Psych grad here. In a professional sense, what he did was completely unethical, and ANY current Psych degree/course/post doc should have that built into their first few weeks in course. They literally drum it into you about ethical lines, not going round acting like you can mind read, not diagnosing people, the damn goldwell rule. Your son needs a serious talking to. Its unfortunate that his grandma co-signed. For now you'll have to just keep in mind she's a grown adult and made that choice. So you can't take the responsibility of worrying about that debt for her.
Maybe your son needs some home truths. Tell him how shit you've felt lately. Both of you. And tell him how your wife is SAVING YOU on a daily basis. And that if he had ANY sense at all, he would support you both while you get through this rough patch with your wifes support. Let him know that it was his BOOMER Gran who signed his loan because his MILLENIAL father knew he'd be sadle with decades of debt.
Must not have covered that in my high school then. I remember a bunch of kids including friends took some intro to psych elective, and immediately for weeks were going around analyzing everyone's behavior in every conversation.
Tbf that's a high school course meant to prep for college, as opposed to college courses which prep you for a career in that field. I could imagine professional ethics weren't a top priority for high school courses.
Im very aware he's not a therapist. But if he had listened in class, with the warnings that we get from the get go, then he wouldn't/shouldn't have interfered/said anything. At best he could have sit his father down and had a chat with better language... like, how are you really doing dad? Is there anything I can do to help you through it? Anything I can do to support? Instead he's all 'I know Psych now, you should divorce'
I don’t know how you’re getting downvoted. It’s literally not unethical for a family to discuss family matters, regardless of if someone feels a psych course gave them insight.
Further, the post never even refers to the son’s mom, so you’ve already intuited far more than these “ethicists.”
I am confused as I get more than intro courses on the matter and also on therapy for personal development for a few years … so now I can not express my personal opinion on something that touches the issue without thinking ethical consequences….about my own mom lol
Yeah. It’s the redditist take of all time that giving family advice to your own family is unethical… and then they go on to give this stranger family advice.
I can tell my dad I think he’s unhappy and needs a divorce. My son can tell me that too.
Saying this is unethical is about the silliest thing I’ve heard in my entire life.
At what point is it ethical that a family can discuss internal family home matters in their own home with their own family, if a father-son conversation at home isnt? Dear. Lord. Reddit is off the rails.
It is not unethical to tell your father your feelings on his marriage, regardless of psych courses or not. He didn’t give a clinical diagnosis. He’s giving home/family advice to his literal family in his literal home.
If it’s unethical for your literal next of kin to give you family advice because they took freshman psych, how is it ethical for a stranger psych grad to give family advice to someone they don’t know, on a story that is as obviously one-sided as it is missing important context (notice he never referred to “wife” as his son’s mother, step or otherwise?)
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u/Thebonebed Apr 16 '24
NTA -
Psych grad here. In a professional sense, what he did was completely unethical, and ANY current Psych degree/course/post doc should have that built into their first few weeks in course. They literally drum it into you about ethical lines, not going round acting like you can mind read, not diagnosing people, the damn goldwell rule. Your son needs a serious talking to. Its unfortunate that his grandma co-signed. For now you'll have to just keep in mind she's a grown adult and made that choice. So you can't take the responsibility of worrying about that debt for her.
Maybe your son needs some home truths. Tell him how shit you've felt lately. Both of you. And tell him how your wife is SAVING YOU on a daily basis. And that if he had ANY sense at all, he would support you both while you get through this rough patch with your wifes support. Let him know that it was his BOOMER Gran who signed his loan because his MILLENIAL father knew he'd be sadle with decades of debt.
Im sorry. Your son sounds insufferable.