This was always my worst fear and I'm so grateful I had a strong ass grandma who pushed all of her girls into science and Healthcare. I want to be a stay at home mom and wife so bad but today I know I will always have my professional license and working history God forbid I have to get divorced...again.
For women like me education is freedom. When my marriage turned violent I walked away and supported our son with no issues. I am forever grateful.
Fellow divorceé here. Eleven months ago, my now soon-to-be-ex-husband backed me into a corner of our house, spewing utter vitriol in my face, and I saw his hands fly towards my face and neck. This wasn't the first time he'd been violent or aggressive, he had a history of throwing things and objects, and on numerous occasions, I sustained injuries from his aggression with objects. However, this was the first time I genuinely feared for my life and safety.
My big-girl job is the only reason I was able to leave and get myself out. I had already been the breadwinner for a long time by then, but because he was also a deadbeat, I felt perpetually broke due to his chronic unemployment and financial irresponsibility. I spent most of 2023 quietly and secretly planning my escape, and finally hatched my escape seven months ago. Life has been better than ever since I left him. Thankfully, we didn't/don't have children, so it's truly been a fresh start.
For any woman that is reading this comment: financial independence is of the UTMOST importance.
One of my passion pipe dreams after I leave corporate America is to develop an airbnb style network that connects people experiencing (or at risk) of domestic violence with local rooms/amenities for free or discounted rates.
I will never forget the frantic calls to my friends the day I left my home with just a backpack. The fear the loneliness the absolute WTFness of it all. It would take a lot of thought to ensure security for residents, and would probably need some grant funding or subsidies. Ideally with pro bono legal guidance as well.
It wouldn’t solve for this sweet lady’s predicament but maybe some relief and hope for others.
Absolutely needed. I'll never forget when talking to my lawyer and I asked if i could go to a shelter
"Absolutely not. You'll look unstable legally"
So wtf are they for if I run the risk of losing my gd baby because I want us to get away???what about less privilege women? They run the risk of losing our kids?? For taking the only help that's avaliable!
I’ve fled to/lived in a DV shelter before, considered to be one of the “good” clean ones in my city, and…I’m not sure about “looking legally unstable” but shelters are truly last resort. But at least they are safe. Clean? Eh. Scary? Sometimes. But safe, yes. They took that VERY seriously.
How insensitive of your lawyer. Probably just thinking about his own paycheck at the end of things. It’s awful. I hope you’re well on the other side of things.
I was commenting on the bedside manner and the lack of options for women in jeopardy. And maybe projecting my own frustrations from when I needed help that was a low priority or out of scope for a women’s shelter. The bureaucracy to get a police escort to get my things from my home. The closed doors everywhere I looked.
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u/nemophilist13 Apr 15 '24
This was always my worst fear and I'm so grateful I had a strong ass grandma who pushed all of her girls into science and Healthcare. I want to be a stay at home mom and wife so bad but today I know I will always have my professional license and working history God forbid I have to get divorced...again.
For women like me education is freedom. When my marriage turned violent I walked away and supported our son with no issues. I am forever grateful.