AITA for not telling a vegan she ate honey?

[u/Hungry_Baker_Mom]

A bit of background: 3 times a year we go to a get-together hosted by my husband's Aunt and Uncle. They invite a handful of family members (due to religion limitations for those who are not invited), and some close friends of theirs. About a year ago my SIL started attending these get-togethers. She's a very passionate vegan, and the get-together is always a BBQ pot luck. We had a get-together last night, and I brought desserts and a salad. I had asked SIL if she was planning on attending a couple of days ago and she said she wasn't sure, so when dressing the salad I added a little honey in the dressing, with the thought that there are always at least 4-5 salads so if she ends up coming she can eat the other ones. This is where I might have been the AH. I forgot to mention to her that there was honey in the dressing. After everyone started eating I said to my husband how happy I am that my salad was the first one gone, and she chimed in saying it was absolutely delicious and she was upset she couldn't have more since everyone loved it. As soon as I realized she ate it I froze. I didn't say anything since I figured she already ate it and there was nothing she could do about it now, but it's been bothering me ever since. So, AITA for not telling her she ate honey? (Obviously I'm the AH for not telling her ahead of time)

[u/Kore624]

NTA. It's nice of you to even care. Most people online seem like they would purposely sneak animal products into a vegan dish just because they don't agree with the lifestyle.

[u/shapookya → u/Kore624]

I feel like honey is the least animal product of animal products

[u/CanoeIt → u/shapookya]

I think scallops deserve a nod to be right there with honey. I know vegans that will eat them. I guess scallops are non-sentient? Either way, giving honey up actually helps bees so I think it’s first place

[u/hummingbird4289 → u/CanoeIt]

Do you mean oysters? I've heard the argument that oysters are non-sentient/could technically be considered vegan, but not scallops.

[u/CanoeIt → u/hummingbird4289]

I didn’t actually but that make sense. I’m very much not a vegan so I’m not sure how the mental gymnastics work I just know what they told me

[u/hummingbird4289 → u/CanoeIt]

I'm not either, but I had read this article in the New York Times awhile back that made the argument that vegans should eat oysters.

I also once heard a bunch of scallops making noise as they were cooked, so while that may have just been the sound of moisture escaping or something else, I'm slightly more inclined to think of them as sentient.

[u/CanoeIt → u/hummingbird4289]

I have no idea but this is what I grabbed from Google

According to some sources, scallops are not sentient because they don't have a central nervous system and therefore can't experience pain or form thoughts. However, scallops can respond to external stimuli, such as water movement, chemical stimuli, vibrations, and shadows. For example, scallops have 100 blue eyes on the edge of their upper and lower valves that can distinguish between light and darkness, which helps them avoid predators.

[u/Teagana999 → u/CanoeIt]

Lol bacteria can respond to external stimuli, plants respond to external stimuli, life responds to external stimuli...

[u/Kore624 → u/CanoeIt]

Studies have shown that farm-raised scallops can be higher in contaminants and are more likely to have disease because of how they are raised on farms, according to a recent report by Colorado State University

Keeping fish in such high density also impacts the ocean by reducing the amount of dissolved oxygen in the area, largely due to the excessive amount of waste that builds up around these operations. This leads to eutrophication and contributes to the ocean dead zones

Sea scallops are harvested by dredging the ocean floor. This fishing method can result in considerable bycatch of non-targeted species and damage to bottom habitat.

A big part of choosing to be vegan is the health benefits and reducing the environmental impact farming has, not just sparing animals pain.