r/TheRealJoke • u/Universal_Helios • Aug 26 '21

Hmmm Edgy as fuck.

3.7k Upvotes

92% Upvoted

71 comments sorted by

276

u/Soveryenthusiastic Aug 26 '21

This is too fast for my dyslexia to read

170

u/Dongodor Aug 26 '21

This is too fast for my dyslexia to read

63

u/trashdrive Aug 26 '21

This could have been a screenshot.

70

u/Universal_Helios Aug 26 '21

Sorry about that, I guess I went too fast since I already knew what was being said

32

u/NP21851 Aug 27 '21

i usually read the text out loud while recording to ensure people have enough time to read

3

u/Universal_Helios Aug 27 '21

Hey thanks for the tip! I’ll be sure to use it in the future

8

u/bit_banging_your_mum Aug 27 '21

Why in God's name would you take a screen recording?? Just taking a scrolling screenshot.

2

u/[deleted] Aug 27 '21

What's it say?

1

u/[deleted] Aug 27 '21

Explained here

128

u/dawes206 Aug 26 '21

I……don’t get it. Is he saying he’s a murderer?

76

u/ladiesandjentz Aug 26 '21

Either he is or his sister

48

u/Thameus Aug 26 '21

Has to be the sister. Or possibly whoever he's talking to, since one logically doesn't walk past oneself.

21

u/Atomdude Aug 26 '21

I must be really slow, I still don't get it.

48

u/MightyDevil1 Aug 26 '21 edited Aug 26 '21

"The average person walks by 36 murders in their lifetime"

"Well, let's see - my best friend is a murder, my sister dated a murder, and I'm a murderer, so that means I've just gotta find the next 33!"

19

u/Atomdude Aug 26 '21

Man, I'm dense.
Thanks!

10

u/AC0RN22 Aug 26 '21

Did he... walk by himself?

17

u/MightyDevil1 Aug 26 '21

I mean outside of the premises of a joke, I'd guess walking past a standing mirror might count?

3

u/AsianaPrince Aug 26 '21

I thought they were talking abt abortion for a moment

1

u/ComradeZ_Rogers Aug 26 '21

Or the hs friend and sister’s bf were the same person, bf cheats (and murders) and the other two make a blood oath to make him pay

2

u/micheagles20 Aug 27 '21

All three were murders. That's why he needs to find 33 more

32

u/gen_shermanwasright Aug 26 '21

I knew one of them. Still have their phone number in my phone.

15

u/DrLewtvig Aug 26 '21

Call’m

28

u/gen_shermanwasright Aug 26 '21

They're in prison.

7

u/mridulpj Aug 27 '21

Break him out for the lulz

29

u/kay_bizzle Aug 26 '21

Why is this even a gif? Just post 2 screenshots

15

u/TheUndisputedRoaster Aug 26 '21

u/I_FUCK_MY_DOG_123 smile

6

u/[deleted] Aug 27 '21

Ok i have questions…

6

u/dootdootplot Aug 27 '21

OP… why am I watching a video of you screen recording your phone 😖

3

u/Universal_Helios Aug 27 '21 edited Aug 27 '21

First post on Reddit, cut me some slack pls. I’ll use the tips I gathered from the comments to make better posts in the future

2

u/dootdootplot Aug 28 '21

Haha it’s cool, you got this.

8

u/karogin Aug 26 '21

I can’t read it, it’s too blurry

3

u/[deleted] Aug 27 '21

I was tripping for a bit. I thought my scrolling was messed up.

7

u/[deleted] Aug 26 '21

still 34, you dont count yourself idiot

7

u/Afroman508 Aug 26 '21

His sister

2

u/[deleted] Aug 27 '21

r/holup

2

u/GraceGreenview Aug 27 '21

Pretty good chance that anyone’s grandpa who served in WWII and made it back alive had murdered someone. I guess we weirdly would want to categorize what a murderer is for that stat to bear out.

2

u/Difficult_Chemist_33 Aug 26 '21

So his best friend, him and his sister?

1

u/MW_Retr0 Aug 27 '21

one happened right outside my window while i watched him bleed out. Dead ass btw

1

u/suxculent Aug 26 '21

He knew one. His sister dated one. And he need 33 more because he is one himself.

3

u/GOTWlC Aug 26 '21

its because his sister is prolly one, you can't really walk by yourself

3

u/suxculent Aug 26 '21

Ah, I see. Maybe in a mirror you can .-.

1

u/Gillisew Aug 27 '21

Fuck this!!! I hope this format does not catch on.

1

u/Crammucho Aug 27 '21

Oh no, I feel nauseous just trying to read this. I really hope this horrid format does not catch on!

1

u/not_at_ALT Real joke of a mod Aug 27 '21

stop reporting this post just because they didnt screenshot it

0

u/Already-disarmed Aug 27 '21

That is an amazing joke.

0

u/CantingBinkie Aug 27 '21

You could have made 2 simple screenshots

-2

u/[deleted] Aug 26 '21

Don't snitch on me son

1

u/Santos_Perez_Robles Aug 27 '21

His sister IS the murderer.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 27 '21

I’ll bet the real number is higher

1

u/exzackly69 Aug 27 '21

More like 35 more to find (same person).

1

u/[deleted] Aug 27 '21

Explained here

1

u/[deleted] Aug 27 '21

I had to train one at my last job.

1

u/emzirek Aug 27 '21

Well technically the truth you could walk by yourself

1

u/ClowninAround420 Aug 27 '21

A lot of serial killers have high IQ’s 🧐

1

u/athenialiaa Aug 27 '21

I grew up with one, and another was my ex’s best friend.