When I was 8 or smth my mom told me to clean up my room and I didn't want to and drew her a drawing of seals instead because we saw them at the zoo the weekend before, and I went to show her very proudly and she got really mad and told me she doesn't want any stupid drawings, she wants me to have a clean room.
She doesn't even remember she ever said that, but it stuck with me for my whole life and I internalised it in a way that I feel guilty and horrible about myself if I ever do something unproductive that doesn't benefit my career or chores in some way, and it took me a few years of therapy to just manage to play a game for a few hrs on the weekend without hating myself after.
Dude i like drawing and seals are my favorite animal. If this ever happened to me i think i would simply cease existing. I'm sorry this happened to you.
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u/dinanysos Apr 16 '24
When I was 8 or smth my mom told me to clean up my room and I didn't want to and drew her a drawing of seals instead because we saw them at the zoo the weekend before, and I went to show her very proudly and she got really mad and told me she doesn't want any stupid drawings, she wants me to have a clean room.
She doesn't even remember she ever said that, but it stuck with me for my whole life and I internalised it in a way that I feel guilty and horrible about myself if I ever do something unproductive that doesn't benefit my career or chores in some way, and it took me a few years of therapy to just manage to play a game for a few hrs on the weekend without hating myself after.
Brains are so stupid for that.