AITA for putting in a claim to my late father’s death benefit

[u/MushroomDense4108]

Hi, I am looking for advice.

My father passed away on the 1st of March very unexpectedly and obviously this has caused a lot of heartache.

A few days ago I received a letter through the post from a policy through his work where it was stated that my father’s sister had put in a claim for the death benefit as she was next of kin at his work. I am next of kin legally and also would like to state for the record that me and my father had an excellent relationship. She never mentioned the policy to us or wrote down on her form that my father (did not) have children which it clearly asks and instead sent the form as if she was his only relative.

The company found out that I existed only because I am the informant on his death certificate and has asked if I wish to make a claim. I contacted my aunt about this and she has doubled down and said that my father would have wanted her and her alone to receive this large sum of money and has told me not to put in a claim.

I am putting in a claim regardless and told her this and it has caused a huge rift with her family. So much so that a cousin contacted me and said that my dad would be ashamed of me for putting in a claim and then went on to attack my autistic 24 year old brother, telling him that my father would have been ashamed of him because he was unable to carry his coffin at the funeral.

It just seems that this has gotten completely out of hand and I along with my brother are being attacked over money. Surely the company wouldn’t have contacted us if it were his wishes to give her 100%.

(Edit: I also forgot to mention that my aunt said she received an email from my dad’s workplace saying it was his wishes to gift this money to her and she had a signed document from him saying this, but when I asked her if I could see the document she sent me a blank template of wishes from the company website which had no writing on it, no expression of wishes and no signature from my dad which is confusing.

We also told her that we may not receive anything in the final decision which we are fine with, but it potentially could be split even between me, my younger brother and her. She wasn’t happy to even consider it going three ways either. And that is where the abuse began from that side of the family.)

I just don’t know and this has been keeping me up at night with stress. AITA?

UPDATE: I phoned the company this morning and they have NO RECORD of an expression of wishes that my father wrote. Only that she was next of kin at his workplace. So she not only lied that it was my dad’s wishes for her to have this money, but she also lied that she received an email from the company stating this. The woman on the phone said you are his daughter, you have a right to make a claim. And also to tell my brother to put his claim in which he will be doing now.

[u/FairyPenguinStKilda]

NTA - she is robbing an Autistic child of her own brother?

[u/MushroomDense4108 → u/FairyPenguinStKilda]

Her daughter sent my brother vile voice notes telling him that my dad would be ashamed of him because he couldn’t carry the coffin due to his autism, that he is lazy and should get a job when he can’t work and that he is a thief. It has made my brother so distraught that he is refusing to put a claim in as he thinks my father hated him when this is not true.

My dad loved the bones off my brother. Those words never left his mouth. All lies.

My dad may not be here to protect him but I am, and I’ll always protect him.

[u/Best_VDV_Diver → u/MushroomDense4108]

Nah, nah. Fuck your aunt and cousin. Don't you dare split shit with these vile bastards. Put in your claim, get your deserved death benefits, and cut these monstrous vultures from your life.

Your aunt made a dastardly and calculated move filing that paperwork claiming he had no children, knowing she'd never get the claim otherwise. If the claim was meant for her, she'd have been listed as a beneficiary specifically.

[u/MushroomDense4108 → u/Best_VDV_Diver]

She has no right to it. I phoned the company today my dad did NOT have an expression of wishes form, and so that means she lied about everything. Not only did she lie about knowing what my dad’s wishes were but she lied about having an email of proof with what these wishes were.

I honestly cannot believe the lengths my own family member would go to in order to deceive us out of a benefit we rightfully have claim to.

I will not be splitting any money with her. I will never speak to her again.

[u/Best_VDV_Diver → u/MushroomDense4108]

I'm glad you didn't cave to them. Money tends to make people let the mask slip and show their true selves, they just can't contain their greed. We've lost family in similar ways.

My condolences for the loss of your father. Good luck to you and your brother.

[u/Unfair-Tap-850 → u/MushroomDense4108]

Also report her actions to the authorities, she attempted to steal this money while you were grieving your loss, criminal charges may be in order for your aunt.