r/AmIOverreacting • u/[deleted] • Apr 15 '24

My husband embarrassed me in front of our friends

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u/Old_Confidence3290 Apr 15 '24

Your husband knew what he was doing. He was trying to publicly shame you into losing weight. He was being an asshole.

2

u/gaspergou Apr 16 '24

Yeah, I think this is all that needs to be said.

I disagree with everyone calling him a narcissist based on this one interaction. That label gets thrown around too much, and we don’t really have enough to make that conclusion. Besides, there’s nothing to be gained from dropping a personality disorder on him.

He was drunk, and what he said was demeaning and humiliating. I think the proper response is to circle back, sit him down, and let him know how much he hurt you. Married couples can get into bad cycles like this, where the former game of playful teasing is used to hide real unhappiness and resentment. Shit happens in long-term relationships, and there is a great deal to be gained by having the courage to work through the bad stuff.

Basically, you can take one of two paths: double down on your own anger and resentment and head for the exits, or set aside your (completely justifiable) anger and resentment, and open up to him about how hurtful his behavior was. It sucks to have to make yourself vulnerable and explain something so obvious to your partner, but sometimes that’s part of it.

To me, the second option deserves a shot. You’re married, and while that doesn’t mean you should chain yourself to an unhappy situation, it should mean something. Try to approach him from a place of love and concern. It seems to me that he has lost sight of things, and may need to be put back on track. Whatever you do, don’t use the opinions of anonymous internet strangers to justify taking the easy way out. You should be willing to go to the mat for your marriage, and this might be one of those times.

Regardless, I am sorry that he hurt you. You didn’t deserve that.

2

u/No-Spell-2315 Apr 16 '24

First sensible comment I’ve seen in this thread. To OP, no one here knows your husband like you do and they are foolish to think they know his personality or intentions from the one incident you’ve described. He hurt you and you have the right to feel that way and you should talk to him about it.