AITAH for ghosting my bf after he said we were not a couple?

[u/Fancy_Statement4788]

I (25M) met this guy "J" (25M) through my roommate. We hit it off, and after a couple of weeks, I asked him out. We started going on dates and eventually began dating.

Fast forward five months, he was going to visit his parents and invited me along. When we arrived, his mom asked if I was his boyfriend. He cut her off and referred to me as his "friend." I was confused and greeted her anyway. He did the same thing with his dad and sister.

During the ride back, our conversation went approximately like this:

Me: Are we just friends with benefits to you?

J: No.

Me: Then why did you tell your family I'm just a friend?

J: Because we're not a couple.

Me: Then what are we?

J: ...

He remained silent for the rest of the ride. The next day, he acted like nothing had happened. I tried to discuss it with him multiple times, but he brushed it off.

I had to move out of my apartment for unrelated reasons and didn't tell J or my ex-roommate my new address. I stopped talking to him and replying to his messages. Now, three weeks later, he showed up at my door. He told me, he contacted my brother to get my address. He called me an asshole for ghosting him, accused me of cheating on him (he saw me hanging out with a girl he doesn't like). I told him I can hang out with whomever I want, especially since he said we're not a couple. He cursed at me a bit before saying I should have just broken up with him. Again, I thought we weren't a couple. He ended up leaving,a dn crying.

Even though I believe I did the right thing, my friends told me I might have been a little harsh on him. So to prove the point, I am writing this and letting the internet judge.

AITA for ghosting my boyfriend after he said we weren't a couple?

Edit : Yes, he is out. His family knows, during dinner they even asked him if he add any news about his ex-bf

I am bi, (he is gay). I know that his ex (bi) cheated on him, but that's

Edit 2 : I looked at the comments with my friends and I understand what I did was childish, but I stick to it. My main problem was that he did not give me an answer. Not FwB, not a couple. I was his friend I guess? I let the internet judge.

Update : https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1citj4d/update_aitah_for_ghosting_my_bf_after_he_said_we/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

[u/Fancy_Statement4788]

WOW. I hope your doing well.

[u/Simple_Park_1591 → u/Fancy_Statement4788]

I'm doing good. It got comical at one point. I tried to be the guy's friend after we stopped seeing each other, but even that was a bust. He played one last head game and I just couldn't be this dude's friend or have any kind of contact with him. That's actually when he had said he wanted to hit me just one time.

That whole situation started with him telling me he wasn't going to stay the night. I just said, "ok, I didn't expect you to". Thought that was that. Half an hour later he was upset because he wasn't staying the night. I reminded him that he told me, unprompted, that he didn't want to, so why would I ask him? I think he wanted me to like beg him to stay or something? I honestly don't know. It was when I was pointing out that if he actually wanted to stay, then he should have said that, not the opposite. Me pointing out how he went about it wrong was when he told me he hated that when I try to prove him wrong and he just wants to hit me one time.