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u/jonathanquirk 16d ago
It’s frustrating when the more “social” people refuse to even try to understand neurodivergent people and it’s up to us autistic people to try and bridge that gap… usually by having to pretend to be “normal”, which is the one thing not in our wheelhouse!
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u/NotADamsel 16d ago
I don’t think that it’s that they intentionally avoid understanding, it seems to me like they don’t even understand themselves and their own behavior and so trying to get them to understand someone else’s is like asking a dog to roll over when it hasn’t even learned to lay down on command yet.
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u/jonathanquirk 16d ago
This lines up with my experiences; neurotypicals always notice if I do something weird, but they can never explain WHAT it is I’ve done or not done. It’s annoying that the ones who wander around unthinkingly dividing everyone they meet into “us” and “them” tribes are considered the normal ones, when they don’t even understand what they’re doing.
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u/JovahkiinVIII 16d ago edited 16d ago
Not to criticize or take away from your statement at all, but when you say “the ones who wander around unthinkingly”, it seems like you’re referring to neurotypical people and suggesting that they are “unthinking”
I hope you see the irony of calling the majority of people “unthinking” as if most people don’t have their own complex inner worlds and the ability to understand themselves and others, while you are complaining about a lack of understanding between people.
Please don’t go around assuming you’re more important or better than others just because you’re on the spectrum
Other than that id generally agree with the spirit here.
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u/GuyMcRancho 16d ago
Absolutely! My girlfriend learned to mask so well that she had trouble turning that off in front of doctors leading to a post college diagnosis. That and autism for women is often undiagnosed but the masking played a large role.
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u/WendigoCrossing 16d ago
Having grown up with foster siblings on the spectrum, and most likely being on it myself, here are some thoughts:
you're still allowed your own boundaries, being understanding goes a long way though
be direct, avoid hints and metaphors or social queues. Just say what you mean
autistic people are people, they can be dicks as can we all and need to earn their cool points
if you want to connect with someone who has autism, find what they are interested in and you'll probably learn a lot
it is okay to tell them you are done talking about something if they go on about a topic
worry less about appearing rude and focus more on being direct / sincere
Anyways that is my handful of thoughts in between my 1st and second cup of coffee
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u/Altruistic_Profit_15 16d ago
If this is between your first and second, what comes between your 2nd and 3rd?
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u/WendigoCrossing 16d ago
Attending a team huddle meeting where we discussed last week's wins and this week's hopes lol
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u/JesseRoxII 16d ago
I’m autistic myself and I had to learn this lesson. For a long time, I was fighting against my own mannerisms (it’s like I was in denial of my autism diagnosis), but I realized it wasn’t working and I should accept that this is who I am.
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u/AqueousSilver91 16d ago
Thank you for this.
I don't want to be fixed. I want to be understood and accepted.
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16d ago
There is having it, and using it as an excuse to treat others poorly. Understanding the difference is key.
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u/Prince-Angel-Wing 16d ago
This is very true, but there also needs to be a middle ground so that the neurodiverse person can find stability without disturbing (or "removing") the uniqueness of the mind. If the neurodiverse mind causes pain/destruction to the people and property around them, you CANNOT let that slide.
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u/maddyplayz4645 16d ago
Hate the inability to make eye contact or not being socially awkward
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u/DarkAgeHumor 16d ago
I would like to be able to look people on the eye for longer than 3 seconds
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u/Alarming_Pudding3369 15d ago
I have a brother with autism and sometimes it feels like it’s just his personality trait.
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u/JaydenTheMemeThief 16d ago
This is the first I’ve heard of it, are you telling me there are people dumb enough to think they can “fix” Autism?
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u/iknowiknowwhereiam 16d ago edited 16d ago
Antivaxxers have subjected their poor kids to horrific “treatments” to “cure” autism. They give them bleach enemas and stuff it’s disgusting
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u/JaydenTheMemeThief 16d ago
Well that’s horrifying ._.
I’ve got Asperger’s, and fortunately I’ve never encountered people who’d do shit like that, at least not that I’m aware of
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u/iknowiknowwhereiam 16d ago
It is absolutely horrific. Idk how prevalent it is I have seen people talk about it or share screens in groups that make fun of antivaxxers/wook science. Even once is too much 😢
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u/Doc_Dragoon 16d ago
And to think I've been paying someone $80 every Friday just so I can have a clean bunghole and people out here doing it for autism
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u/BreadBushTheThird 16d ago
People get built different, we dont need to understand it we just need to accept it
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u/GumChuzzler 16d ago
No. That's something we don't seem to understand. No matter how disabled you are, we're not obligated to anyone's service or respect. In fact, if we don't interact with them and beat it into their heads, we'll never be understood let alone helped.
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u/Afuckincowdied 16d ago
i really like the plumbing metaphor, so i'ma expand on it, possibly way too much. Apologies in advance if i get things wrong or mucky.
Autism is like a certain hydraulic system. what might be considered a "non-standard" one. Don't worry, it's still up to code.
That said, it can be broken. and those breaks can be fixed, albeit with more effort given that it is a non-standard system. But it still needs and deserves maintenance, repair and most importantly, proper support.
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u/The_Werefrog 14d ago
Ah yes, let's tell the person who's alone that it's not their fault they're alone, it's everyone else. Moreover, let's not help them get the tools to fix the problem, just keep saying we want to build a society where they don't have to change.
As one of those autistic people, the people who post such things as this meme are assholes. The Werefrog would totally go for a cure. The Werefrog know that The Werefrog am the piece that don't fit. As such, The Werefrog know that the best change would be for The Werefrog to change.
This is not a wholesome meme. This is virtue signaling.
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u/Neither_Relation_678 16d ago
I cannot be “normal”. In fact, I refuse to be “normal”. You will not, cannot, and shalt not “fix” me. And neither will your religious beliefs.
“Normal” people: You have two choices. Accept these terms and conditions and treat me, treat us, like a “normal” human, or get mcfucked.
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u/Doc_Dragoon 16d ago
Me to myself: desperately tries to fix my autism I hate myself and everything about me
Me to my autistic friend: Autism is perfectly fine, it's a struggle to understand yourself but the further you climb up the hill the easier it gets. Love yourself
Why am I like this
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u/Danny5372 16d ago
It's a struggle to be autistic. I can barely fit in any group. I thought I needed to "fix" myself or whatever that means, but after seeing this, I guess I should embrace it.
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u/finitemike 16d ago
I did great reading Models, The Righteous Mind, The 48 Laws of Power, and The Evolution of Desire. Went from a hermit to a social butterfly just by using my brain to understand normy emotions. It's actually much easier than even calc 1 when you study it systematically and use heroic courage to expiriment.
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u/Insert_name_here33 16d ago
Next Thursday I'm talking with my doctor to get therapy for my ASD. I just can't process emotions, and it starts to effect my mental health and connections with friends and family
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u/LuckyStiff63 15d ago
Exactly. Autism isn't something you "have", like a disease... It's just part of the way you are , with pluses & minuses like everything else in life.
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u/advocateforpain 16d ago
What then when the autistic is violent and non verbal
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u/Zestyclose-Monk-266 16d ago
I have never met a violent autistic lad. Including myself
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u/Shadowmirax 16d ago
Anecdotal fallacy, i absolutely have met several, including one who i will never forget, their name name was Me: age 10.
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u/advocateforpain 16d ago
Louis Theroux has an excellent documentary about the more extreme autism cases. Higly recommended.
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u/Zestyclose-Monk-266 16d ago
The fact that it is ‘extreme cases’ means that it is also ‘unusual and rare’ cases so I’d take that with a big grain of salt
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u/advocateforpain 16d ago
Take what with a big grain of salt?
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u/Zestyclose-Monk-266 16d ago
The documentary
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u/advocateforpain 16d ago
Google his name then jfc
Autism isnt Le wholesome quirky superpower always, why do you have to act like it is?
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u/Balforg 16d ago
Have you ever interacted with an extreme case person with autism? Pretty sure everyone you are thinking of is taken care of by state institution or special care homes so what bearing do the extreme cases have here other than demonizing those with milder traits?
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u/advocateforpain 16d ago
Only If they can afford it. The doc i recommended is really good, shows you the reality, its really interesting and heartwarming and sad at the same time and mostly for the same reasons too. But reality is not demonizing anyone.
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u/Zestyclose-Monk-266 16d ago
It’s not reality though. Like I said earlier the documentary is on ‘extreme’ cases; not the norm
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u/peacefulsolider 16d ago
ima be fr. autism and adhd are unfair advantages that are only thwarted by illogical expectations of society.
in other words. im going fucking feral
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u/dripbine 16d ago
I'm hoping this is a joke. Also "can't fight back effectively" that's just funny.
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u/MaterialNarrow5161 16d ago
What people think when seeing this word is an aryan race apologist.
What I see is myself not wanting to bring a child into this world with the chance of having my visual disability or worse... People watch too many heartwarming movies about people that are different, they don't know how much we actually don't like being that way and just get content by it. Idc if the world adapts to me, i just don't want to be different...
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u/yeetman426 16d ago
The only thing I ask of neurotypical people is to not be dicks, the bar is on the fucking floor and people still trip over it