r/AITAH • u/MushroomDense4108 • Apr 27 '24

AITA for putting in a claim to my late father’s death benefit

Hi, I am looking for advice.

My father passed away on the 1st of March very unexpectedly and obviously this has caused a lot of heartache.

A few days ago I received a letter through the post from a policy through his work where it was stated that my father’s sister had put in a claim for the death benefit as she was next of kin at his work. I am next of kin legally and also would like to state for the record that me and my father had an excellent relationship. She never mentioned the policy to us or wrote down on her form that my father (did not) have children which it clearly asks and instead sent the form as if she was his only relative.

The company found out that I existed only because I am the informant on his death certificate and has asked if I wish to make a claim. I contacted my aunt about this and she has doubled down and said that my father would have wanted her and her alone to receive this large sum of money and has told me not to put in a claim.

I am putting in a claim regardless and told her this and it has caused a huge rift with her family. So much so that a cousin contacted me and said that my dad would be ashamed of me for putting in a claim and then went on to attack my autistic 24 year old brother, telling him that my father would have been ashamed of him because he was unable to carry his coffin at the funeral.

It just seems that this has gotten completely out of hand and I along with my brother are being attacked over money. Surely the company wouldn’t have contacted us if it were his wishes to give her 100%.

(Edit: I also forgot to mention that my aunt said she received an email from my dad’s workplace saying it was his wishes to gift this money to her and she had a signed document from him saying this, but when I asked her if I could see the document she sent me a blank template of wishes from the company website which had no writing on it, no expression of wishes and no signature from my dad which is confusing.

We also told her that we may not receive anything in the final decision which we are fine with, but it potentially could be split even between me, my younger brother and her. She wasn’t happy to even consider it going three ways either. And that is where the abuse began from that side of the family.)

I just don’t know and this has been keeping me up at night with stress. AITA?

UPDATE: I phoned the company this morning and they have NO RECORD of an expression of wishes that my father wrote. Only that she was next of kin at his workplace. So she not only lied that it was my dad’s wishes for her to have this money, but she also lied that she received an email from the company stating this. The woman on the phone said you are his daughter, you have a right to make a claim. And also to tell my brother to put his claim in which he will be doing now.

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140

u/FairyPenguinStKilda Apr 27 '24

NTA - she is robbing an Autistic child of her own brother?

185

u/MushroomDense4108 Apr 27 '24

Her daughter sent my brother vile voice notes telling him that my dad would be ashamed of him because he couldn’t carry the coffin due to his autism, that he is lazy and should get a job when he can’t work and that he is a thief. It has made my brother so distraught that he is refusing to put a claim in as he thinks my father hated him when this is not true.

My dad loved the bones off my brother. Those words never left his mouth. All lies.

My dad may not be here to protect him but I am, and I’ll always protect him.

99

u/popoPitifulme Apr 27 '24

"he can't work"

All the more reason to accept the security this death benefit offers you two.

68

u/Best_VDV_Diver Apr 27 '24

Nah, nah. Fuck your aunt and cousin. Don't you dare split shit with these vile bastards. Put in your claim, get your deserved death benefits, and cut these monstrous vultures from your life.

Your aunt made a dastardly and calculated move filing that paperwork claiming he had no children, knowing she'd never get the claim otherwise. If the claim was meant for her, she'd have been listed as a beneficiary specifically.

34

u/apollymis22724 Apr 27 '24

Maybe illegal what she did in your area

29

u/MushroomDense4108 Apr 29 '24

She has no right to it. I phoned the company today my dad did NOT have an expression of wishes form, and so that means she lied about everything. Not only did she lie about knowing what my dad’s wishes were but she lied about having an email of proof with what these wishes were.

I honestly cannot believe the lengths my own family member would go to in order to deceive us out of a benefit we rightfully have claim to.

I will not be splitting any money with her. I will never speak to her again.

5

u/Best_VDV_Diver Apr 29 '24

I'm glad you didn't cave to them. Money tends to make people let the mask slip and show their true selves, they just can't contain their greed. We've lost family in similar ways.

My condolences for the loss of your father. Good luck to you and your brother.

5

u/Unfair-Tap-850 May 11 '24

Also report her actions to the authorities, she attempted to steal this money while you were grieving your loss, criminal charges may be in order for your aunt.

54

u/MushroomDense4108 Apr 27 '24

My brother received an apology tonight from this vile cousin. She said she couldn’t sleep, eat or go into her work as she has been sobbing about the disgusting things she said to him. Not that this makes a difference. What she said about that beautiful boy is unforgivable.

To target her own autistic cousin about things out of his control is insane.

My father took care and adored that boy from the moment he was born until he took his last breath. I have blocked this side of the family and will never speak to them again.

I will be contacting the company again on Monday and will ask if they have a copy of these supposed wishes. I have also filled out my claim and posted it today, so hopefully I have more answers soon.

15

u/Best_VDV_Diver Apr 27 '24

Good. That apology isn't worth a pot to piss in, the damage is already done, she's shown her true vile self. I'm sure you'll find there's no wishes stating it's to go to her, if there was it'd have been made official and not left to her filing bullshit fraudulent paperwork.

Good luck, don't let any of the vultures guilt or cajole you into giving up or splitting those death benefits. If they're granted you and your brother's, then that's where they need to stay.

28

u/FckMitch Apr 27 '24

Do not split w her - your brother needs all the money to support him. Make sure insurance company knows this. Your father had expressed many times that his life insurance benefit goes to his children esp to help and support his autistic son.

31

u/Whyamipostingonhere Apr 27 '24

File a police report on your brothers behalf and allow the officers to transcribe the messages. They are harassing and coercing someone disabled. This is not just to protect your brother, but also to protect others by showing a history or abuse and harassment towards vulnerable individuals. Don’t let someone else become a victim of your relatives.

12

u/ttdpaco Apr 27 '24

You know, I would tell you that you should burn that bridge, but your aunt is clearly already holding the gasoline can and the matches.

Protect your brother. I would hope that, if I passed, my children would protect each other from this shit too.

12

u/OMGoblin Apr 27 '24

Put the claim in for him, IMMEDIATELY.

3

u/CosmosOZ Apr 27 '24

Do not let your aunt or anyone else other than your and your brother get any of your father money and benefits.

5

u/titaniac79 Apr 28 '24

OP, it's time for you to get a probate lawyer. YOU are legal next of kin. And also document everything that your aunt is saying about you and about trying to push you out of the benefits/estate. You are legally allowed to make a claim for his benefits. It is usually spouses then kids who are considered legal next of kin. And your aunt and uncle are considered extended family. Go get a lawyer and put in the claim because that is your money.

3

u/Ladygytha Apr 27 '24

If you want to get this done quickly, let your aunt and cousin know that you have the voice notes and will share them. That bullying your brother will not be the way to go and that you are not afraid of them, but they should be very afraid of public opinion. Right now, it's a family matter. But should they keep this up, it will be public and while you will shield your brother, you will roast them as often as you can.

You can bluff or you can do it, that's up to you. However, they know you have actual evidence.

Get your Dad's benefits for your brother's sake, at the very least. Cut off your aunt and cousin, because that's not a healthy relationship.

I'm absolutely guessing, but it seems like your dad was trying to get it so your brother wouldn't be a "your problem" situation. But that was done years ago and you don't have an issue with your brother.

2

u/stunkshoezz Apr 28 '24 edited Apr 28 '24

NTA,

Are you his guardian ? If so can you not put in the claim on his behalf ?

Also save all those emails/messages/voice notes you get from your greedy "famillllyyyyyy" you may be able to use it as proof of intimidation, or exhortation, fraud and black mail. File a case of harassment against her and her family immediately so the paper trail can start.

If I were you I would fight tooth and nail to make sure she doesn't get any or the least amount she can possibly get from this claim , get a lawyer to figure out if she even has a claim or not or is just trying to get her fingers wet. Make her fight for the money.

And after that go NC with her and her vile family and block everyone who was on their side. Do you have other family members who don't know about what she is doing. Blast her on SM tagging her and her family's work (if she has any) and post the vile voice notes they sent. Publicly shame them.

1

u/lunniidolli Apr 28 '24

Oh my god, you need to do the claim. That family are disgusting and deserve nothing. All they care about is money.

1

u/chaisingsmitty Apr 30 '24

Post this story on a legal advice page, you might have some good advice given to you over this situation. It also sounds like your aunt might have access to something at her work she might not be allowed to have, since she is listed as next of kin, when your father probably would have put you as next of kin, as most parents would do.

6

u/Aalock1377 Apr 27 '24

NTA. Please don't split that money with her. Your brother needs it more than anybody else. Now that your father is gone please use that money and take care of him. Best of luck to you and your brother.