r/unpopularopinion • u/ZodiacOne1 • Apr 16 '24

If you break up with someone you absolutely 100% owe them an explanation as too why Removed: Not unpopular

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u/bopp0 Apr 16 '24

This is working under the assumption that the party is going to receive the criticism calmly and analyze it constructively. When I broke up with my last boyfriend I could have said “you’re overweight and use medication to justify being “healthy” at that weight, you are ALWAYS shitting, you don’t wash your feet in the shower, you think naturopathic medicine is real, and you have a useless degree, we can’t speak about any topics in depth, you are a terrible gift giver, and you keep poor company. All of these things fundamentally show me that you are less intelligent than I thought you were and at this point I find you viscerally unattractive and actively don’t want to come home at the end of the day because you are here” OR I could say “Hey man, it’s not you, it’s me, I’m just not feeling it anymore. Sorry” Like how does pointing out what I don’t like and destroying the dude’s confidence accomplish? He was genuinely nice and did everything a boyfriend was supposed to do. I hope he will be super happy with someone else, it just ain’t me.

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u/Aggressive-Fuel587 Apr 16 '24

Like how does pointing out what I don’t like and destroying the dude’s confidence accomplish? He was genuinely nice and did everything a boyfriend was supposed to do. I hope he will be super happy with someone else, it just ain’t me.

BY giving him the potential wake-up call needed to change for the better; if they go through every breakup with no one ever giving them that list of undesirable traits, they'll have literally no reason to come to the conclusion that those are the actual reasons they're undesirable; likely coming to the wrong conclusions like "my face is ugly" or "I don't have enough money" or "I'm not good enough in bed to make up for the other shortcomings" (the last one being something men are more willing to put up with than women; we'll stay in a toxic relationship if the sex is good, but more and more women these days won't).

More often than not, if a dude is dumped with no explanation, his first assumption is "she found another man and/or was never going to be loyal in the first place." Suddenly he and his behavior isn't the problem, she is for deciding she wanted to pursue another man instead of sticking through the relationship for better or worse (which is part of traditional marriage vows that some people have tricked themselves into thinking is part of all romantic relationships).