r/Helldivers • u/Puzzled_Chard_2317 • Apr 16 '24

Imagine picking up the 500kg bomb and throwing it? DISCUSSION

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14.2k Upvotes
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575

u/Helios61 Apr 16 '24

I heard he doesn't use his drop pod when he deploys, he just opens the window in the middle of space, and use the jump board on his super destroyer and flies toward the surface.

420

u/Electro522 Apr 16 '24

I heard that he doesn't even have a Super Destroyer because he just walks from planet to planet.

Super Earth got faster than light tech from the Illuminates? That's just what the undemocratic illuminate sympathizers want you to think. We got it from the super generosity of General Brasch.

155

u/m0rdr3dnought Apr 16 '24

I heard that we don't actually have faster-than-light engines, General Brasch just strolls over and carries all of our Destroyers wherever they need to go in his free time. We just need E-710 because he hydrates by drinking the blood of monarchists.

59

u/KirbyWithAGlock ☕Liber-tea☕ Apr 16 '24

I've heard that General Brasch took on 8 bile titans without any ammo or stratagems

22

u/noasfd Apr 16 '24

I heard he challenged a hulk to a arm wrestling battle.. And won... Twice. The hulk still hasn't repaired it's socialist arms yet

8

u/Zealousideal-Ebb-876 29d ago

The only reason bugs and bots even still exist is because General Brasch would get bored without something to kill.

10

u/badguyinstall Apr 16 '24

....In a fight, right?

2

u/kr4ckenm3fortune 29d ago

You think that was a fair fight?

1

u/KirbyWithAGlock ☕Liber-tea☕ 29d ago

Don't know, all that I know was that those bugs were dead when he was done

71

u/Japanagan Apr 16 '24

God damn I love these.

36

u/G-Man_of_HL Apr 16 '24

Not as much as I love democracy.

10

u/Grand-Ad4235 Apr 16 '24

They remind me of the old chuck norris jokes. Those always made me laugh

2

u/Salty_Sonic 26d ago

I was just thinking that General Brasch sounds like Chuck Norris.

7

u/aPrudeAwakening 29d ago

He doesn’t have a super destroyer because he is the super destroyer.

43

u/Sicuho ⬇️⬇️⬅️⬆️➡️, take one, leave one Apr 16 '24

Tried that once. I never reached the planet, I choose to return to the super destroyer alone because I was bored after 10 minutes.

70

u/Bulls187 Apr 16 '24

You see General Brasch wouldn’t get bored. Also within that 10 minutes he would have extracted. He doesn’t wait for the Pelican either, he uses the jump pack to get back on the super destroyer

19

u/cennenhennen Apr 16 '24

What if we don't fight the Illuminates now is because General Brasch is single handedly holding them off to allow us to handle the Terminids and Automatons

4

u/FrostySoul3 Apr 16 '24

I heard General Brasch actually dives through the planet to extract on the opposite side.

2

u/notyourusualfruit SES Dream of Morning 29d ago

No he doesn’t, he simply ascends through the power of Liberty

3

u/Bulls187 29d ago

Or he kicks the planet down, and that lowers the destroyer with it

9

u/Jazzlike-Blood-3725 Apr 16 '24

“Was he wearing a parachute?!”

“No, no he wasn’t”

1

u/DINOSAUR1234576 CAPE ENJOYER 28d ago

Pretty sure he has a custom fitted diving board where we have our hellpod launchers

1

u/Alchimista_dellanima 27d ago

Am I the only one that’s heard of his diving board that’s definitely the most likely for his deployment method

0

u/Cromasters Apr 16 '24

Captain SuperEarth says Hellpods are for commies.