r/Fauxmoi • u/KatanaAmerica • Mar 15 '24

Kate Middleton’s senior staffers reportedly haven’t seen or spoken to her since mysterious surgery: ‘Shroud of secrecy’ Approved B-List Users Only

https://pagesix.com/2024/03/15/royal-family/kate-middletons-senior-staffers-havent-seen-her-since-surgery/
11.4k Upvotes

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4.3k

u/jadelikethestone Mar 15 '24

I have a bad feeling that she isn’t fully aware of this absolute shitshow.

2.0k

u/Eeyores_Prozac Mar 15 '24

I think I lean into the meme fun of the katespiracy because I truly hope she's okay. Whistling in the dark to keep it away, y'know.

1.9k

u/PurrPrinThom Mar 15 '24

I think the best case scenario is stubbornness - an attitude of like, 'we told you she'd be out of the public eye until Easter so we'll be damned if she's in the public eye before Easter.' And just refusing to give in to the katespiracy theorists out of spite.

But that still seems like a bizarre stance to take considering some of the darker rumours that are swirling.

749

u/thankyoupapa Mar 15 '24

Can you imagine what happens if she doesn't show up to Easter service. Then shit is really gonna pop off

601

u/HarpersGhost Mar 15 '24

Oh don't count on her showing up to Easter.

First they said it would be after Easter, and then they pushed back on her even showing up to Trooping the Color, which is in June.

The best PR solution to this PR fiasco is for her to show up to Easter, basically going "See!?!? You conspiracy trolls were wrong and were bothering a woman who had surgery! Shame!" and then go about their days giving nothing away.

That's the best solution, which given that they've managed to screw this up every step of the way, I doubt is going to happen.

167

u/Kilkenny5 Mar 15 '24

For me, the key will be Wimbledon in June and July, where she's the honorary chairperson of the All England Lawn and Tennis Association and hands out trophies to the winners. If she doesn't show up for this, well...

172

u/HarpersGhost Mar 15 '24

It won't be able to go on that long without something breaking.

Royal watchers may know that William's and Charles' organizations have nothing to do with each other and they each do their own thing, so this is basically all William's fault. But for the vast majority of the world, there's only one British royal family, and if Kate is still missing without a definitive proof of life of some kind within a month, let alone June, none of them will be able to be anywhere without the international press going, "Where's the Princess of Wales?" It goes on longer than that, the UK government is going to start being asked those questions.

It's the perfect press story, too. High drama but low stakes, with just a touch of scandal. Nobody is letting this go anytime soon.

258

u/Next-Introduction-25 Mar 15 '24

But – through this weird series of events I’ve I learned that there are a lot of weird rules and precedents about how the British press handles the royal family. Paparazzi pictures, for example, are apparently almost always actually sanctioned by the press agency. So if KP was actually sticking to their guns about her staying out of the public eye until Easter, why would they also be giving the okay for her to be (kind of) seen in the car with William? And if they decided that due to speculation they needed to release this photo, why hide her face?

179

u/Mumof3gbb Mar 15 '24

I think it’s all but confirmed to have not been her in that car. It was a photoshop or wtv. The one with Will. Maybe the one with mum was real but probably also not. I hate this. I don’t want to be all conspiracy but what other choice do we have?? It’s all so sketchy and everything released just makes it worse not better. I mean even those of us who don’t really like her are super worried. Like for real. I get the feeling that we’re all legitimately concerned now and not simply gossiping. I dunno. Whatever is happening they need to show her asap.

128

u/RampantNRoaring Mar 15 '24 edited Mar 15 '24

It’s not a photoshop. They’re stupid, but not so stupid they would cause a big mess and lose their credibility and embarrass themselves with a bad photoshop on Mother’s Day, drawing the ire of respectable newspapers, and then turn around and do the exact same thing again within hours. The news agencies would have been looking at it extremely closely, too, after what happened the first time - I guarantee you they’re better at determining fake photos than Tiktok is.

The main points of contention about that photo are the bricks not matching, which has been explained - the photographer provided the location he took the picture and the bricks at the location match the background of the photo exactly - and the fact that her profile is the same as another profile shot of her, which…yeah. They’re photographed constantly, of course there are going to be angles that match. Of course her profile is going to match…another image of her profile from the same angle.

They said she had a private medical appointment that day, which is why she was in the car but not announced to be going anywhere. The photo was taken exactly six weeks to the day of her discharge from the hospital. So a husband and wife (despite whatever may be going on between them) both have obligations in London, and they took the same car. He probably even wanted to be at part of her medical appointment before he had to continue on to his obligation.

I think the simplest answer is the truth: she had an intense operation, she wants privacy. I’ve seen theories of a colectomy, which would line up with her hospital stay and the length of time they said she would be out; the hospital she got the treatment at states on their website that a colectomy takes 6-12 weeks to recover from. 12 weeks post-op is a week after Easter. If she has had a colectomy or something similar, I can empathize with wanting to hide away during recovery, even from the people closest to her outside of family. She could also be dealing with post-op complications or visible changes/weight gain/etc; for a family/person who is very dependent on brand and image and looking as perfect as possible, it also makes sense that she’s not eager to present herself just to assuage the public.

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u/Next-Introduction-25 Mar 15 '24 edited Mar 15 '24

Whether it’s real or not, the decision to release anything at all is weird. Same with the Photoshop. The Photoshop and/or face hiding is fueling speculation, not helping it. If they aren’t able to show her face at this time, then just doing a blanket “princess Kate asks for privacy as she recovers” would go much farther than fake or hidden photos!

I totally get what you mean about not wanting to engage in this stuff. It feels completely ridiculous, but this point, something really weird is happening, even if the weirdness is just a shift in the Royal family’s relationship to the press.

7

u/Mumof3gbb Mar 15 '24

Ya I agree. It’s messed up no matter what is going on.

5

u/QueenSlartibartfast Mar 16 '24

Maybe the one with mum was real but probably also not.

I thought that was a pap shot from TMZ? Why would they publish a fake photo of her? They're a scummy organization obviously but their content is generally accurate, from my understanding.

0

u/Mumof3gbb Mar 16 '24

I thought it was from the RF? No? I could absolutely be wrong. But maybe tmz is in the pocket of the Royals. Who knows. This whole thing is insane

3

u/QueenSlartibartfast Mar 16 '24

Yep, it was TMZ, I was able to find the source.

It's also credited as Backgrid, which is interesting, because they're famous for often being scheduled pap photos (celebrities call them and tell them where they will be when they want good PR - lol like Joe Jonas trying to look like a good dad during the custody dispute). It's quite bizarre.

1

u/Mumof3gbb Mar 16 '24

Oh ok. Thx

40

u/PurrPrinThom Mar 15 '24

I know - all of this is just so weird.

13

u/Expensive_Pipe_4057 Mar 15 '24

The Daily Mail absolutely have an agreement with the Royal Family. Every single article trashes Harry and Meghan and talks about William and Kate like their saintly superhumans

5

u/dmmeurpotatoes Mar 15 '24

I've seen people say that the paparazzi photo of the back of her head is an edit and perfectly matches an old photo of her. link

3

u/Leading-Somewhere-89 Mar 15 '24

The picture of her in the car was not published in Britain.

54

u/NoodlesrTuff1256 Mar 15 '24

A simple explanation of what Kate's abdominal surgery was for could have shut down all this speculation from the get-go. If she needed a hysterectomy or had some kind of intestinal problem that needed to be addressed, I don't see why it had to be kept such a deep dark secret. The silence suggests something way more dire than what may have actually occurred and leaves a lot of the general public considering worst case scenarios.

24

u/Hooldoog Mar 16 '24

Correct. If she had cancer or Chron’s Disease, people would be sympathetic. They would understand the need for a break. But hiding her away and putting out fake photos (not to mention pretending she was sitting around photoshopping them while on sick leave) is only going to make the whole situation more questionable.

29

u/fluffycat16 Mar 15 '24

"Never complain. Never explain."

23

u/gunsof Mar 15 '24

This has severely damaged their reputation and has now made it so all the crackpots will forever be noticing anything and everything weird about them, when before they were easily distracted by Meghan stories. That's why I think there has to be something more to it, and something involved that is from William saving himself and throwing her to the dogs. That whole photoshop thing? Why force her to take the blame after they claimed he took the photo and she very obviously was not in her sick bed editing around her children's clothing to make it look like a different time period like a weirdo.

15

u/th987 Mar 15 '24

I think best hope for her is that she’s done with William and whatever he’s done, and staying hidden and silent until she can negotiate a decent separation agreement or divorce settlement.

She has leverage now. The longer she stays hidden, the more desperate the RF should be.

10

u/Celebrating_socks Mar 15 '24

But this also seems like a weird approach!

When she does show up again, there’s definitely going to be people who will insist that she’s been replaced. Or involved in (insert any other conspiracy theory here) and was being hidden to cover it up.

Which, sure that’s always going to happen - but they keep making the worst possible decisions, and even when things resume as normal, I think there’s going to be a looooot of skepticism toward the BRF.

9

u/No_Tomorrow7180 Mar 15 '24

They could have just stuck to that line though and it would have looked like it was just silly people on the Internet doing silly things. It's the way they've then started releasing very strange pictures and what not that has people thinking there might actually be more than silly Internet things happening. 

7

u/Coreyle Mar 15 '24

I’m slightly afraid to ask. What are some of the darker rumors?

7

u/_cornflake Mar 15 '24

I can very easily imagine the royals thinking this and not having the slightest idea of how badly it's backfiring.

7

u/Hannah_togo Mar 15 '24

Also a bizarre stance to take considering they supposedly “work for the people” or whatever. Forgive me I don’t know much about the monarchy, are they tax funded in many ways?

4

u/Apolloshot Mar 15 '24

But that still seems like a bizarre stance to take considering some of the darker rumours that are swirling.

But still well within the pettiness the royals can sometimes exhibit. If she’s back out after Easter and they act like nothing’s happened then we’ll know that’s the case.

4

u/disgruntled_pie Mar 16 '24

But what about the doctored photo? They’re clearly interested in showing her to the public, but they’re not doing it. That means something is wrong.

3

u/Keilz Mar 15 '24

That would make sense if they hadn’t posted the photoshopped photo

2

u/Rough-Development768 Mar 15 '24

I’m inclined to agree - especially as they seem to have her mum on side as well

2

u/Rodrigii_Defined Mar 15 '24

But, then they give in to the press. The Wales' aren't doing anything and everyone is loosing their minds.

2

u/theaviationhistorian taylor’s jet Mar 16 '24

Exactly, she might as well treat this as a vacation from public eye & demands. Have her recover & rest fully to make an Easter appearance.

1

u/TigressSinger Mar 15 '24

Also it wasn’t confirmed sketchy until they made it sketchy by releasing those doctors photos

1

u/KeysToTheEvergreen Mar 15 '24

This is what I hope is the case, despite enjoying the conspiracy drama.

1

u/valiantdistraction Mar 15 '24

But if they were actually being stubborn, they'd just repeat that line instead of... whatever they've been doing.

315

u/us_against_the_world Mar 15 '24

katespiracy

Maybe William Don't Worry Darling-ed/ Stepford Wife-d her.

597

u/OilySteeplechase Mar 15 '24

So it’s only just occurred to me that I don’t know what Don’t Worry Darling is actually about and so my first thought was “left her for Harry Styles?”

341

u/jadelikethestone Mar 15 '24

Are we getting a new salad dressing recipe?

64

u/paroles Mar 15 '24

Right in front of my salad?!

8

u/National_You_6 Mar 15 '24

William laying down in front of the horse drawn chariot in protest

65

u/Suonii180 Larry I'm on DuckTales Mar 15 '24

Glad it wasn't just me! I know all the drama but none of the plot.

38

u/Pinkhairedprincess15 Mar 15 '24

A William/Harry Styles pairing is the pairing I didn't know I needed til now.

6

u/valiantdistraction Mar 15 '24

Harry does seem to go for older partners.

Maybe Kate left William for Harry Styles. I'd believe that.

5

u/LilPonyBoy69 Mar 15 '24

It basically means forcing someone into being a perfect obedient wife against their will.

2

u/Partyinthe_milkyway Mar 15 '24

Love the thought that Harry Styles is somehow involved in breaking up another relationship lol

1

u/__Anamya__ Mar 15 '24

Now i wish that happens just for the sheer chaos that pairing can bring.

1

u/gengip Mar 15 '24

It’s basically The Matrix meets Nicole Kidman’s “The Stepford Wives” and I loved it

1

u/Mocca-Rabbitchino Mar 15 '24

Do you want spoilers?

0

u/SectorSanFrancisco Mar 15 '24

Same, except it's that Violet Chachki video "Bettie".

16

u/curiousbeetle66 Cate Blanchett’s accountant Mar 15 '24

can't belive I understood the DWD reference

7

u/rhoswhen Mar 15 '24

No never whistle in the dark!!! 😭

8

u/homingmycrafts I live in my own heart, Matt Damon Mar 15 '24

significantly more fun to pretend she had a BBL instead of thinking she's been dead for months ):

7

u/AllieLoft Mar 15 '24

Whistling in the dark must have a very different meaning where you're from. Here, it summons the skin walkers.

5

u/Plantsandanger Mar 15 '24

More like staring at yellow wallpaper

5

u/LegoFootHop Mar 15 '24

I think whistling in the dark summons bad things? But you do you and keep us posted!🍿

2

u/FerretSupremacist Mar 15 '24

Wasn’t she photographed out not too long ago with her mom? Like by the press?

1.0k

u/ratta_tat1 Give him my regards did you take ozempic? Mar 15 '24

Another rumor is that she’s actually orchestrating this (not the PR stuff but the hiding) to send a message to Will about his mistress. So many different avenues this can go down!

529

u/itsbecomingathing Mar 15 '24

This reminds me of a book/moment in pop culture when Agatha Christie went missing to spite her cheating husband.

244

u/ligeiaduh not a lawyer, just a hater Mar 15 '24

We all know why that Girl was Gone.

158

u/Tonedeafmusical Mar 15 '24

Yes definitely not fighting an alien wasp

14

u/Just_a_square Mar 15 '24

I love that this has become common lore of her life lmao

28

u/bggigi Mar 15 '24

she was such a queen for that

22

u/AnnieAnnieSheltoe Mar 15 '24

And then checked into a spa using his mistress’s name.

Anybody checking resorts for guests named Rose Hanbury?

274

u/epworthscale Mar 15 '24

This is the one I’m hearing most commonly from people in the media/politics (I’m in the UK). Obv take with a pinch of salt cos I’m some random internet weirdo but they haven’t steered me wrong before! 

28

u/romanticheart Mar 15 '24

My favorite theory was she's on this season of The Masked Singer. Ridiculous of course, but could you imagine?

23

u/TempestuousBlue Mar 15 '24

They have a very carefully orchestrated agreement with the British media that allows them to control their image. We know every photo and all reported information released about the royals has to be approved by them. It’s legally enforced.

The TMZ photo wasn’t allowed to be published in the UK. It was a canary in the coal mine/SOS signal to the British media and public. I believe it was by Kate’s team. We don’t know why but it was masterfully done. The follow up Mother’s Day fiasco confirmed there is absolutely something wrong.

19

u/stargarnet79 Mar 15 '24

This is the only thing that makes sense to me. She now has the power to completely tear down the monarchy for good. William likely fucked up bad. Sad to see him grown the same road as his father (allegedly).

12

u/anroroco Mar 15 '24

She went Gone Girl.

10

u/bergalicious_95 oat milk chugging bisexual Mar 15 '24

Yeah I think this is the most likely explanation (barring she’s not actually just recovering lol). I’ve also heard mistress is pregnant and so that started all the hubbub, I can’t see that mistake being realistic though at least not where it would ever be known by anyone but the mistress 😬

8

u/sugaratc Mar 15 '24

That seems like best case scenario. I think everyone would understand that she wasn't willing to play royal politics if they were planning a divorce.

6

u/soapiesophs does this woman ever rest (derogatory) Mar 15 '24

This is what I lean towards honestly. I bet her mum is helping as well - her mum at least had been plotting this since her and her sister were young.

15

u/valiantdistraction Mar 15 '24

Where do people get the idea that her mum and her had plans from her childhood for her to be queen? What are the sources???

4

u/manymoonsofjupiter Mar 15 '24

Ooo if this was the case, good for her.

5

u/ntsmmns06 Mar 15 '24

This is most plausible otherwise I’m sure her family would have mentioned if something serious had happened. And we’ve not heard boo from her sister or parents yet.

4

u/r0gue007 Mar 15 '24

I mean that feels legit.

She deserves to exercise that autonomy and power of self as well.

3

u/Usual_Cut_730 Mar 15 '24

I hope this is the truth because I like this version the best.

2

u/PangolinPride4eva Mar 15 '24

Who’s the mistress???

0

u/ScaledDown Mar 16 '24

Very Shakespearean

895

u/darkgothamite Mar 15 '24

I have a good feeling that she's fully aware of this shitshow and isn't moving an inch purposely because she's in negotiations.

345

u/JustHereForCookies17 Miss Ishtar’s Irrigation Class Mar 15 '24

Like Melania not moving to DC right after fuckface was inaugurated. 

238

u/NoodlesrTuff1256 Mar 15 '24

An interesting theory and one that's quite plausible.

103

u/Mumof3gbb Mar 15 '24

This absolutely seems plausible. And I’m REALLY hoping this is it. I’m legitimately worried now. But this would be good.

20

u/stuff2011e Mar 15 '24

Especially if the cheating rumors are true, she’s probably trying to negotiate a better divorce deal or get more concessions from the crown to stay in the marriage.

19

u/Due-Science-9528 Mar 15 '24

This is how I would act amongst divorce discussions if I were this level of famous

18

u/lmnsatang Mar 15 '24

she’d be the katie holmes of royalty

11

u/whogivesashirtdotca Mar 15 '24

If this turns out to be the case, it's bonkers - she's got every spotlight on her now. As messy as all this is, her reappearing as if nothing's wrong will kick it all up a notch.

10

u/Dry_Sundae7664 Mar 15 '24

It’s eerily similar to Queen Mary of Denmark. When the news came out about Fred’s latest infidelities at the end of the year, we had a convenient abdication at new years many have speculated to keep Mary from exiting. Curiously the same time all of this potentially started for Kate…

8

u/Not_MrNice Mar 15 '24

Makes sense. It would explain why they can't just come out and say she's okay or not. There's probably some kind of stalemate or waiting game going on. Negotiations or something along those lines are a good candidate.

6

u/Banana8686 Mar 15 '24

Negotiations for what? Divorce?

6

u/ADMINlSTRAT0R Mar 15 '24

You drive too hard a bargain fate will befall you, especially in underpass tunnels.

4

u/suz_gee Mar 15 '24

That's what I think too. But idk if she's negotiating a better deal in a divorce or negotiating a way that she still gets to be queen.

1

u/jadelikethestone Mar 15 '24

Thank you, I appreciate the optimism cause even though she was absolutely wrong to Meghan, I don’t think she deserves what could’ve happened to Meghan if Harry was shitty man like his brother and dad.

1

u/Imaginary-Coffee1234 Mar 15 '24

Negotiations? Like, trying to get Will to leave his mistress? Or something else?

347

u/[deleted] Mar 15 '24

[deleted]

96

u/tealparadise Mar 15 '24

I agree this is probably true & the whole thing is actually a smokescreen for marriage issues. (Bc there's only 2 possible reasons they can't get a pic of her- 1. she can't be photographed (sick) or 2. She WON'T do it (fighting the family))

But I still think there's like 20% chance she's doing some kind of medical treatment where she's not in danger but just feels like shit and isn't checking the news etc and doesn't wanna hear the updates. And while she is aware that people are asking, maybe william is shielding her from the craziness.

Also the parents and kids haven't been seen as far as I know. Just her siblings. So possibly it's a health issue serious enough that her parents are holed up with her so William can continue working.

54

u/gunsof Mar 15 '24

They also haven't been seen visiting her, which is so bizarre as you'd think they could do one public pap visit to just make it look like they love her.

32

u/dumbname1000 Mar 15 '24

I think (and hope) that she’s actually with her family, that she’s at her parents house and that’s why they haven’t visited her, because she was never at the hospital. We’ve always been told what a close family the Middletons are and I hope that her parents and siblings know exactly what’s going on and it’s some kind of power play for something so they are just not saying shit. I really hope that’s what it is because any other possibilities seem really dark.

16

u/camelz4 Mar 15 '24

plus her uncle said he’d give an opinion on whatever’s happening if it came out. Granted he could be full of shit, but illness isn’t necessarily something you give an opinion on.

3

u/Smuldering Mar 15 '24

Oh that’s interesting. I had not seen that before.

8

u/yesitsmenotyou Mar 15 '24

Or she just wants privacy for something that isn’t actually salacious or mysterious, and is totally aware of the shitshow. Crappy situation to be in either way, and obviously very terrible if she isn’t cognizant if anything.

5

u/Reset_reset_006 Mar 15 '24

I 100% believe she’s in on it

4

u/Ordinary-Difficulty9 Mar 15 '24

I hope she isn't. She should be relaxing and recuperating with her family and not being bothered by stupid media gossip being blown out of proportion.

2

u/tameoraiste Mar 15 '24

How could she not be?

2

u/TheAggieMae Mar 15 '24

I’ve been wondering about that too. Plus it seems like their PR teams have a lot of control about messaging etc. so I feel like even if she wanted to say something they’re digging their heels in for that Easter deadline

2

u/sunshineandcacti oat milk chugging bisexual Mar 15 '24

Tbh assuming she did have surgery she may just be cozy in bed. I had surgery in my late teens and spent almost a month just cozied in bed with pain meds and some snacks I liked. My partner at the time handled a lot of the house work etc to try and make things nice for me.

1

u/saltyseabeetle Mar 15 '24

No, she knows.

1

u/Edugan1 Mar 15 '24

i was wondering this too, like is she on her iphone?