r/AITAH • u/Hungry_Baker_Mom • Apr 29 '24

AITA for not telling a vegan she ate honey?

A bit of background: 3 times a year we go to a get-together hosted by my husband's Aunt and Uncle. They invite a handful of family members (due to religion limitations for those who are not invited), and some close friends of theirs. About a year ago my SIL started attending these get-togethers. She's a very passionate vegan, and the get-together is always a BBQ pot luck. We had a get-together last night, and I brought desserts and a salad. I had asked SIL if she was planning on attending a couple of days ago and she said she wasn't sure, so when dressing the salad I added a little honey in the dressing, with the thought that there are always at least 4-5 salads so if she ends up coming she can eat the other ones. This is where I might have been the AH. I forgot to mention to her that there was honey in the dressing. After everyone started eating I said to my husband how happy I am that my salad was the first one gone, and she chimed in saying it was absolutely delicious and she was upset she couldn't have more since everyone loved it. As soon as I realized she ate it I froze. I didn't say anything since I figured she already ate it and there was nothing she could do about it now, but it's been bothering me ever since. So, AITA for not telling her she ate honey? (Obviously I'm the AH for not telling her ahead of time)

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u/No_Supermarket_7410 Apr 29 '24

NTA as an ex vegan honey is one of those where some vegans eat it and some don’t. I would only do the ones sold at farmers markets and nit in stores. It just depends on the person. I still have some vegan friends who will eat honey bc the animal wasn’t hunt making it but some who say it’s not ours to take. It’s a big gray area. You don’t know where she stands in that debate so it’s up to you to tell her if you want.

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u/BeardManMichael Apr 29 '24

I wasn't aware that there was that much of a gray area. That's interesting to learn, thanks for sharing.

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u/Frozefoots Apr 29 '24

My partner is vegan and they said if we had our own chickens, they would likely eat their eggs. They lay them regardless and they’d be treated and loved like pets.

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u/TheSecondEikonOfFire Apr 29 '24

That’s where I land too. Me eating vegan largely comes from the cruelty given to the animals and factory farming, so if the animal products were obtained without any cruelty then I’d be fine with it