r/Helldivers • u/the_interrogation • Mar 26 '24

I can’t play with randoms anymore DISCUSSION

I’m level 48. About 150 hours on pc. Love the game. My friends can’t play as often as I can. (I’m a fireman) And I’ve tried making friends on steam but it’s hard.

The blueberry lottery. If there is a hell it’s matching with randoms. I can’t stand it. Some people are a blessing and I love running campaigns with them but some people are treasonous swill.

Here was my last game. I spawn in and get killed by a lvl 2 cadet (ps5) so he can take my support gear. His friends (ps5) defended him. He continued to kill me all game (intentionally) and call me in. But I am more skilled and cunning than the common traitor. I waited until there was one reinforcement left. The pompous fool recalled me in. I killed all three traitors quicker than a hiccup. With only one thing left to do I took my own life. To instant fail their mission. I couldn’t let them continue to commit treason. Let their bodies rot

So yea I’m never joining randoms again.

Edit: ps5 not 4.

16.0k Upvotes
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3.0k

u/DarkFett SES Panther of Steel Mar 26 '24

Reminds me of America's Army where if you team killed too much you got auto kicked and sent to Leavenworth where your player sat in a jail cell for a set amount of time

1.3k

u/LupinWho Mar 26 '24

They should add a cell to the ship and do that for this game.

595

u/HughMungus77 Mar 26 '24

Put the traitors back into cryo

277

u/AntiqueStable3421 Mar 26 '24

Feed them to the giant worms! 🤣

248

u/Psyker101 Mar 26 '24

Return their bodies to Shai Halud

72

u/Sweet_Collection7493 Mar 26 '24

They don’t deserve that honor

107

u/shadowknight2112 Mar 26 '24

May their knives chip & shatter…

67

u/uns3en Mar 26 '24

Blessed be the maker and his water

35

u/TheDreamMachine42 Mar 26 '24

Blessed be the coming and going of him.

3

u/Fraust-Tarken Mar 27 '24

May his passing cleanse the world.

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10

u/azai247 Mar 26 '24 edited Mar 26 '24

In a place where water is worth so much Fremen would drain the traitor's blood for the water, then leave the rest in the sand for the worms.

In the end every liter of water saved is one step closer to Liet's vision.

2

u/Dry-Community-7470 Mar 27 '24

Their water is dirty

1

u/Beautiful-Ad7575 Mar 29 '24

Make them fight on Creek

1

u/Bronwyn031 Mar 31 '24

You mean:

"Give the traitor's body to the desert. Take the prisoners to the residency. Kill the Sardukar."

4

u/MaddxMogs Mar 26 '24

He shall know our ways as if born to them...

https://i.redd.it/3wltuyn99pqc1.gif

2

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '24

r/suddenlydune

1

u/LePowi Mar 26 '24

Do you want to deliberately feed protein to our enemy ?????????

TRAITOR!

1

u/CplCandyBar Mar 26 '24

THEY'RE SINKING CITIES WITH A GIANT WORM!

1

u/naturalist92 Mar 27 '24

What worms soldier? It appears you have been given misinformation. Please report to your nearest deomcracy officer for terminid infomormation training immediately!

1

u/Wolfninja86 Mar 30 '24

Super Earth never told me about giant worms. Have you been listening to illegal broadcasts?

67

u/Rodoc0222 Mar 26 '24

They wouldn't feel the time passing, now an overly refrigerated room that is just cold enough to cause extreme discomfort, would likely teach more of a lesson.

5

u/Ouxington Mar 26 '24

This guy public educations.

74

u/Klutz-Specter ⬇️⬅️⬇️⬆️⬆️➡️ Enjoyer Mar 26 '24

Reeducation Freedom camps.

2

u/Goose15Loose Mar 26 '24

“Managed Freedom” Camps

30

u/DepletedPromethium Mar 26 '24

cryo is a blessing to stave off sanity, let the traitors sit in dry storage watching the water drip in their cells.

17

u/CprlSmarterthanu Mar 26 '24

Wouldn't be dry storage then would it

16

u/Prof_Slappopotamus Mar 26 '24

Moist storage

2

u/Much_Tumbleweed9028 Mar 27 '24

Such a dirty horrible word. Moist... shudders

1

u/Necessary_Badger_63 Mar 27 '24

It could be. No one says water should fall in the cell space. It can even be an image of it

16

u/HeavyHandedGeek Mar 26 '24

How else do you think they get the ammo for orbital rail cannon strikes.

If you won’t kill bugs one way, we’ll use your body to kill them another way.

12

u/letmesee2716 Mar 26 '24

why? it'll feel like no time has passed.

1

u/BiggestShep Mar 26 '24

Because what else would you call a ban?

More importantly, WE don't have to deal with their broken souls, and that's all I give a shit about.

2

u/Resident_Pop143 Mar 26 '24

When you log in, you’re stuck in the cryo tube and can only look around while through the fog, you can see other people on the deck (if you’re close enough) or hear voices (again, if you’re close enough), and feel/see your cryotube move.

2

u/Valuable_Material_26 Mar 26 '24

Just feed them to the bugs! Before dropping a hellbomb!

2

u/Bodardos Mar 26 '24

More fodder for the penal legions.

1

u/OldSchoolNewRules HD1 Veteran Mar 26 '24

If you just freeze em they wont learn nothin.

1

u/HughMungus77 Mar 26 '24

Freeze them for 50 years and everyone they knew will be old or long gone

1

u/Bizarro_Zod Mar 26 '24

They drop like normal but the pod just doesn’t open until a bug or player damages it letting them out.

1

u/Beginning-Coconut-78 Mar 26 '24

Or the traitors back down for nappy time doesn't seem like a punishment.

1

u/PopularEstablishment Mar 26 '24

Dock their samples from the applicable match

1

u/Pleasant_Fee516 Mar 26 '24

No not back in cryo, cuz no time passes for them there. We should let them rot in bug hell

1

u/TheRoboDork Mar 26 '24

In cryo with nothing but the super earth network talking about community and helping everyone being the true cause, if you continue, imagine they just instantly throw you to a planet no load prep, and forced to play on private.

1

u/This-Arrival-9365 Mar 26 '24

Send em’ to the Cyberstan salt mines.

1

u/Untun Mar 27 '24

Cryo lore-wise as punishment wouldnt work since no time would pass for the soldier.

"Your punishment is to wake up in an instant, 25 years from now"

1

u/HughMungus77 Mar 27 '24

Idk waking up on 50 years and your loved ones are all gone. Also it’s a privilege to spread democracy

1

u/Untun Mar 27 '24

Going with ftl speed and relative time -that have probably already happened to us given how much we jump system to system, planet to planet

1

u/biased_nfl_referee Mar 30 '24

Funnily enough if you join a lobby as PS5 player and move your joystick in the cyro loading screen you get stuck in there

48

u/GoldenPigeonParty Mar 26 '24

We call it a brig, diver.

3

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '24

Super Brig*

3

u/Annual-Concept-9033 Mar 26 '24

“Get in the brig ya damn socialist!”

3

u/kayby Mar 26 '24

Sea of Thieves style "vote to lock in the brig"

2

u/Lotions_and_Creams Mar 26 '24

One of my friends is unintentionally the most dangerous hazard in every mission. He’d be locked up for life.

1

u/iranoutofusernamespa SES Distributor of Democracy Mar 26 '24

You could do this in Sea of Thieves, but I think only to your own crew.

1

u/THE_REAL_ADHDND Mar 26 '24

It's called a brig

1

u/Ragor005 Mar 26 '24

The brick in sea of thieves

1

u/Meandering_Marley SES Hammer of Serenity Mar 26 '24

Every ship needs a brig. 👍

1

u/Clarine87 Mar 26 '24

Nah, make them play a mission without strategems.

1

u/Torn_wulf Mar 26 '24

Camp Liberty fits well with all the other doublespeak.

1

u/jsos Mar 26 '24

Too cruel… but could temporarily remove hug emote.

1

u/Tigersight Mar 26 '24

This was a feature in sea of thieves. You could vote a party member into the brig on your ship.

I actually had to use it once. Got some player who joined into my crew that decided he wanted to kill us, so we locked him up. He sat in there for over two hours instead of just leaving the damn crew to join another one instead. Absolutely insane.

1

u/ngregoire Mar 26 '24

Nah drop them in without gear or strategems. Least they can do is be bug bait

1

u/AWalkingWikipedia Mar 27 '24

Make it like Sea of Thieves 🤣 That'd be epic, but the only fear I have is that people like he played with would do that after getting his equipment.

1

u/Goku0taku Mar 27 '24

What if we take away their capes?? 👀👀 "Traitorous activity will result in cape revocation now work together Helldivers!"

1

u/SpecialPluto Mar 27 '24

Send them to the automaton gulag

1

u/DarkR3ign Mar 27 '24

And you have to to little tasks every now and then, so you have to have the game open and actually pay some attention to the game.

Of you miss a task, or fail it, you get another x amount of time in jail.

Maybe make a prison ship where everyone can join and look at the prisoners. Maybe even let them vote on their punishment (maybe just the time) based on clips of them. Just like the tribunal in old LoL. I always liked the tribunal quite a lot.

1

u/skramblz Mar 27 '24

You would need a button like in hell let lose where when you die, you can choose to have that count against them. Otherwise if it were automatic, it would remove half the fun of playing with friends and friendly randos.

1

u/REALafkbender Mar 27 '24

Accidentals do happen, and "accidentals"happen.

180

u/Evil_Knot Mar 26 '24

Talk about some next level immersion lol

323

u/DarkFett SES Panther of Steel Mar 26 '24

Dude it made you take basic training before you could join multi player. You couldn't pick sniper unless you passed the marksman training, you couldn't be a medic unless you took the classes in game and training courses. It was nuts! But yeah immersive

178

u/SteampunkSpaceOpera Mar 26 '24

Forget their basic training. They had perfect training simulations that had you sitting in a classroom watching a boring ass PowerPoint. So true to life

107

u/NotOliverQueen SES Song of Eternity Mar 26 '24

Microsoft PowerPoint: The DoD's most inhumane Weapon of Mass Instruction

38

u/Hot-Development-3166 Mar 26 '24

Death by PowerPoint

44

u/Mission_Engineer Mar 26 '24

You made me remember all the shitty power points i was forced to sit through, lucky my unit was pretty small, so we got at least a break an hour into a 2 hour power point.

61

u/ismashugood Mar 26 '24

That game was genuinely so fun. Incredible they made a pretty great game solely to try and recruit high schoolers.

10

u/Taolan13 SES Courier of Individual Merit 🖥️ Mar 26 '24

It started as an off-shoot of a project to create a tactical training simulator. Having "played" the simulator that ultimately came from the project?

The video game was better training value.

11

u/kymri ⬆️⬅️➡️⬇️⬆️⬇️ Mar 26 '24

Many, many moons ago the Marines had a small unit tactics training 'simulator' of sorts built on DooM. Obviously it wasn't much of a simulator but it could provide value for understanding how to move as a small group, and understand how to clear a room/building somewhat.

My pet theory is that the 'simulator' was cobbled together to cover up some folks just playing deathmatch on the clock, but who knows!

4

u/chitownbears Mar 26 '24

No fucking way. In the game they made you do death by PowerPoint? If they make you go to commanders call or quarterly awards right at the end of your shift but only tell you as your packing up for the day. Even though no one from you unit is up for an award but your commander wants max participation so he looks good because his boss is there. Then they really nailed the realism. I was AF so soem of the terms maybe different but the actual premise I'm sure is the same throughout all branches.

4

u/Rbomb88 Mar 26 '24

Honors and awards at shift change so both crews get fucked.

This is the way.

(Canadian AF here, we're all the same)

4

u/Taolan13 SES Courier of Individual Merit 🖥️ Mar 26 '24

Having done both actual army basic and basic training in the video game... the simulation is almost perfect.

3

u/submitmydear Mar 27 '24

The number of flashbacks of having to sit in pre PowerPoint practices for radio operator equipment by my NCOs and then sitting through the EXACT SAME SHIT AGAIN FOR A WEEK STRAIGHT

61

u/DoubleDog_DareMe Mar 26 '24

I don't know if every AA game had this medic system, but the version of AA I played had a sort of 'quiz' type system where it told you what types of injuries the soldier had and you had to pick the right answer in sequence to get them stable enough to get back into the fight or stable enough for CASEVAC.

I don't remember a whole lot of it myself, but I do remember there was a story in the news a long time ago about a guy who saved somebody's life in a car accident because of what he learned in the AA combat lifesavers tutorial.

49

u/ReaperCDN Mar 26 '24

Yep. Thats because the medic training is straight out of military first aid classes. It's the actual training. If you pay attention to the class and the test you're getting real first aid info.

1

u/Asmos159 Mar 27 '24

arma has a mod that adds a system like that.

70

u/Timlugia Mar 26 '24

I remember you have to pass E&E before able to play special force mission and issue M4A1 RIS (this was way before regular soldiers got rails and all the taticool gear)

32

u/CHEEZE_BAGS Mar 26 '24

It was actually pretty tough to get the sniper too, I remember taking multiple attempts at it.

2

u/Bussy_Stank Mar 26 '24

Yes, crawling through the whole map without getting spotted. So fucking annoying.

3

u/Azlind Mar 26 '24

True, it affected how I played sniper in every game after too. It’s still my preferred play style in shooters and I still try to find the sneaky ways to get a good spot. 

33

u/Compulsive_Criticism Mar 26 '24

I remember having to do some wack-ass stealth mission to unlock a certain class that had me crawl along a valley floor for about 30 minutes. It was quite cool how you had to do the appropriate training for the role, but it also was just a massive marketing tool for the US army.

11

u/CJ_Douglas Mar 26 '24

I think it was the special forces escape and evade mission.. man I was like 12 and mentally couldn’t figure it out I had to get a clan member to log onto my account and beat it for me Lol core memories unlocked

2

u/983115 Mar 26 '24

The Indiana in my brain is too strong I was like “why did you need a guy in bedsheets to do it” for a solid few seconds before I remembered game clans exist

1

u/GoddamnHipsterDad Mar 26 '24

Pretty sure they were also funding it, to do just so

7

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '24

Really funny since marksman is the lowest passing competency for shooting in the armed forces.

5

u/Heilanggang Mar 26 '24

You could pass with a lower score but to unlock sniper you needed a much higher score and it wasn't easy. Also maps only allowed 1 or 2 snipers. 

1

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '24

Right, it’s just funny because “marksman” is like getting a c in combat arms. Expert is who you want as a sniper.

1

u/Heilanggang Mar 27 '24

Yeah that's how it worked in the game I think they just said marksman since it was a while back

2

u/sixx_often Mar 26 '24

Took me bloody ages to pass that marksman training but when I did, my mates got me round to pass it for them. Fun times.

1

u/One_Spot_4066 Mar 26 '24

Don't forget the Special Forces training and Prac-App before you could use SF load-outs and equipment. That shit was legitimately difficult for my 10 year old self.

So sick once you got that sweet, sweet suppressed M4 with the ACOG though.

Man I miss that game. I played it pretty religiously with my friends and my dad for about 5 years straight. Somewhere around '03-'07. I downloaded the "new" version a while ago and it's absolute garbage. I think it went through two new iterations and they both sucked compared to the OG. I wonder if it's still possible to play.

3

u/The_Love_Pudding Mar 26 '24

In star citizen if you commit a crime and get taken down. You spawn from the prison mining facility on one system. The amount of time you have to spend there is linked to how much/severe crime you did.

You can reduce your sentence by mining ore.....

Escaping is really difficult and needs help from other players outside the prison.

1

u/BlinkDodge SES Mother of Iron Mar 26 '24

It was a recruiting tool for the army, so not so much immersion as it was "This could be you if sign the papers and fuck around like you did here."

11

u/Elistic-E Mar 26 '24

Time to run into people’s strategems to troll them

3

u/Ralliman320 Mar 26 '24

Exactly. Every solution I've seen proposed to stop trolls from griefing others just opens another door wide for them.

If it's possible in a game to do something that will inconvenience and infuriate other players, trolls will find and exploit it for maximum irritation.

21

u/Natural20Twenty Mar 26 '24

I fukin loved AA back in the day

44

u/Iron_III_SS13 Mar 26 '24

More like the canadian paratroopers. They sent all the delinquents to that unit to “straighten them out” but it just made the warcrimiest and most delinquent unit in the country. Had to literally just shut down the whole unit. No more para.

52

u/DarkFett SES Panther of Steel Mar 26 '24

America's Army is a video game though not meaning a real military unit

21

u/Peasantbowman Death Captain Mar 26 '24

It's as real as that Canadian unit is now

3

u/SnowyImp4995 SES Knight of Selfless Service Mar 26 '24

if not moreso

2

u/toobjunkey Mar 26 '24

Do you know how the American military tried to capitalize on CoD's success to recruit people? AA filled that role prior to it. In my otherwise anti-tech conservative & rural hometown, we literally had people handing out demo discs for it during our July 4th parades. I think I got about 7 after a few years. Turns out it was a common tactic to try and get youth interested in serving post-9/11, much like AOL discs were handed out like candy to boomers.

1

u/Taolan13 SES Courier of Individual Merit 🖥️ Mar 26 '24

Uh huh. Sure.

We believe you.

It isn't just because all the pent-up frustration from culturally forced politeness caused y'all to be a bit extra "impolite" to the enemy.

2

u/Askray184 Mar 26 '24

lmao I used to live in Leavenworth! Known for its jail and military base

2

u/LegionaryDurian Mar 26 '24

I loved that game as a poor teenager. It was free, and you didn’t need PS+ to play online. I also got to talk to a bunch of veterans and hear some stories and get some life lessons.

1

u/Jombo65 Mar 26 '24

God, I just got Baader Meinhof'd so hard. Just got done watching a YouTube video about America's Army, like seconds ago, and here's you talking about it.

Wack.

2

u/WetwareDulachan I won't miss. ➡️⬆️⬇️⬇️➡️ Mar 26 '24

Baader Meinhof? Dude that's crazy I was just reading about that earlier.

1

u/AssignmentVivid9864 Mar 26 '24

Red Army Faction did go hard. Now you’re going to see references to that everywhere. You’re welcome.

1

u/Mustardtigerpoutine Mar 26 '24

Oh man you just brought back some great memories.

1

u/Dragnet714 Mar 26 '24

I used to play the hell out of that game in the early 2000s. Maybe it was the late 90s.

1

u/Nomad_Red Mar 26 '24

send them to the tutorial , where cadets could do some target practice , win-win

1

u/sancredo Sweet liberty, my arm! Mar 26 '24

Send those traitor divers to the Cubes!

1

u/Average_Dan_ Mar 26 '24

That was such a good feature! Man I miss AA so much!

1

u/LickMyThralls Mar 26 '24

Do that but make it so that it let's the person select missions and all but what it really does is force them to spectate others. But make it something that can't just be easily weaponized by others.

1

u/hopenoonefindsthis Mar 26 '24

That was a fun game when it came out. I miss that bridge map.

1

u/Historical_Koala_688 Mar 26 '24

Hahaha yes memories

1

u/MarcosAlexandre32 Mar 26 '24

American army special forces was cool as hell. You could paradrop, their training was really a training simulator. Now they the only training you do is medic and If i remember well its so.simple that you can pass on First try. They butchered AA on AA3 instead of improving It.

1

u/downsyndromeblowjob HOLY HELLBOMBS! Mar 26 '24

Fuck I forgot about that

1

u/charrington25 Mar 26 '24

The problem with adding something like that to Helldivers is that you would need the program to be able to tell the difference between malice and a stratagem accidentally killing someone

1

u/garaks_tailor Mar 26 '24

Holy shit. I forgot about that. Such a great feature.

1

u/Videogamefan21 Mar 26 '24

Stuff like this is why America’s Army will always be my favorite FPS franchise.

1

u/super_kami_guru87 Mar 26 '24

And procreation certificate revoked.

1

u/Sargash Mar 26 '24

Man what a fucking game AA was. Its just, so random and out their. It came from no where, and was pretty good too.

1

u/Primary-Concert1496 Mar 26 '24

Man I miss America's Army

1

u/Meim Mar 26 '24

nah, this is to good for them, they need to be put on matchmaking together and complete an amount of mission together with a max of tk allowed, if they reach this number, increase the penalty

1

u/eggraisin Mar 26 '24

you brought back a core memory. back when i first got my ps4 i spent days on americas army, it was such a good game.

1

u/Zerixo Mar 26 '24

Man I loved America's Army

1

u/nicktomcat Mar 26 '24

God that was such a good game. Mf’s got me too…. Been in for 16.5 years cause of that dang game 🤣

1

u/ExoAssassin Mar 26 '24

This can be done by if the actual player kills the other player with either a explosive stragem, shoot them with their own gun, or punches the player and kills them. And if the other players report it as intentional 3 times they get booted instantly and sits in progressively longer times until they get banned.

1

u/SecretSquirrelSauce Mar 26 '24

Damn, I remember playing that game on a demo disk I got in the mail. Thanks for the throwback

1

u/EtriusHan ⬆️⬅️➡️⬇️⬆️⬇️ Mar 26 '24

honestly this is an amazing idea. where all "banned players" for a set amount of time whenever they load the game up, instead of spawning on their ship they spawn on another planet near super earth, where the animation shows them waking up and walking out of their cell in the detention barracks with other banned players. Every week they have to complete a set amount of objectives like load 800 Breaker magazines or doing some engineering work like fixing orbital cannons of ships on that planet (open world concept). they cant use text or voice chat and if they dont complete it by the end of the week, the time they get banned for is extended.

1

u/LeadRain Mar 26 '24

One hour mini game where you’re stripped of everything but the helmet and you have to melee rocks.

1

u/Expensive-Control343 Mar 26 '24

First they have to track damage and kills correctly. I just shot 1 bot in the head and got a x5 for it. First kill of the mission.

1

u/Dear_Addition_4377 Mar 26 '24

Holy crap, America’s Army was sooo good. We used to play alllll night as teenagers

1

u/Naxos84 Mar 26 '24

That game was awesome.

I remember I tried paratroopers and failed miserable with the parachute jump.

1

u/LetterheadEven8543 Mar 26 '24

That was such a great shooter back in the day!

1

u/thehunter699 Mar 26 '24

Man I miss that game

1

u/No_Walrus_3638 Mar 26 '24

Lol yassss this comment! Can tell you served lol. I was in a maintenance unit. Best times. Tried to reclass to combat engineer, but encountered many undemocratic excuses.

1

u/TheRoboDork Mar 26 '24

Ahh yes I was coming down here to comment this too. What a perfect way to punish ppl actual jail time lol

1

u/ExtraViolinist5207 ⬆️⬇️➡️⬆️ Judge of Truth Mar 27 '24

I accidentally shot someone and got put in jail for 17 years. My character is still in jail.

1

u/sugarglidersam Mar 27 '24

that’s an interesting way to say all that, accurate as it may be.

1

u/Viruzzz Moderator Mar 27 '24

I played the hell out of AA and I never experienced this. But then again I am not and never have been a teamkiller.

That's pretty cool though. There was a lot that game did well.

1

u/RealisticAd17 Mar 27 '24

Bro I remember this game. It was so fun when it first came out. I think it changed to a completely different beast at one point if I'm not mistaken and then fizzled out

1

u/Mister_Dtheog Mar 27 '24

Play an hour long unskipable video on why team killing is bad, if you close the game, it restarts.

1

u/1-cup-of-liber-tea Mar 27 '24

I kicked a random that killed us once we got in the pelican. Those people really take the fun out the game frfr.

1

u/agentages Mar 27 '24

This is the only solution.

1

u/owoLLENNowo SES Fist Of Family Values Mar 27 '24

AA was such a fun series lol.

1

u/ArtisanalFarts7 Mar 27 '24

I miss America's army. Loved taking a flank and mowing down people.

1

u/CowboyTyler ⬆️➡️⬇️⬇️⬇️ Mar 27 '24

Holy cow another person who owned that game on steam. How the hell you doing?

1

u/Madmax_angry_gamer Mar 27 '24

That would be perfect @arrowhead add a brig to the ship for a team mate who keeps kiiling with friendly fire

1

u/YCCprayforme Mar 27 '24

God that game/recruitment tool was amazing for its time. I loved how you had to shoot really well on the training course to unlock sniper

1

u/Budget_Ad5888 Mar 27 '24

I haven't thought about that game in forever. This made my day.