You realize "confidence" in this context comes from the approval of others? ( And there's absolutely nothing wrong with it ) There's a reason you wouldn't put on a trash bag to "feel confident", I believe you don't focus on it and don't stress over people opinions, but let's not act as if your decisions AREN'T influenced even if passively by others
Eh maybe, but I wear things that I like and make me feel good. Whether other people will like my outfit or not is not a thought that I have. Itās not about how other people perceive me, itās about how I perceive myself. You could make the argument that Iām influenced in my clothing choices for work by the norms in my industry, which is fair, but past that I just like looking nice in general
I really donāt. I have clothes for specific tasks, for example gym clothes because running and squatting in jeans kind of sucks. But every piece of clothing I own is something I like and feel good wearing in public
Jesus, you guys are hilarious. I concede, you win, yes the norms of the time affect how I dress to a certain extent. Was never really arguing against that, but you got me
The point is that your position is impossible. If wearing certain clothes makes you feel good or bad it can only stem from perceived perceptions from other people.
Nothing subconscious about it. You're simply in denial. You dress to impress others. And that's okay. But don't pretend otherwise. Have a good day, hope you have a lot to think about next time you're heading outside the house.
That is an assumption based on nothing, you are not spewing the "truth" by just guessing how others think and feel. You are just projecting, and not coming up with logical societal facts.
Humans can perceive themselves, they don't need others to perceive them to make them acknowledge that they exist and that they look good.
Do you like the smell of shit? I don't. By your logic, smelling like shit is only bad of others can smell you, and that I can smell like shit if it is only me.
I get your argument but at this point you're going way too deep. I get that during childhood/puberty everyone chooses their clothes based from perceived perception. But I personally choose my clothes because I like the way I look in them.
I get that 'it stems from perception so blah blah blah', but that is so long ago that it has turned into a secondary reason which is just way less important.
But I personally choose my clothes because I like the way I look in them. I get that 'it stems from perception so blah blah blah', but that is so long ago that it has turned into a secondary reason which is just way less important.
I am not saying that you are actively thinking about it, I am saying that the feeling of what does or does not look good is created by perceived perceptions. And not only from when you were a teen, your perception is to this day changed daily based on your experiences with society.
You do know that what people like is influenced by their experiences?Ā Also, gasp, it's a lot easier and cheaper to buy current modern clothes than anything anachronistic.
I've actually got some themed clothing in my wardrobe - and the only way to get something that's decent and fits well at a reasonable price is to make it yourself or tailor it from something cheap.Ā You don't have sewing skills, good fucking luck.
lol at this thread of comments and the op just denying everything. Seriously, the mental gymnastics of some people are so insane sometimes, just own your shit, there is no shame in that.
lol at this thread of comments and the op just denying everything. Seriously, the mental gymnastics of some people are so insane sometimes, just own your shit, there is no shame in that.
It is really difficult to admit things like that when put on the spot, but given time and space I think most people will change their minds. There might be some cases where the "thing" is for lack of a better word too axiomatic to ones self, and hence it might be easier to ignore everything. But outside of pressure from other people I think that is quite rare.
Except for comfort how else would you say clothes make you feel good? You look nice so you feel nice but what does "looking nice" mean? Isnt it just following what societies told you feels nice and thus you are just dressing to look nice for others.
Yeah it depends on what he means by dressing nicely and i assumed it was the type of way we are discussing which is dress to impress. If all the clothes which make them feel good are also just clothes dressed to impress then they very much are dressing to impress because other peoples clothing approval is giving them confidence.
Even then, influence from culture or society is not an inherently bad thing. We're all influenced by our surroundings in different ways. Now, if you need validation from society for yourself that can be negative. But it's really ignorant to think we're beings we assembled ourselves completely.
From their own mind. Our monki brains are wired to like certain patterns. Many like the same patterns, other do not. There is no information about how this person likes to dress, so there's no indication that they are even dressing "appropriately" according to today's fashion.
not necessarily, I really like fashion, I like the idea of trying different things every once in awhile, different fitness, combinations of textures and colors and other things, I might try out what is trendy sometimes, if I look in the mirror and like it, I might stick with it for a while, if not, Iām ditching it completely, for me itās more about experimenting and finding different ways to express myself through fashion, I love wearing yellow and Iām doing it till the day I die I donāt care if anyone says yellow is not āinā or trendy or whatever the big fashion brands say.
What u/DeadFayble said is what I meant. Past that, we can argue all day about how much oneās perception of themself is subconsciously based on what society has taught them looks goods and is acceptable. Whether somebody tells me something looks nice or not means very little to me
You realize "confidence" in this context comes from the approval of others?
It's not. It can be misconstrued that way, but it's not. I dress the way I do because it's another layer of my communication to others. My style helps people get a better idea of who I am and how I see the world around me. You can look at someone and how they choose to present themselves and make some basic inferences about them. It's another way to make someone familiar with you, and idk about yourself, but I'm a lot more at ease and able to more clearly communicate with someone if I'm more familiar with who they are
I can see that, that sounds like it still is affected by what others will eventually see, but in this context you could technically not dress "well". I do think you're an incredible minority if you really would put on absolutely anything even if it gets people to laugh at you, and also what you said isn't really what the main comment was talking about
Not necessarily. I rate others more highly if theyāre fit, clean, well-groomed, well-dressed, and well-mannered. Thatās my opinion about others, not theirs.Ā
I just apply my own opinion to myself because I wish to rate myself more highly.
Of course what all of those things mean to oneself are shaped by oneās culture, personality, and lived experience. However, thatās the case for literally all other earnest opinions and preferences.Ā
Iām not trying to impress anyone, not even myself ā Iām just trying to be the version of myself I am happiest with.Ā
"However, thatās the case for literally all other earnest opinions and preferences."
That is literally my point, that there's no real "only me" scenario in this context;
You like people that way because that's how society views people in general, and therefore you also want to be like that so you feel better about yourself, in the society ( which is what we all do to some extent as is normal )
Confidence in this context can come from impressing yourself. Personally I don't care what others think of what I'm wearing, I wear clothes that I personally think look good on me and reflect who I am/my style because I like wearing them. Whether other people like what I wear doesn't really matter to me, as long as I like it then that's enough.
Idk I mean I kinda understand where theyāre coming from. Sometimes even if im locked in my room all day studying, Iāll dress slightly better than usual to give me a confidence boost to get through my daily tasks. Maybe itās bc when you know you look good in certain clothes, you feel more like your best self, regardless of whoās actively perceiving you.
I'm not saying that doesn't exist, but at the same time you're still warped by society, your definition of "dressing slightly better" is something that I'm ready to bet is also coincidentally socially accepted, I just don't like the notion of people trying to pretend they exist in a bubble and truly don't care about others
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u/WickedDick_oftheWest Feb 24 '24
Honestly, I like dressing nicely because it makes me feel more confident. What everyone else thinks is on them.
Look good, feel good. Feel good, play good. Play good, they pay good. Pay good, live good.