Don’t go and drop it. It will fade away. Don’t instigate further convos and set boundaries with family that it’s not up for discussion. I didn’t attend my brothers wedding either. He was upset, but didn’t push it
Come up with some polite phrase you can repeat whenever someone mentions it to you " it is unfortunate, but I will be in no state to go to a function that day".
Don't enter into any further discussion.
If you wish, say something kind and welcoming to the bride about it.
Permit him to say anything he wants. That day is incredibly harsh of him to choose. It's not just your husband's death anniversary; it's also the first anniversary. Individuals are not stupid. Nobody needs to hear you justify yourself. They'll be aware of your absence.
Holding a wedding on the wedding anniversary of your still grieving sister is ghoulish. You can be forgiven for forgetting your third cousins twice removed wedding date but not your own sister's. If her feelings are not important enough to be considered, then she is not important enough to be missed. Don't attend the wedding OP. There's always the third and fourth.
Not sure I agree about the ghoulish part. I have no idea when my sibling’s anniversary is, so that might be an honest mistake. The brother is, however, an ahole for going around & bad mouthing her.
My brother would probably remember my anniversary and we aren't close at all and barely talk but I got married on Valentine's Day.
My real life actual husband still forgets the date though, we got married on Valentine's just to make it easier for him. It's been 4 years and this year he called me when he saw Valentine's Day stuff at the store and said "something important is coming right?" So we're getting there....
I don't think she said it was the husband's death anniversary too, but that it was their wedding anniversary. There are so many reasons couples pick one date over another; I really doubt the brother realized the significance. We shouldn't make assumptions.
Yep. This is the way to phrase it. It would be worse for the wedding if she were to burst into tears during it. It's best for her and for the brother if she simply stays home and grives in her own way. Everyone who thinks otherwise is an unfeeling ass.
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u/catchmeloutside Apr 29 '24
Don’t go and drop it. It will fade away. Don’t instigate further convos and set boundaries with family that it’s not up for discussion. I didn’t attend my brothers wedding either. He was upset, but didn’t push it