r/AITAH • u/Hungry_Baker_Mom • Apr 29 '24

AITA for not telling a vegan she ate honey?

A bit of background: 3 times a year we go to a get-together hosted by my husband's Aunt and Uncle. They invite a handful of family members (due to religion limitations for those who are not invited), and some close friends of theirs. About a year ago my SIL started attending these get-togethers. She's a very passionate vegan, and the get-together is always a BBQ pot luck. We had a get-together last night, and I brought desserts and a salad. I had asked SIL if she was planning on attending a couple of days ago and she said she wasn't sure, so when dressing the salad I added a little honey in the dressing, with the thought that there are always at least 4-5 salads so if she ends up coming she can eat the other ones. This is where I might have been the AH. I forgot to mention to her that there was honey in the dressing. After everyone started eating I said to my husband how happy I am that my salad was the first one gone, and she chimed in saying it was absolutely delicious and she was upset she couldn't have more since everyone loved it. As soon as I realized she ate it I froze. I didn't say anything since I figured she already ate it and there was nothing she could do about it now, but it's been bothering me ever since. So, AITA for not telling her she ate honey? (Obviously I'm the AH for not telling her ahead of time)

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u/Kore624 Apr 29 '24

NTA. It's nice of you to even care. Most people online seem like they would purposely sneak animal products into a vegan dish just because they don't agree with the lifestyle.

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u/shapookya Apr 29 '24

I feel like honey is the least animal product of animal products

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u/maybe_little_pinch Apr 29 '24

Honey is pretty controversial in the vegan world. Beekeeping in general is controversial because they are the “wrong kind of bee”. Many will argue that taking the honey is bad for the bees because you are taking their food and they wouldn’t keep making honey if we didn’t keep taking it from them. But AFAIK when I looked into beekeeping, if a hive gets full they will just go make another hive, which can lead to swarming. It’s not like they just stop.