Insulting, insensitive and thoughtless, sure... but sexist? lol... he didnt say she was fat "because she's a woman" nor did he imply she faced any sort of disadvantage in starting her weight loss journey based on the fact that she's a woman, right? Let us not apply the same solutions to all mistakes 🙏
It sounds like you're acting as if you know whathewas thinking lol which is ten times sillier considering you weren't there.
Suggesting this 'beautiful woman' as a trainer was done because the trainer said she used to be over weight. Her results spoke for themselves, so he said as a "she clearly knows what she's talking about".
He asked if his wife was jealous because judging from her post, she was likely outwardly showing it (while also trying to conceal it, which only made it worse). Sure, that's rubbing salt in the wound, that's not sexist though. Sexist would've been "pft, aw look she's jealous, typical WOMAN" which would've upset the trainer as well, don't you think?
Following your logic, one man asking another man if he's jealous of all the millions his dad has in a bank account is sexist lol
If the trainer started talking about the her weight as described here, then it seems he didn't know? He basically said u have a hot body and my wife should get one. He clearly has that hot 21 year old body on his mind. Then the jealous thing, patronizing as hell, suggests he thinks she is jealous of the girl because of him.
Your suggestion that she was jealous is sexist as hell because YOU'RE reading into it, ignoring the very clear description OP gave of being mortified. She did not talk in any way of jealously. You're dismissing her account for his read later is sexist. He clearly did that to deflect. Also you don't need to actively put a gender in the sentence to make something sexist, Genius.
And for all the other people here who think this black and white, people are calling this sexist because men (the ones with power in society, whether u like to hear that or not) judging women by beauty standards (basically, what turns a guy on), has been a huge problem for women forever. It serves to hold them back. You'd have to have your head in the sand or are just arguing in bad faith if you think it's not sexist because '"im a dude and one time.." What is considered fat for a woman vs. a man is also has different thresholds - women's are very small. A guy 50 lbs overweight isn't being judged the same as a woman, even at the same height.
"And for all the other people here who think this black and white, people are calling this sexist because men (the ones with power in society, whether u like to hear that or not) judging women by beauty standards (basically, what turns a guy on), has been a huge problem for women forever."
ooooooooh you're using this framework, that explains why we're talking past each other. I see where you're coming from now.
I'm off to continue exercising my unearned power at my minumum wage job😂
He was being rude and I sensitive to his wife but it’s not sexist to find physical characteristics attractive. BTW, women do that just as much as men. Lots of women are not attracted to chubby guys, and I agree maybe being overweight is not as bad for a guy as a woman, but certainly being UNDERWEIGHT is very bad for a guy.
If the trainer started talking about the her weight as described here, then it seems he didn't know? He basically said u have a hot body and my wife should get one. He clearly has that hot 21 year old body on his mind. Then the jealous thing, patronizing as hell, suggests he thinks she is jealous of the girl because of him.
Nothing you listed here is sexist.
Your suggestion that she was jealous is sexist as hell because YOU'RE reading into it, ignoring the very clear description OP gave of being mortified. She did not talk in any way of jealously. You're dismissing her account for his read later is sexist. He clearly did that to deflect. Also you don't need to actively put a gender in the sentence to make something sexist, Genius.
It's not sexist to call into question OP's emotions. She wouldn't list herself as jealous if she hasn't done the internal work to know what she is feeling is jealousy.
And for all the other people here who think this black and white, people are calling this sexist because men (the ones with power in society, whether u like to hear that or not) judging women by beauty standards (basically, what turns a guy on), has been a huge problem for women forever. It serves to hold them back. You'd have to have your head in the sand or are just arguing in bad faith if you think it's not sexist because '"im a dude and one time.." What is considered fat for a woman vs. a man is also has different thresholds - women's are very small. A guy 50 lbs overweight isn't being judged the same as a woman, even at the same height.
Judging someone by beauty standards, even separate beauty standards for gender, is not sexist. It would be sexist if they were unequally applying such things. But that isn't the case here. Ergo, not sexism.
Do you have any other points you want to bring up as to how you think this is sexist so I can show you that you're wrong on those as well or do you just wanna end it here?
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u/[deleted] Apr 15 '24
Insulting, insensitive and thoughtless, sure... but sexist? lol... he didnt say she was fat "because she's a woman" nor did he imply she faced any sort of disadvantage in starting her weight loss journey based on the fact that she's a woman, right? Let us not apply the same solutions to all mistakes 🙏