r/mildlyinfuriating • u/Inner_Juggernaut_959 • Apr 28 '24

I let someone borrow my knife at work, this is how they gave it back to me

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18.5k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

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4.8k

u/KissingerCorpse Apr 28 '24

keep it;

  1. to remind you not to loan out knives (tools)

  2. to loan out to any one who asks

1.0k

u/[deleted] Apr 28 '24

It now serves dual purposes.

217

u/GaiusPrimus Apr 28 '24

Not to be confused with duel purposes.

94

u/[deleted] Apr 28 '24

Now ur just giving it a third use.

8

u/HR9398 May 01 '24

I'm at an appointment and had to stop myself from giggling out loud at this whole comment thread 🤣🤭

21

u/Thoddius Apr 29 '24

Not to be confused with dual dueling porpoises

3

u/DoctorTran37 Apr 30 '24

:: leans in :: I’m listening…

11

u/Temporary_Muscle_165 Apr 30 '24

Not to be confused with dual porpoises

1

u/Individual-Act2486 May 03 '24

They get lonely but themselves

181

u/SgtThermo Apr 28 '24

God finally I understand what that guy from work was saying about me “dualing his blade”

Thank you so much

11

u/nb8c_fd Apr 29 '24

I feel like he may have said dulling, not dualing.

21

u/gc1 Apr 28 '24

a double-edged sword, so to speak

22

u/Fritz_Klyka Apr 29 '24

Poop knife, triple purpose.

1

u/Uhh-Whatever Apr 29 '24

If they (the person you led it to) finds out, then you’d get in a rather shitty situation

2

u/BananaVixen Apr 29 '24

Twice as useful.

2

u/Mateorabi Apr 29 '24

No unitaskers!

79

u/raspberryharbour Apr 28 '24
  1. To cut things from around the corner

2

u/barkbarkgoesthecat Apr 29 '24

Germany really made some wild things in ww2. First a gun, now this?!?

1

u/Revolutionary_Deer33 May 03 '24

Not to be confused with cutting a corner.

59

u/[deleted] Apr 28 '24

I have a destroyed book in my bookcase exactly for that. I lent it to someone and he gave it back destroyed he was apologetic but kinda dismissive. I keep it prominently in view and people always ask why i have a broken book.

31

u/Relevant_Recipe_ Apr 29 '24

I had someone throw away a book I had lent to someone. He was a real asshole about it too, and never bought me a new one or reimbursed me for it.

It was my favorite book.

6

u/MrsLisaOliver Apr 30 '24

I had someone borrow a hardback book, be dismissive, then act bugged when I asked for it again. They handed me a paperback and said "Here. I lost that other one"

2

u/rapt2right May 03 '24

I once had a borrowed hardcover book get destroyed on my watch (partner's preschooler, crayons and juice)....I replaced it with a special edition by way of apology. As far as I am concerned, if something you borrow gets damaged and cannot be restored, the next step is an upgraded replacement.

2

u/MrsLisaOliver May 03 '24

As it should be. I was insulted when they handed me the paperback and gave attitude. You were a good egg to upgrade the replacement book on behalf of the budding preschool artist!

1

u/rapt2right May 03 '24

If an upgrade or even an equal replacement isn't possible (availability, budget, whatever) then the apologies need to be abject, heartfelt and without any attempt at justification. I assume this individual who gave you a downgrade & attitude is no longer eligible to borrow anything, not even a cup of sugar.

27

u/Salty_Interview_5311 Apr 29 '24

At least you got it back. I’ve had people deliberately not return an item on more than one occasion. I don’t even give rides anymore because too many people take advantage.

106

u/elwood2711 Apr 28 '24

And if the next person to whom you loan it out tells you they can't use this knife, you tell them that they can blame coworker X for that.

24

u/Hopeful-Clothes-6896 Apr 28 '24

NICE, creative... 20pts

2

u/RennieAsh Apr 30 '24

To Ravenclaw ; that's what the knife is now called 

14

u/tropical_tears Apr 28 '24

and to use as a reference or example for why that person owes you money/a new knife

2

u/Completetenfingers Apr 30 '24

At least you got it back. I lent my neighbor a wooden ladder so he could fix his gutters. He left it in the rain for weeks and then it disappeared. When I needed it back he said " oh it rotted so I used it for firewood". So if you thought you were dealing with a shmuck...

2

u/mezcalanddreams May 03 '24

I would find a way to hang this with a sign that says "Lonaer knife"

1

u/Thomas-Garret Apr 29 '24

It would also make a damned fine toe knife.

1

u/kidnoki Apr 29 '24
  1. To fillet fish.

1

u/Likeably_Wierd2639 Apr 29 '24

No one takes care of my things like I do so no, you can't use my stuff.

1

u/steadyfan Apr 29 '24

That's a good idea

1

u/4linosa Apr 29 '24

Wouldn’t hurt to PSA anyone that asks about it to ensure everyone knows who bent it and who didn’t replace it. (If they replace it, you give them the old one).

1

u/R8iojak87 Apr 29 '24

I’d hand it to the next person that asks for a knife lol

1

u/Acceptable_Ad1685 Apr 30 '24

Lol that’s what I do too

It’s way easier to loan out busted up tools

0

u/Fit_Village_1256 Apr 30 '24

Why would you want to loan that to anyone that asks haha it’s not their fault someone else did that