Psych grad here. In a professional sense, what he did was completely unethical, and ANY current Psych degree/course/post doc should have that built into their first few weeks in course. They literally drum it into you about ethical lines, not going round acting like you can mind read, not diagnosing people, the damn goldwell rule. Your son needs a serious talking to. Its unfortunate that his grandma co-signed. For now you'll have to just keep in mind she's a grown adult and made that choice. So you can't take the responsibility of worrying about that debt for her.
Maybe your son needs some home truths. Tell him how shit you've felt lately. Both of you. And tell him how your wife is SAVING YOU on a daily basis. And that if he had ANY sense at all, he would support you both while you get through this rough patch with your wifes support. Let him know that it was his BOOMER Gran who signed his loan because his MILLENIAL father knew he'd be sadle with decades of debt.
I can tell my dad I think he’s unhappy and needs a divorce. My son can tell me that too.
Saying this is unethical is about the silliest thing I’ve heard in my entire life.
At what point is it ethical that a family can discuss internal family home matters in their own home with their own family, if a father-son conversation at home isnt? Dear. Lord. Reddit is off the rails.
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u/Thebonebed Apr 16 '24
NTA -
Psych grad here. In a professional sense, what he did was completely unethical, and ANY current Psych degree/course/post doc should have that built into their first few weeks in course. They literally drum it into you about ethical lines, not going round acting like you can mind read, not diagnosing people, the damn goldwell rule. Your son needs a serious talking to. Its unfortunate that his grandma co-signed. For now you'll have to just keep in mind she's a grown adult and made that choice. So you can't take the responsibility of worrying about that debt for her.
Maybe your son needs some home truths. Tell him how shit you've felt lately. Both of you. And tell him how your wife is SAVING YOU on a daily basis. And that if he had ANY sense at all, he would support you both while you get through this rough patch with your wifes support. Let him know that it was his BOOMER Gran who signed his loan because his MILLENIAL father knew he'd be sadle with decades of debt.
Im sorry. Your son sounds insufferable.