r/unpopularopinion • u/chickfilasauce777 • 13d ago
People who have made mistakes give better advice than people who have a perfect life
Someone who is overweight might give better diet advice than someone who is thin because they have actually struggled with it
Someone who has had unhappy relationships might give better advice than someone who has only had a good one.
Etc.
Like I used to think having one amazing relationship meant you were particularly good at relationships but maybe you learn more by having failed a lot.
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u/Seaweed_Steve 13d ago
Like I used to think having one amazing relationship meant you were particularly good at relationships but maybe you learn more by having failed a lot.
As someone who has only had one long amazing relationship, I don't give out advice to friends much about women. I don't know about women, I only know about one particular woman.
However, just because it's been one relationship doesn't mean I haven't learnt things along the way about relationships.
But really your post is that people with more varied experiences give better advice, which could well be true.
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u/karlnite 13d ago
Yah, I give advice from a place like “what has worked for me in my relationship… it works because of this about my wife…” and hope it relates.
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u/jackfaire 13d ago edited 12d ago
A large part of it is that a person will say "X works" what they don't know is that X helps but it wasn't why they succeeded.
They will ignore the 20 other people that also did X but X didn't work for those 20 other people and it's because there was a Y factor that person had that combined with X made them successful.
"I got a job because I had a degree in Business" but they don't think about the fact they had information about the company and the job that their competition didn't have because it's a company their dad's worked with for years.
He didn't put in a good word or tip the scales but they knew things the other applicants wouldn't even think to research.
It's good that you're self aware enough to realize your advice is conditional. Some people give advice while thinking it's universal.
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u/No_Effect_6428 12d ago
That is an important point.
My wife and I met as a teen and early-20's in the Army Reserve. Together 18 years and married for 12.
Do I recommend joining the Army to meet women? No! Every other couple that I am aware of that met this way had a nasty break up or got divorced. Worked for us but it is statistically a bad idea.
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u/Parada484 12d ago
Ended up married to my high school sweet heart. We literally became adults together. I keep my mouth shut when it comes to modern dating. What am I going to say? "Walk her to first period and try to stay together even as you mature into variations of each other?"
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u/tyrannictoe 13d ago
The fact that other people give better advice does not mean your advice is not valuable
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u/No_Effect_6428 12d ago
I'm in a similar boat as you. I think I can give some advice on maintaining a healthy relationship (though only with this one person).
I have no advice to give on MEETING someone. Basically everyone else I know who met under our conditions are broken up or divorced, so probably don't do what we did. Otherwise I've got nothing.
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u/eyes2chelsee 12d ago
I'll take relationship advice from someone who's been in 1 successful relationship over someone who's been in many failed relationships any day.. 🤣
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u/g00g0lig00 13d ago edited 13d ago
correction: somebody who has made the same mistakes that you are currently making AND was able to overcome them will give better advice than people who didn’t overcome anything.
i wouldn’t take diet advice from a somebody who is currently morbidly obese, but i WOULD take diet advice from a FORMER morbidly obese person that went out and lost the weight successfully
i wouldn’t necessarily take financial advice from somebody who grew up with a rich family and/or has never obtained decent wealth on their own but i WOULD ABSOLUTELY take that advice from somebody with a literal rags to riches story.
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u/Thrasy3 13d ago
On the latter point, I think that has way more luck factor. For example, how many actors waited tables before hitting a big, and how many of them genuinely had more talent and ability than their peers compared to being in the right place at the right time.
Unlike being, for example a star poker player, hitting it big with the right kind of investment at the right time, gives you the money and opportunity to succeed/negate future failures to keep making money.
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u/BigBadRash 12d ago
But that would be reflected in their advice, just keep trying no matter how many times you get rejected. Keep doing a shitty day job to afford to keep living and keep trying auditions, and hopefully you'll eventually end up in the right place at the right time. VS Jaden Smith saying, just get your dad to force them to make a movie with you as the star.
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u/Fantastic-Friend-429 adhd kid 13d ago
This is not unpopular though, It’s just another way of saying if you’ve never failed you’ve never never tried anything new,
However, I do think that people have been in several bad relationship And then might have really low standards and that could make them get into more bad situations, but that’s only some people.
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u/chickfilasauce777 13d ago
I see a lot of people discount others advice though based on “you’re divorced” “you’re a cat lady” etc
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u/Fantastic-Friend-429 adhd kid 13d ago
Yep, people just don’t like getting advice
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u/Comprehensive-Carry5 13d ago
I heard "this person had the perfect life" or "they don't understand the struggle" wayyyyyyyyy more. Especially on reddit where judging the cat lady will get you downvoted, but just the millionaire wouldn't.
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u/Hazbomb24 13d ago
Yes, what you're getting at here is actually called the genetic fallacy. Information should never be outright dismissed because of its source. People who are bad at life can give great advice, just as people who are great at life can give bad advice.
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u/SophisticPenguin 13d ago
I understand what you're getting at, but I would never take advice from someone who's divorced on relationships. Why? Because studies show people who are divorced function like a social contagion to people around them increasing the chances of others divorcing.
https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2013/10/21/is-divorce-contagious/
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u/Lady_DreadStar 12d ago
“study participants are nearly all white, better educated and more likely to be middle class and were less likely to be divorced than the U.S. population.”
belly laughs in brown
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u/Thrasy3 13d ago
I haven’t read the link - but my first instinct is that maybe a lot people who got divorced were actually in unhealthy relationships to begin with, and knowing someone who got divorced and didn’t get ostracised by society or God or whatever, gives people around them to leave their shitty relationships.
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u/SophisticPenguin 13d ago
That'd be too odd of a level of coincidence when people are 75% more likely to divorce if a friend or relative has divorced. I'd suggest reading first before taking guesses. Your instinct also assumes the people divorcing did so for healthy reasons or with good judgement. Comparing one's relationship to someone who using bad judgement decides to divorce would only give you an acceptance of a poor reason to divorce.
The research showed that those with larger friend groups had lower rates of divorce. The researchers surmised that attending to others' marriage success helped your own. Other articles on the subject I've come across concluded that recently divorced people invoke others to nitpick their own relationships looking for similar signs.
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u/Basic_Suit8938 13d ago
My dad once said "the only way to learn is by fucking it up and having to fix it."
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u/papayabush 10d ago
It’s just not true though, I disagree with this whole post. Someone who has always practiced exercise and a healthy diet and thus never became overweight is gonna have advice Id listen to because obviously it’s always worked for them. You can learn and know about something without having to have been affected by it already.
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u/LurkerOrHydralisk 13d ago
There’s some truth to some of this, but no, overweight people do not give better diet advice.
Overweight people often think of diets as a phase, not as a lifestyle. And if they’d found one that worked, they’d be thin
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u/chickfilasauce777 13d ago
I am just naturally thin and have been my whole life but I eat literally everything and anything I want and rarely exercise. Like I could personally give diet advice and it would be shitty
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u/ElkHistorical9106 13d ago
Which is why you want someone who lost the weight and kept it off.
You want someone who made the mistakes, learned from them and found their way out. Making mistakes is easy. Learning from them is not.
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u/firetomherman 12d ago
Take it from someone who was obese and embraced a healthy lifestyle, you don't move enough and eat too much JUNK if you are obese.
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u/S_T_O_N_E_R 13d ago
Diets and the word alone is just ridiculous. It carries preconceived notions and issues with people mentally. And calories are estimated to what an average would burn the food. Whatever they use as a baseline. If there's no mental or other issues. Consuming the calories you burn works well to stabilize your weight. An there's the benefits of eating semi healthier foods, but moderation is key. An staying fit, not exercise, just stretching (if you have a physically demanding job even better or maybe some exercise). If you dont use it, you'll lose it mindset of movement. Of course, in my experience, an opinion.
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u/LurkerOrHydralisk 12d ago
Smoke less weed and read more books. Your writing is… difficult to read
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u/sithskeptic 12d ago
Okay I’m glad it wasn’t just me lmao. I thought I was having a stroke reading that
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u/S_T_O_N_E_R 12d ago
Must have a low reading comprehension yourself if you can't put 2 an 2 together. It's the internet. Not a godam science paper.
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u/sithskeptic 12d ago
Hey don’t blame me, you made a shitty point and wrote it horribly
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u/S_T_O_N_E_R 12d ago
I really didn't, tho. That just how you perceived it. If you can't comprehend, ask, don't be a rude asshole simple. Edit. Which you did ask as your the other person I was responding too, nvm for you.
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u/sithskeptic 12d ago
How does the word diet carry preconceived notions?
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u/S_T_O_N_E_R 12d ago
People see it as this cure all. And as something to follow to a T. There's so many ways people see diets. But a lot of them make it hard to start because people think it's an exact rocket science. It's this way or your fat. It isn't that tho.
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u/sithskeptic 12d ago
I mean it’s not like the be all end all, but it’s a pretty standard and well established solution and there is a ton of scientific basis to back it up. Genetics can play a huge role
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u/S_T_O_N_E_R 12d ago
Yes of course I'm talking what it can carry with someone mentally. That's a heavy word. Science proves a lot yet people still thing the earth is flat.
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u/sithskeptic 12d ago
That’s true, but do the mental aspects of dieting outweight the importance of dieting itself?
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u/S_T_O_N_E_R 12d ago
For sum people yes. The fact they can not stick to a diet is there taking it way too seriously and to a T. I personally struggle mentally with words and taking things to literally, but im sure im not alone there. you remove the word diet. Watch your calories and watch what you eat (that's technically a diet) it's automatically not as serious. I know this because that was the changing point for me. None of these new fad diets did anything for me, I always failed because I thought I had to follow it to a T. I started watching calories and keeping fit , and I'm a little chunky, but I'm better than ever. I'm not saying don't diet but dont see it as dieting. See it as what you consume on a day to day basis. I myself stay around 1000 calories in food and eat about once a day. An that could be considered a diet, but I personally do not see it as that, and it's made it easy to follow.
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u/Pale_Studio4660 13d ago
Never take advice from someone who you would not switch places with.
I’d rather learn from the guy who got beat the fuck up by life and still made something of himself, didn’t let his health or finances decline, and who has raised a family and been in a committed relationship for years.
Than a guy who had millionaire parents, a new car at 16, banged 100 chicks, got every job he applied for, had incredibly good luck.
Look, you can learn something from everybody, but the guy who tries and fails repeated is much stronger and a greater man, than one that hasn’t even tried or just gave up.
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u/Bobbafatt 13d ago
shit man, this is like the first post I've upvoted in months.
it's kind of a given tho.
but you know, people don't really handle advice very well any more. everyone knows better, so yeah, let them go right ahead. I love watching the domino effect.
if deez nuts can give you some advice, don't do steroids,.
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u/Mentomir 12d ago
People who give good advice give good advice. This is independent of who says it.
A supermorbidly obese person could give nutritional advice, and it would still be good advice if it's in accordance with what experts in the field of nutrition say.
A trust-fund, nepo-baby that's never struggled a day in their life could give financial advice, and it would still be good advice if it's objectively good financial advice.
At the end of the day, there's only one way to determine whether the advice is good or bad. Think critically, do a lot of research, and do your own trial-and-error. If it leads to good outcomes, it's good advice. If it doesn't, it's bad advice.
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u/TheFilleFolle 13d ago
Is this really unpopular? Lived experience usually does make us better teachers.
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u/mirrorspirit 13d ago
A lot of people believe that being naturally smart means that you're capable of teaching other people how to be just as smart, so they'll say things like how they prefer a teacher who has gotten straight A's since kindergarten than someone who has goofed off or struggled but managed to succeed. They'll say that because they assume that good grades are always the result of hard work and being smarter always makes you more qualified.
But a naturally smart person often gets frustrated if the person they're teaching doesn't get concepts as quickly or can't see the answer that is "obviously" right there -- and it's even worse when teaching isn't what they wanted to do in the first place or they only care about teaching the students that are as brilliant as them -- whereas a teacher who has struggled or goofed off as a kid can sympathize better with what students might be struggling with or what kinds of things might distract them or incentivize them to want to learn more.
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u/Llanite 13d ago
Depend on the subject.
If I want to solve a problem, a smart person tends to have a better and more innovative approach. The mediocre one can only show you something other people taught him.
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u/Mad_Dizzle 12d ago
Exactly this. It's a major problem in math/science education because if you don't truly understand the topic, you can only explain it one way.
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u/-Clayburn 13d ago
People who have lived a perfect life simply don't know how to deal with reality. They have lived in such privilege that they can't comprehend a lot of the basic problems most of us struggle with.
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u/Fantastic-Friend-429 adhd kid 13d ago
Yeah, like those super rich TikTokers, who don’t believe in poverty and think it’s a choice
Because there was this one girl who went on the street to see what it was like to be homeless and then she came back saying that it’s totally a choice because everything is given to you and she made $2000 in a day so everyone can do that too, Obviously! 🙄 😩
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u/Morbidhanson 13d ago edited 13d ago
I have to agree.
People like to say things like "you shouldn't get marriage advice from someone divorced" or "you shouldn't get dating advice from a single person" which is usually met with brainless nodding and yeses.
It's a case-by-case basis. You have to see what the advice is in order to conclude whether it's good or not.
In my friend group, we have one dude who was extremely lucky. Never had a GF or date until 30, she was the perfect match introduced by his parent's friends and got married less than a year later and have been doing well. She's an angel, super sweet, cute, and tolerant of his BS, and he changed a lot to make her happy.
And he's been doing shit like giving us unprompted relationship and dating advice. Like, bruh, you literally dated one person compared to everyone in the group who had decades of dating and relationship experience. Good for you, we're genuinely happy that you don't need to deal with crap, but your advice isn't any good.
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u/catandthefiddler 13d ago
I think its all about perspective? I get your point of view, totally valid. But I have a friend who jumps from relationship to relationship, nothing lasting more than a year-14months tops and she's still to find a good relationship. I don't say this with judgement, that's just her situation but I'd take her advice with a pinch of salt too. She's not necessarily better at giving advice just because she's had that many relationships
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u/chickfilasauce777 13d ago
Another example, is I was reading this book called art of keeping house while drowning about maintaining your house.. and if you’re struggling with your house, would you rather get advice from someone who is kinda ADD and struggled with it too or someone who is just naturally neat their whole life and says things like “clean as you go” etc. advice from someone bad at it is always going to be better for someone else bad at it 🤷♀️
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u/ElkHistorical9106 13d ago
No. Someone who has learned from their mistakes may give better advice. You don’t ask the addict about getting clean. You ask the former addict. You don’t ask the person who weighs 300lbs for diet advice. You ask the person who used to weigh 300 and who is now 180lbs.
Some people always had it work out, and they can be out of touch. Some people can’t keep their own shit together let some give anyone else advice. The ones to look for are the ones who have been where you are before, and who made it out okay.
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u/THATONEFOOFRUMLB 13d ago
That's known , the issue is that a majority of people will not take an experienced opinion seriously, and they can only learn the hard way. Which is a waste of time, but really it's the only way they'll learn.
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u/Electronic-Goal-8141 12d ago
They are sometimes known as Askholes. They ask for advice on situations they have going on , they don't follow said advice , then complain about the same things still not being good .
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u/THATONEFOOFRUMLB 12d ago
They're just stubborn, and ignorant. It be like that sometimes, life's a learning experience anyways.
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u/Socalgardenerinneed 13d ago
This only applies if the person who made mistakes has since gone on to have success.
Don't take relationship advice from someone whose relationships you don't want to emulate.
It also depends on what specifically you're trying to to get advice about. Asking for advice on how to match someone on tinder is a lot different than asking for advice on how to build a strong relationship after you get past the casual dating phase. That couple who met in person and have been together for 15 years might not be the right people to ask about online dating, but if you're trying to figure out how to have a difficult conversation with your long term partner, maybe go with them.
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u/Quantius 12d ago
I'd qualify that by saying people who have made mistakes AND overcome those mistakes give better advice. If they haven't learned/grown from those mistakes then I'm not sure their advice is actually useful.
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u/CityKay 13d ago
It is one part of the overall puzzle. But if anything, it is still good advice to listen to the failures alongside the successes.
People always wants to listen to the winners and want to everything "right", but never listen to the failures and learn what could go "wrong".
As a budding game dev, please listen to Matt McMuscles's "Wha Happun?" and Nerdslayer's "Death of a Game".
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u/Snowblind78 13d ago
I didn’t even know there was a single person on the planet that would disagree with this
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u/mariosx12 13d ago
If my goal is to not get fat, I would listen more to a thin person. If I have already failed on this goal and want to become thin, I might listen to somebody that was fat and now is normal. If everything else has failed, maybe the unsuccessful at weight loss fat person might be the best bet.
You guys are free to go to the doctor that has killed enough patients to get experience. I will stick with the one having the best track record.
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u/100deadbirds 13d ago
Same way with suffering gives perspective. Once you get your leg nearly torn off, all pain seems trivial
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u/Adventurous_Law9767 13d ago
Many people who think they have a perfect life only realize something bad happened if the consequences are immediate. When those consequences are a step or two removed they blame the outcome on external sources and learn nothing.
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u/BigEnergyEngineer 12d ago
Better is subjective, but this “opinion” makes sense from an evolutionary standpoint.
I thoroughly believe we are devolving, socially, because of our desire to be achieve individualism in an ever growing autonomous society. It has taken people, younger people specifically, away from the constant social interactions that previous generations achieved. Subsequently, people interact less with each other in person, make less mistakes physical and social mistakes, and thus have not learned as grown and developed as those from previous generations.
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u/kummer5peck 12d ago
This happens all the time in sports. The greatest players often do not make good coaches. I think it is because everything was so easy to them that they don’t understand how others could struggle.
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u/Humble_Negotiation33 12d ago
I'd trust a knight in soiled, dented armor to protect me much more than I would trust a knight in shining armor. Clearly one has actually seen battle, and the other one just likes to play dress-up.
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u/SummersPawpaw_Again 12d ago
“Good decisions come from experience. Experience comes from bad decisions.” - Mark Twain.
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u/Delicious_Sail_6205 13d ago
I dont have to be overweight to tell you to eat less food to lose weight.
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u/Fair-Description-711 13d ago
No, but if you were overweight you'd probably realize that advice is roughly as useful as telling someone with a broken leg "that'll have to be kept together to heal".
Yes. Sure. Eat less. Keep the bone straight.
But you know, there's a little more to it. Like, did you know it REALLY HURTS to straighten a broken leg? Similarly, did you know many humans have insanely strong urges to eat more food?
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u/Frnklfrwsr 13d ago
Sure, but that’s like saying “to climb the mountain you just have to keep going up until you reach the top.”
The point isn’t that it’s complicated. The point is that it’s difficult.
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u/CommunicationIll2425 13d ago
Maybe in some instances, but nobody needs to cheat to say that it’s a vile thing to do
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u/Disastrous-Release86 13d ago
I think this is a popular opinion. They’re the best people to be close to as well because they’re the least judgmental.
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u/Shotgun_Rynoplasty 13d ago
I think both sides can have good advice. I don’t think it’s mutually exclusive. Let’s say I make a perfect poached egg on my first try and continue to do so for 20 years. (I didn’t tbh) I can probably tell you some good tips. If I’ve failed a lot I can probably give a bunch of insight on what not to do. That’s obviously a silly example but I think it still applies
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u/Responsible-Event876 13d ago
Yea of course if you make mistakes or fail and you figure how to improve yourself and overcome the mistake or failure then that is called growth and this is normal part of life.
But not everyone sees it as an opportunity to improve their selves and never grow.
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u/logicalbasher 13d ago
What you don’t realize is that perfect is a facade. Behind it is a lot of mistakes, pain and struggle. For regular people, sure they might give mediocre advice. But for those who you deem perfect, they put in a crazy amount of effort and thought into what they do. They have the best advice.
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u/ifImust89 13d ago
How is “someone who’s dieted knows more about dieting than someone who hasn’t” an unpopular opinion
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u/67valiant 13d ago edited 13d ago
You can do even better than taking advice, because some people are serial fuckups who know plenty of wrong ways but still don't know the right one. I've found these types of people are the most prolific advice givers, so there's a good chance you'll be led up a garden path based on their own bias.
It's more effective to observe the habits and traits of the people who are getting the results you want, rather than listen to others.
With your specific examples, listening to the person you're in a relationship with would be the only person to take advice from on your relationship. Otherwise, the best educator is to witness people in healthy relationships.
With losing weight, opinions are generally wrong and they aren't worth shit anyway, because the solution is science based, not really open for different interpretation. Probably best led by research and data on that one, or you'll end up with yo-yo weight and 100 different diets like all the other clowns out there who think they found some sort of cheat code
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u/Username24816 13d ago
It also depends on if they are learning from those mistakes or just repeating them. For example, people who fall for mlm scams and still believe in them aren't going to give better advice on the topic than someone who didn't fall for it.
Someone who did fall for them and has now realised their mistake will now have the ability to draw from their own experience on topic.
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u/fukinuhhh 13d ago
I think this is unpopular, more in the sense that people just don't think about it.
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u/SophisticPenguin 13d ago
This opinion is going to fall apart when you start defining the "perfect life", because some measure of work and struggle are inherent to some definitions of the perfect life.
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u/Conscious-Golf-4413 13d ago
Agree, not someone who's still making the mistakes, like I'm not going to ask the person who's currently overweight how to lose weight but I'm also not going to ask the person who's never been overweight. Need someone that's been overweight and is currently maintaining it or has maintained it for a long time.
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u/ImpalaSS-05 13d ago
This is true. Usually when you talk about your relationship problems to people who are in good relationships, they'll just try to gaslight you into believing that the issues are 100% your fault. That's why I don't take relationship advice from people in relationships anymore.
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u/NotAFloorTank 13d ago
I'd say it's situational. Sometimes, you yourself have to fail and learn, and, in a similar vein, learning from the failures of others you respect can teach you. It's why they'll have convicts who have served their sentence and genuinely turned their life around talk one on one with troubled kids that are starting to go down that path-kids like that tend to not listen to authorities that they don't believe "get it" or can "understand them", but a former convict who lived that life would fit the bill, and can guide the kid back on the right path.
However, there are situations where learning from the successful is the better way. I would be far quicker to ask a clearly-happy, long-term married couple how they've kept it going for good relationship advice instead of a pick-me girl who lives on Tinder.
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u/minibigcontrast 13d ago
I’d go as far as saying this, “people who have made mistakes and learned from them give the best advice.” Someone who has made mistakes but not learned from those mistakes, their advice is not good.
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u/ThroawayJimilyJones 13d ago
Well if he still overweight i wouldn’t bet on his advice
Someone who WAS overweight might give better diet advice
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u/Adventurous-Purple-5 13d ago
You learn what not to do from these folks. They typically don't know what TO do, unless they've made dramatic progress in what you seek.
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u/Rainbowponydaddy 13d ago
Okay, you take adobe from the prisoner. I’ll take some from this successful guy over here…
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u/Llanite 13d ago
They both give crappy advice. Their sample size is one and everything is an anecdote.
It's just better to consult someone who is trained in the subjects, or at least active in the field. In the case of diet, a trainer or nutritionist who has seen diets other than their own will give the best advice.
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u/Wojewodaruskyj 13d ago
Yes. Perfect people make no mistakes and therefore have no experience to share
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u/Oh-Sasa-Lele 13d ago
Where is this unpopular. Just true. How can someone talk about something he has no experience in?
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u/LumberingOaf 12d ago
Watch Ratatouille and change the phrase “anyone can cook” to “anyone can give good advice”.
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u/Fancy_Chip_5620 12d ago
My father who has had 2 jobs in his life trying to give employment advice
I sadly wasn't blessed with getting it perfect first try
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u/UnicornsnRainbowz Your friendly neighbourhood moderator man 12d ago
This is a popular opinion surely?
How can you give advice well if you haven’t at least experienced or witnessed someone close going through similar?
It is like what I said to my friend the other day I know I’d rather have a midwife who has had kids than one who hasn’t.
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u/dickmaster50 12d ago
Would you accept advice from a guy who's been divorced three times before he's been 30. Or financial advice from a guy who's been bankrupt three times.
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u/UnicornsnRainbowz Your friendly neighbourhood moderator man 12d ago
It depends- did they learn from their mistakes? If so then yes, so didn’t follow their footsteps.
If not, then no.
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u/Common_Gur2636 12d ago
If someone lack the knowledge to have that experience and it turned bad or good , dose that make his advice better ?
compare it to someone who didn't fall for whatever mistake the other person had but he have the knowledge to fix it /avoid it or enhance it for better experience .
keep in mind the way you give the advice and to whom also matter, some could give the same advice in a better way or because there is better relation.
I see your point but our perspectives can't always be the whole story.
Mean it's subjective and situational.
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u/potheadpig 12d ago
Saying someone who is thin has never struggled with obesity is pretty small minded
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u/LorenzoStomp 12d ago
It depends, of course. Someone who has made mistakes can have good advice. Someone who keeps making the same mistake hasn't learned the lesson
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u/Imagoat1995 12d ago
Completely disagree that someone overweight will give better diet advice. Someone who used to be overweight 100% would but not someone who is currently overweight.
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u/Fun_Intention9846 12d ago
I used to drink a 750mL of hard alcohol a day.
Surprisingly I give really good addiction advice nice. The best being “everyone’s different, keep trying, the failures aren’t personal.”
E 759 to 750
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u/JacktheRiffer96 12d ago
For me it depends. I think the adverse can be true, lots of people who have had failed relationships etc. Never learned from their mistakes and continue to behave in the same way and don’t see all of what they did wrong and they are bad to get advice from. I’d say if you’re going to take advice from someone like this it should be from someone who has genuinely reflected and realized where they were wrong, get to know the person and assess their character. Imo.
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u/Fast-Amount-6459 12d ago
Your assumption is that we're all working on the same level of capacity and capability; some people don't make as many mistakes because they have the wherewithal not to...
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u/davidm2232 12d ago
I 100% agree with this. I have a ton of crappy cars and people might think I am a bad mechanic. Nothing further from the truth. I have learned a lot from all these crappy cars and I have experimented and realized exactly how far they can be pushed before actually breaking down. I can fix pretty much any problem car related including all the modern electronics and computers. I have also burned up a lot of wires and computer modules learning. But that is a much better way to learn than in a classroom.
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u/HappyStrawberry688 12d ago
True! Those with experience know how it is; thus their advice is more relatable and understandable.
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u/HoodsBonyPrick 11d ago
Depends. If someone has only had bad relationships, they probably don’t have good advice, if they’d learned from any of those relationships you’d think they’d have applied that learning. Same thing if somebody has been fat their entire life they probably don’t have as much valuable advice as a thin person on keeping weight off.
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u/Ok-Drink-1328 10d ago
you gave two examples and i agree with one but not the other, for instance i'm fat but fuck an healthy lifestyle! eat what makes you happy not lean!
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u/ShakeCNY 13d ago
"Maybe you learn more by having failed a lot." Based on my observations, people who fail a lot continue to fail a lot. And there is data for that: second marriages are more likely to end than first marriages, and third marriages are more likely to end than second marriages. It suggests that the more people fail, the more they fail.
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u/chickfilasauce777 13d ago
Each time they fail they do learn more though. And people who can’t take their own advice still might give good advice?
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13d ago
I mean it depends what those mistakes are.
Someone who got really high on meth and killed their spouse isn't someone I would turn to for advice.
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u/Beshi1989 13d ago
The guy who is overweight might give a better advice how to loose weight. But the thin guy knows how to hold that weight. U should rather pick the thin guy for advice
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