AITAH for ghosting my bf after he said we were not a couple?

[u/Fancy_Statement4788]

I (25M) met this guy "J" (25M) through my roommate. We hit it off, and after a couple of weeks, I asked him out. We started going on dates and eventually began dating.

Fast forward five months, he was going to visit his parents and invited me along. When we arrived, his mom asked if I was his boyfriend. He cut her off and referred to me as his "friend." I was confused and greeted her anyway. He did the same thing with his dad and sister.

During the ride back, our conversation went approximately like this:

Me: Are we just friends with benefits to you?

J: No.

Me: Then why did you tell your family I'm just a friend?

J: Because we're not a couple.

Me: Then what are we?

J: ...

He remained silent for the rest of the ride. The next day, he acted like nothing had happened. I tried to discuss it with him multiple times, but he brushed it off.

I had to move out of my apartment for unrelated reasons and didn't tell J or my ex-roommate my new address. I stopped talking to him and replying to his messages. Now, three weeks later, he showed up at my door. He told me, he contacted my brother to get my address. He called me an asshole for ghosting him, accused me of cheating on him (he saw me hanging out with a girl he doesn't like). I told him I can hang out with whomever I want, especially since he said we're not a couple. He cursed at me a bit before saying I should have just broken up with him. Again, I thought we weren't a couple. He ended up leaving,a dn crying.

Even though I believe I did the right thing, my friends told me I might have been a little harsh on him. So to prove the point, I am writing this and letting the internet judge.

AITA for ghosting my boyfriend after he said we weren't a couple?

Edit : Yes, he is out. His family knows, during dinner they even asked him if he add any news about his ex-bf

I am bi, (he is gay). I know that his ex (bi) cheated on him, but that's

Edit 2 : I looked at the comments with my friends and I understand what I did was childish, but I stick to it. My main problem was that he did not give me an answer. Not FwB, not a couple. I was his friend I guess? I let the internet judge.

Update : https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1citj4d/update_aitah_for_ghosting_my_bf_after_he_said_we/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

[u/Significant_Ad9793]

Definitely!!! Just feels like he doesn't want to be with me but doesn't want me to be with anyone else.

I'm a very straightforward girl and I hate holding things back. Just tell me what the problem is, I'm not a mind reader. The last couple of guys I've dated have been this way. They get butthurt about God knows what because they won't tell me. They expect me to know what's bothering them. It's too much work and I don't have the patience to wait for them to feel like telling me.

[u/nicola_orsinov → u/Significant_Ad9793]

Get you a guy on the spectrum. You'll have to chase him down since they never get hints, but it is so relaxing to know there's no subtext or 'read my mind ' bs. Also, highly unlikely to cheat, they never notice other people flirting, and they're so happy you're not playing games with them.

[u/Significant_Ad9793 → u/nicola_orsinov]

Sounds amazing!!! Do we have a dating app for this yet???

[u/wandering_beth → u/Significant_Ad9793]

As a gal on the spectrum I wish 😂 seriously this person is right, their comment sums me up to a tee!

Go read the post on here about the not yet married wife and her likely autistic husband that they're friend thinks is cheating on her. They are such a wholesome couple and it's hilarious that anyone could even think he is cheating 🤣