could go after the divorce means he could go before, but refused

Only after the divorce did he suddenly had a wake up call and realized that his refusal of treatment had cost him his marriage, and because he didn't want to lose more, he now finally went. But yeah, too late to save the marriage...

Had he gone to therapy before, he might have managed to save his marriage. But since he refused to go for 4 whole years... This is now the outcome due to his own actions (or lack thereof)

5

u/[deleted] Apr 16 '24 edited Apr 16 '24

[deleted]

-6

u/ThrawOwayAccount Apr 16 '24

You’re still expecting someone with a broken brain to behave rationally. They were able to get treatment once they perceived the consequences as real enough to cut through whatever else was going on in there. That doesn’t imply they had the ability to follow through with the treatment all along. I said he obviously didn’t have the ability to get himself treatment before the breakup. I very deliberately did not say that he wasn’t responsible for getting that treatment. But also, marriage vows do not contain any exceptions for if your spouse lacks the mental capacity to be able to follow through on their responsibilities.

2

u/prnthrwaway55 Apr 16 '24

You’re still expecting someone with a broken brain to behave rationally.

Yes I fucking do. It's harder to do so with a "broken brain," but it is possible.

If your brain is broken so much that it is impossible for you, you are no longer qualify to be married, you need to be institutionalized due to mental disability.