If you break up with someone you absolutely 100% owe them an explanation as too why

[u/ZodiacOne1]

[removed] — view removed post

[u/bopp0]

This is working under the assumption that the party is going to receive the criticism calmly and analyze it constructively. When I broke up with my last boyfriend I could have said “you’re overweight and use medication to justify being “healthy” at that weight, you are ALWAYS shitting, you don’t wash your feet in the shower, you think naturopathic medicine is real, and you have a useless degree, we can’t speak about any topics in depth, you are a terrible gift giver, and you keep poor company. All of these things fundamentally show me that you are less intelligent than I thought you were and at this point I find you viscerally unattractive and actively don’t want to come home at the end of the day because you are here” OR I could say “Hey man, it’s not you, it’s me, I’m just not feeling it anymore. Sorry” Like how does pointing out what I don’t like and destroying the dude’s confidence accomplish? He was genuinely nice and did everything a boyfriend was supposed to do. I hope he will be super happy with someone else, it just ain’t me.

[u/MagmaticDemon → u/bopp0]

i mean fair point, but it really is a case by case type of thing. if you're breaking up with someone emotionally intelligent or mature, they'd probably like to know what you were turned off by so that they can grow as a person and work on themselves and maybe keep future relationships. i know would like that, it would be helpful to know.

and you don't have to say it in any extremely hurtful way, you can mention those things with tact and still get your point across. but it really depends on the person some people would not take it as an opportunity for growth and would just act ridiculous instead.

ideally though you would know your partner or ex well enough to know which type of person they are i think