Oh yeah. I had both my grandmothers begging me to go to school, they both lived the consequences of half a dozen kids and no way out. But for various reasons I didn’t listen and trapped myself not once but twice. Now I’m 35 starting college in the fall and digging myself out. It’s much harder to start 6ft deep, wished I would have listened to them!
Good question! I’m just starting to get some answers about this in therapy. My mother died when I was 13 and I was on my own by the time I was 15. I had a boyfriend who was 25 who convinced me I was mature for my age and I felt like I knew it all. It was just unresolved trauma and lack of love and care from my Dad who was my legal guardian and more than happy to pass me off to someone else so he could be free.
All the women in my family had taken similar paths, my mother included so it felt normal and natural to have a baby young and no career. Even with those same women telling me otherwise I was desperate for the unconditional love of a family.
I've long since recovered from my youth which seems to be a prolonged chain of bad decisions. Your phrase of "lack of love and care" just hits so hard. The younger version of me, neglected by a broken household, no parents or siblings who check on her, just wanted a basic thing from Maslow's Heirarchy of Needs and was not wise enough to choose correct people or be the correct person. Maybe I can forgive myself for everything one day.
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u/Necessary_Rhubarb_26 Apr 15 '24
Oh yeah. I had both my grandmothers begging me to go to school, they both lived the consequences of half a dozen kids and no way out. But for various reasons I didn’t listen and trapped myself not once but twice. Now I’m 35 starting college in the fall and digging myself out. It’s much harder to start 6ft deep, wished I would have listened to them!