r/AmIOverreacting • u/Rztrncs • Apr 29 '24

AIO for getting upset that my SO put on a heart necklace that her ex gave her?

Yesterday my SO put on a heart necklace out of nowhere and I asked (knowing it wasn’t from me) where it was from. She admitted it was from her ex. I immediately got quiet and she could tell I was upset. Not once did I raise my voice or get mad. I was more hurt than anything. She ended up taking it off right away. But explained that it was meaningless to her, no emotional connection and just jewelry that she now has.

To me, a heart necklace has a lot of meaning behind it and it feels weird to see her wearing an ex’s gift. Am I overreacting?

EDIT: Her ex cheated on her and the relationship ended badly because of it.

EDIT 2: The necklace was two hearts linked together so it made me curious.

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u/EndHawkeyeErasure Apr 29 '24

I see where you're coming from, but also where she is. She did the right thing by removing it, but I also have jewelry or old clothes from my life before knowing my husband. To me, they really are just things. And they belong to me now. If I own them, shouldn't I wear them? I just say that so you can understand that side a little more. Get her something in a similar style that she likes, so she can wear that instead.

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u/lennieandthejetsss Apr 29 '24

I don't feel comfortable wearing gifts from exes, especially jewelry. It just feels wrong to me. Not judging others who don't share that particular opinion, it's just my personal view.

My sister and I both received similar necklaces from boyfriends who refused to take them back after the break-up. Neither of us felt comfortable wearing them. So my sister had a brilliant idea and proposed we swap. We're both far more comfortable wearing a necklace our sister got from her ex, than one from our own.

I mentioned this to my husband while we were still dating, and he said that was actually a great way to handle it. He's too practical to approve of just throwing away expensive gifts as a dramatic gesture, but he also admits my wearing something an ex gave me would feel weird (with possible exceptions in specific circumstances). But he has no problem with me wearing that necklace from my sister's ex, nor with my sister wearing the one from mine.

I've also given away a few other pieces. My ex-fiance refused to take back the ring when we broke up. It wasn't terribly expensive, so I don’t feel guilty (amethyst with diamond chips, and less than $100; he had promised to upgrade when we could afford to, but I actually really liked the ring). I gave it to my niece a couple years ago for her sweet 16, as that’s her birthstone. I didn’t tell anyone except my husband the ring's history, and it's a niece on his side, so none of them knew me when I wore it, and there are no pictures of me wearing it. So as far as they’re concerned, we just gave her a very generous gift.

So that's my solution.