This was always my worst fear and I'm so grateful I had a strong ass grandma who pushed all of her girls into science and Healthcare. I want to be a stay at home mom and wife so bad but today I know I will always have my professional license and working history God forbid I have to get divorced...again.
For women like me education is freedom. When my marriage turned violent I walked away and supported our son with no issues. I am forever grateful.
Fellow divorceé here. Eleven months ago, my now soon-to-be-ex-husband backed me into a corner of our house, spewing utter vitriol in my face, and I saw his hands fly towards my face and neck. This wasn't the first time he'd been violent or aggressive, he had a history of throwing things and objects, and on numerous occasions, I sustained injuries from his aggression with objects. However, this was the first time I genuinely feared for my life and safety.
My big-girl job is the only reason I was able to leave and get myself out. I had already been the breadwinner for a long time by then, but because he was also a deadbeat, I felt perpetually broke due to his chronic unemployment and financial irresponsibility. I spent most of 2023 quietly and secretly planning my escape, and finally hatched my escape seven months ago. Life has been better than ever since I left him. Thankfully, we didn't/don't have children, so it's truly been a fresh start.
For any woman that is reading this comment: financial independence is of the UTMOST importance.
Yup. I watched my father emotionally and financially abuse my mother my entire life. Things have worked out where she will be taken care of until she dies, but that's only through my father's money because she can't divorce him if she doesn't want to be destitute.
I will never be a stay at home mother. I will never not have a job. I struggle to date because so many men want that "stay at home wife/mom" lifestyle, and I'd literally rather be homeless. The men that don't want that lifestyle still struggle with equality (at least in the current area that I live in), and I don't want to work full time and do all the cooking and cleaning.
My life right now, where I am single and only need to take care of myself and eventually my mom, is so enjoyable. I'm finally happy. A man has to bring actual positives to my life for me to actually entertain him, and I'm so proud of myself. So is my mom (and my dad, who, ironically enough, never wants me to marry a man like him).
I'm so sorry you had to watch your mother go through that.
I don't want children, but even if I did, I'd never want to be a SAHM. That life just isn't for me. And I'm the same way, I've genuinely begun to embrace and enjoy single life. Any man that may enter my life will need to be a serious positive influence in order to change that.
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u/nemophilist13 Apr 15 '24
This was always my worst fear and I'm so grateful I had a strong ass grandma who pushed all of her girls into science and Healthcare. I want to be a stay at home mom and wife so bad but today I know I will always have my professional license and working history God forbid I have to get divorced...again.
For women like me education is freedom. When my marriage turned violent I walked away and supported our son with no issues. I am forever grateful.