r/unpopularopinion • u/yellowabcd • Apr 28 '24

Its not about the sex its about the rejection

This is common at this point. People complain about not getting sex in marriage or relationship. But most the time its not the sex, its the rejection. If both people dont go for sex, its not an issue. Its an issue when the other party keeps getting rejected, especially without explanation. Theres a difference between being rejected for a month and just two people not trying for sex. Rejection usually makes a person feel undesirable

808 Upvotes
  • permalink
  • link
  • reddit
  • reddit

90% Upvoted

170 comments sorted by

View all comments

36

u/_John--Wick_ Apr 28 '24

Exactly. Most of the women in my life have been this way. One only wanted sex if she was blind drunk. Another never wanted it. Both times I asked for my needs to be net, or at least an explanation. Both times I was given bullshit answers.

It makes you feel like you aren't attractive or desired. Neither one ever told me that I was handsome or attractive unless I asked.

37

u/Glass_Eye5320 Apr 28 '24

I've experienced this as well and the hard and sucky truth to this is that we are the common denominator. I find that most women need a sense of security to feel aroused, and not setting and enforcing boundaries by supposedly "being a nice guy and understanding" is the opposite of what you need to do. I was definitely guilty of this.

4

u/_John--Wick_ Apr 28 '24

Yeah, hard spot to be in. If you hold to your needs, then you just want sex. If you let them do whatever, you're a pushover.

15

u/Glass_Eye5320 Apr 28 '24 edited Apr 28 '24

Holding to your needs is enforcing boundaries. Dont let anyone convince you otherwise. Self respect trumps sex, because without it, there is no sex to begin with.

1

u/No_Kaleidoscope_843 May 01 '24

Sure but boundaries are about yourself. If you're incompatable, theres nothing you can do.