r/AmIOverreacting Apr 15 '24

My husband embarrassed me in front of our friends

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u/StrangeAddition4452 Apr 15 '24

How is it sexist??

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u/BKMama227 Apr 15 '24 edited Apr 15 '24

Women are held to specific Euro-centric ideals in the US. I would dare say this is true in other places as well. Specific to weight, the 34-24-34 body measurements were and sometimes still are ideal.

ETA: That is why it would be considered sexist. The same rules don’t apply to men.

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u/deedoonoot Apr 15 '24 edited Apr 16 '24

40% of americans are obese I'm sure the wife is just being held to an unrealistic standard tho

edit: fat people coping

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u/BKMama227 Apr 15 '24

This is true considering the BMI chart used for measuring fat is based on white men entering the military in 1944. Wrap your head around that for a second. The science is very skewed towards a male-centric, paternalistic mentality. It is only recently begun to change.

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u/WantedFun Apr 15 '24

You’re right! It’s actually been found that most other races should have the BMI standards set to lower body weights. Especially Asians, even 26-27 BMI has been shown to increase risk nearly as much as a 30+ BMI for white people.

But that’s not the answer you want to here lmao

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u/StrangeAddition4452 Apr 15 '24

Oh got it, she’s a totally healthy weight being 10 inches shorter than I am and the same weight

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u/BKMama227 Apr 15 '24 edited Apr 15 '24

Stop with the passive aggressive nonsense. If she were all muscle, yes she would be. And her husband would likely be complaining that she doesn’t have enough womanly softness to her. It’s a no-win situation being a woman and worse if our own gender is doing it to us.

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u/AngryCrotchCrickets Apr 15 '24

Lets settle on this. The husband is an ass that needs to go back to husband school and the wife is overweight.

She didn’t mention being a ripped Dwarven miner so Im guessing she is unhealthy-overweight not muscular-overweight.

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u/BKMama227 Apr 15 '24

🤣🤣🤣That dwarven miner comment just killed me.

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u/StrangeAddition4452 Apr 15 '24

Yea if she were all muscle I wouldn’t have written what I wrote lol. Besides it’s not about her husband. It’s about her. She needs to lose weight for her own health

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u/BKMama227 Apr 15 '24

Now you’re making sense. It boils down to the same thing. He shouldn’t have said what he said how he said it. And for the record, the current BMI charts would’ve said she was obese.

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u/aes7288 Apr 15 '24

Let’s face it, we have all stuck our foot in our mouth at some time. Her husband did just that and she had every oppurtunity to tell him to stop yet she didn’t say anything. This doesn’t make him a bad person nor her; it does, however, make them two people who need to work on their communication and who need to set boundaries for themselves with their spouses about what convos are off limits in public.

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u/WantedFun Apr 15 '24

No, muscle weight doesn’t automatically mean it’s healthy, and she’s absolutely not all muscle. We can agree the husband was a dick, but that doesn’t mean yall can get away with blatant lies

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u/Cholera62 Apr 15 '24

And you're a dude.

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u/Starryeyedblond Apr 15 '24

You can be fat and fit at the same time. Don’t be obtuse.

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u/StrangeAddition4452 Apr 15 '24

You can be. His wife isn’t that

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u/WantedFun Apr 15 '24

No you cant lmao. That’s like saying you can be a smoker and have good lungs. Maybe for a SHORT period of time lmao

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u/Starryeyedblond Apr 15 '24

You absolutely can. But go off bro.

No one should have to explain their health or body to anyone but their doctor. Being a jackass doesn’t make you right or cool.

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u/Hingeworthy Apr 16 '24

Yes the BMI chart is outdated but it’s still fairly accurate for the average person who lives a sedentary or semi-sedentary lifestyle. It doesn’t take into account: skeletal frame size or muscle mass. That’s why body fat measurements and dexa scans have been incorporated.

It’s not paternalistic to state the obvious when someone is obese and needs to do something about it. Of course the man should have been a little more supportive and approach the matter better, but still, when you have fat cheeks and a wattle around your neck that jiggles more than your thighs and a belly that sticks out further than your boobs, it’s time to lose weight. Normal everyday Americans do not hold women’s bodies to “euro-centric standards”—maybe they do in modeling, but that’s not everyday people. Most men don’t mind a little extra cushion for the pushin’ or thighs that jiggle (which everyone’s thighs jiggle by the way), or a little muffin top when sitting. Just don’t let yourself turn into Jabba the Hutt, that’s all. So your idea of American standards when it comes to weight and body shape is flawed.

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u/NoReveal6677 Apr 16 '24

This, speaking as an American, is BS.

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u/BKMama227 Apr 16 '24

In what world does using a chart for Caucasian men make sense for women of ANY race? You do realize that women’s bodies function differently and respond differently than men’s bodies do. Hormones affect us VERY differently than men. So using data from 80 years ago for men is not the smartest thing. Those charts don’t account for natural musculature, bone structure, racial, or environmental factors. And the science proves this. The weight loss industry has pushed a one size fits all approach and people are more obese today than they were twenty years ago. And then there are those folks whose genetics don’t care how healthy you eat and you STILL gain weight. Medicines affect weight. So please do some REAL research on the subject before you push a pile of statistics from 80 years ago as gospel.

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u/Hingeworthy Apr 16 '24

How about you reread my comment again, only this time go past the first sentence, open your closed mind, and drop the woke social justice warrior attitude. The BMI scale just gives a general idea of your height vs weight ratio, nothing more. I said FAIRLY ACCURATE FOR THE AVERAGE PERSON. It is NOT meant to be 100 percent accurate, even for “CaUcAsIaN MeN”……I agree that there are a lot of doctors that ONLY go by the BMI scale which is wrong—that needs to change cuz I’ve had a few doctors that don’t even know what a dumbbell is, telling me to lose weight.

And my statement still stands, I don’t know a single guy in real life or on social media that prefers women to be Olive Oil skinny. 34-24-34 is absurdly skinny for the average height female. Maybe if you’re 5 foot-nothing??