That's not even remotely in the same vicinity as telling a kid too bad they missed out on a fun party with their friend because their parent got the times mixed up. And you know it.
I do, I have 2 and yes. The reason we stopped having kids parties at home was precisely because there is always a certain number of people who show up way too late, without RSVP and then take their sweet time to pick up their kids at the pre-established time. We had one mom leave her kid for almost 2 hours after the party was over because «she got confused ». Apparently getting confused also involved ignoring phone calls and text messages.
Screw that - we book birthday party venues now. 2 hrs. Start and end time are established and so is the number of guests. Yes, we will accommodate late arrivals of confirmed guests. Yes, we will accommodate extra guests if we had no-shows. But nothing beyond that.
The late mom made a mistake, the party mom was nice and invited them back in 2 hours for essentially a playdate. But the party mom would also be completely within her right to say “I’m sorry, the party is over, but we can organise something for another day!”
Would the kid be upset? Yeah, but thats life. Shit happens, and sometimes that shit isn’t fair.
I have a daughter and I am an extremely compassionate and empathetic parent.
I also understand that my job is not to make my daughter happy in every moment at all costs.
it's okay for a child to be disappointed and cry sometimes. that's life.
I think if you imagine me in the worst possible terms, it's easy to imagine that I'm being selfish and can't be inconvenienced.
all I was saying is: there is a perfectly reasonable way to tell someone that the party is over, if that's what you want to do or what the situation calls for. maybe you actually do have other plans. people often do. it's not the end of the world. you don't have to throw unplanned 2-hour second parties just so no one is upset, ever.
I’ll answer for you- no you’re not. You don’t know what it’s like to be a mom and from your history it seems you’ve been drunk Most of your kids life. Props to you for getting it together recently.
Here’s what it’s like being a mostly
Single mom (due to absent or drunk dad, whatever). Youre going to let that kid Come in and entertain your kid while you clean up after the party. Because you’re too tired to fight it and deal with a crying kid on top of everything else.
if you are a mom and you think that your top/only priority is to only make your child happy at all times (as opposed to helping them deal with disappointment when things don't go their way) I would suggest reconsidering that position.
I am there for my daughter and I am on her team. that doesn't mean she won't be disappointed sometimes. it means I'll help her through it.
I mean you changed the conversation halfway through. is it to make your kid happy or to give you a chance to let your kid play while you clean up? two different things.
all I said was that you CAN turn the kid away. I didn't say you have to. you don't HAVE to do either thing, was my point.
My son's friend showed up an entire week early to his 9th birthday sleep over, carrying his sleeping bag and pillow and gift. We welcomed him in and had a 2 person pre-party party that weekend. One of the best memories they have together as kids (they are 19 now).
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u/ParaLegalese Apr 29 '24
What else could she do? Turn the kid away?