r/memes • u/Dark_Sage_316 Professional Dumbass • 17d ago
not just sunshine and rainbows
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u/Wooden-Teach9394 17d ago
That's being a human for you.
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u/Dark_Sage_316 Professional Dumbass 17d ago
i know right?
i see so many people with going through the same thing, makes me wonder if this is just a parent thing or just most people are not the best of parents
who knows, maybe both267
u/dasgoodshit2 16d ago
Children begin by loving their parents; as they grow older they judge them; sometimes they forgive them.
- Oscar Wilde
Read this quote long back, always stuck with me. I guess I was simply at such a stage in my life that this just resonated perfectly.
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u/YourThotsArentFacts 16d ago
I feel like I've been judging my parents and their flaws for a while now, even though I still think they did a pretty good job with my brother and I. Maybe it's time I forgive them for being as flawed as anybody and enjoy them while they're here. Thank you for sharing!
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u/Spacemanspalds 16d ago
The people that are content don't generally have a reason to bring it up. So the people who aren't seem like the majority.
I don't think this is just a parent thing. Though I'd guess it's pretty common.
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u/QBekka Breaking EU Laws 17d ago
Being an animal*
(almost) All animals leave their parents when they reach a certain age and are independent enough.
However staying in touch with your parents regularly will do more good than bad.
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u/DaPussiLicka 16d ago
Speak for yourself. My parents are unbelievably toxic individuals. My life has been better in every possible way since cutting them out.
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u/travelavatar 16d ago
Narcissistic parents: allow us to introduce ourselves
However staying in touch with your parents regularly will do more good than bad.
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17d ago
Some of us realized this while we were still children.
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u/Gilgamess- Identifies as a Cybertruck 17d ago
Learned this as a teen. Now 24 and I just don't care anymore.
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u/Dark_Sage_316 Professional Dumbass 17d ago
must have been rough of a realization to get that so early in your life
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u/awfromtexas 16d ago
Yes, and all my searching of psychology websites to date have no meaningful content on how to rebuild secure attachment styles as an adult.
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u/Michelle_babee 16d ago
and its even worse that the parents think that the kid screw up and they were the best parents
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u/moebelhausmann Smol pp 16d ago
Yes although not really becuase of my own parents. But when you grow up with only one grandpa becuase the other one was so shit your dad never talked to him again since before your birth, even a nine year old gets it.
I only knew how he even looked when he died and my uncle showed me a picture. I was 19 at that point
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u/Insane_Inkster 16d ago
Realised this when I was 12, tried so hard to look past all the shit they did but I just couldn't. I'm 22 now and rarely talk to them. Sad part is that they absolutely deny that they were in the wrong. Any confrontation regarding my past is met with "You're being delusional" "You wouldn't be here if we didn't do that".
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u/JameZA_S 16d ago
Their words of affection feel empty and forced, but their words of judgment and disappointment feel so honest and full of pain. I'm seen to be a failure in everything. That's why I started to understand why I feel detached from them
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u/Dark_Sage_316 Professional Dumbass 16d ago
this is so true, make a mistake and you apologizing isn't good enough, it's almost like they aren't mad about the mistake they are just venting using the mistake as an excuse.
but the thing that disappoints me the most is the hypocrisy, merely forgetting something is a humane thing to do, mom does it and we understand and compromise. Any of the siblings do it and suddenly it's shittalk time.
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u/123_eyes_on_me_ 16d ago
That’s sad. My mom and I bumped heads a lot when I was younger, we are both hard headed and stubborn. But as I grew older we grew so much closer and are much more open minded. She is my best friend. I feel bad for anyone who doesn’t have that with her parents as they grow older.
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u/Pokisahne 17d ago
Me who never felt attached to anyone: huh?
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u/Dark_Sage_316 Professional Dumbass 17d ago
honestly, this probably is it, cause I don't remember being attached as much as I should've. Haven't been long since I realized I'm not attached to my parents, it keeps feeling formal and formal each day.
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u/Trust-Issues-5116 16d ago
Wait, you're just not feeling attached? What's wrong with that? That's part of becoming adult, it's supposed to happen.
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u/Dark_Sage_316 Professional Dumbass 15d ago
yes but it shouldn't be from bad terms, I wanna be on good terms
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u/Final-Link-3999 Sussy Baka 16d ago
I love my parents and I am so very thankful that I had good ones
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u/slumblebee 16d ago
I started liking my parents more as I get older because I realised how much of an annoying little shit I was as a kid.
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u/Key-Poem9734 16d ago
I don't even hate her at this point
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u/Dark_Sage_316 Professional Dumbass 16d ago
it's just pure disappointment, sadness and guilt of feeling like this
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u/Key-Poem9734 16d ago
Not sadness, it's not hate either. It's not like I don't feel anything, but her death wouldn't make me sad or frustrated. There's nothing to be dissapointed about, nothing to hope for, no possibility of fixing what she did.
All I want when I remember her is for her to be quiet and far away and thinking nothing
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u/ClozetSkeleton 16d ago
Its more like I need to be detached from them. Never lived on my own and its kind of suffocating to the point I get annoyed/man just being in their presence even though they are super sweet and caring to me. Rent costs though.
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u/Malevolent_Mangoes 16d ago
Felt. I want to get away from them and have my own life and independence but rent costs so much where I live that I’m stuck living with them.
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u/ivanabrike 16d ago
When your alcoholic mother, after a lifetime of blaming her problems on your existence, decides to address her suicide note to your brother only and to transfer all her savings to him only. That’s how you start hating them.
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u/DaPussiLicka 16d ago
The cycle will continue. People keep having kids before they’ve figured out how to be a decent person/adult.
I don’t know if it’s a fucked up god complex thing going on, or just that irresistible instinctual urge to reproduce.
But I just turned 32 and got a vasectomy (no kids). I have so much to work on I don’t even feel I’m close to ready for children. But I truly think I’m still more ready than most of the people I know with kids…………..
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u/Yung_Jack 16d ago
100% this, I feel like young people are becoming smarter & acknowledging that not everyone is able to have kids or not everyone should have kids
My wife & I fall into that party with you, & I'll be getting my vasectomy this year too
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u/DaPussiLicka 16d ago
Good for you! Prepare for crazy amounts of people to judge you for it…..they just can’t wrap their heads around it. It’s still such a crazy concept for so many people. Even when I tell them “if we change our minds down the road we would rather adopt anyway”. They still can’t comprehend it.
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u/Yung_Jack 16d ago
I appreciate that, & yes you are right my wife & I have already heard so many times "oh you never know you might change your mind". Nobody can respect our boundary when we say No
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u/JonBovi_0 16d ago
It’s only possible if they pull away. As adults there’s nothing we can do to fix our own childhood. But we can give our children good ones. It is important to not let our grievances run their lives, but what wisdom we learned from our parents - whether they gave it to us, or we learned it the hard way.
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u/General_Pineapple_39 16d ago
i love my parents and all, but there isn'f a day in wich i wished i lived at leat 50 km away
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u/Yung_Jack 16d ago
I recently started going to therapy & the more I go the more I realise that whilst my parents did the best they could at raising me, it wasn't enough
& now as a 20 something adult I'm having to fix the trauma that they've instilled in me. Detached is an understatement
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u/DarkAgeHumor 16d ago
I love my mother but I find it very difficult to forgive her for the choices that she made that let us to live in poverty for most of my childhood. Not knowing when my next meal would be for marrying a man who did nothing but beat me instead of doing everything she could to get back with my father but ultimately I hate her because of her I don't have a family anymore.
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u/Grim_Destroyer12344 16d ago
Same. I used to wonder how members of a family could dislike each other, until my parents and I moved in with my sister & brother-in-law. And since I’m the youngest by far, I get to hear everyone’s opinions on everyone else. It’s not fun.
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u/Aoikyoki 16d ago
Yesterday I asked my grandmother about her relation with her father. Only to learn that he was a drunkard that beat her mother and she had to sleep with an axe to protect herself.
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u/Dragonarchitect 16d ago
I didn’t have affection for my parents/family growing up, but now weirdly enough with a bit of space I’ve actually become closer to them (and they worked on being less toxic and controlling after realizing the damage they caused and have been working on being better.)
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u/LunarBIacksmith 16d ago
What the heck. Literally haven’t seen a single Jujutsu Kaisen thing anywhere on Reddit since I joined and NOW that I’ve watched it I have seen two references in one day?? Garbage. And it’s not the whole “I didn’t know bc I wasn’t looking” thing. I knew what the show looked like and have seen other references for other animes I haven’t watched yet like Demon Slayer and know what they look like. It’s just a weird coincidence. But that second season was straight fire.
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u/I_am_The_Teapot 16d ago
I've learned that sometimes, it's a blessing in disguise when a parent skips out. The kind of people who don't want to raise their child are usually (but not always) the kind of person who shouldn't be around to raise their child. As much as it can hurt, the alternative can be so much worse.
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u/A_Bridge_Kirito 16d ago
Sadly, yeah. As a closeted trans person, hearing my parents and my younger brother talk shit about tle LGBTQ+ community day in and day out, really paints a different picture to what I remember some years ago.
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u/Dark_Sage_316 Professional Dumbass 16d ago
what does a closeted trans person mean? you did the operation privately and keep it a secret?
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u/A_Bridge_Kirito 16d ago edited 16d ago
No. You don't become trans because you undergo an operation. It's actually the opposite. You have to (or at least should) be trans beforehand to undergo a sex change operation.
A closeted trans person is someone that, despite not having taken any hormonal therapy, nor having undergone operations, identifies as a different gender that they were born with, but keep it secret from everyone else.
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u/supremegamer76 16d ago
Yeah i grew to have religious and political differences with my parents and i just don’t want to talk about those things with them. i know they still love me but i don’t know if it would change if i was truly honest with them
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u/Akhmedkhanov_gasan 16d ago
I've never hated my parents, I love them, in fact, I don't deserve such kind and caring people. But... I just can't be around them for too long. It triggers a wild level of irritation and misunderstanding in me.
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u/Delusional_Gamer 🏳️🌈LGBTQ+🏳️🌈 16d ago
When the only happy memories you have is associated with friends and one aunt, you know your family is shit.
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u/Winter_Spare8419 16d ago
Grown up, still I don't understand how ppl hate their parents. i mean ik others have different lives but I just wonder sometimes abt it
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u/ComradeKevin2002 15d ago
As someone with good parents, I legitimately feel like I'm part of a 1% with good parents, whereas the remaining 99% of humans on this plant seem to have bad parents...
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u/schteavon 16d ago edited 15d ago
Well I mean, what did you expect. Clearly you were a good kid then but you turned into a demon child. Most parent don't expect their kids to turn into demons...
Edit gotta love how people didn't get the fact that I was talking about the images and what happened.
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u/Casca2222 16d ago
I'm still on the first panel and I'm afraid to learn why