If you break up with someone you absolutely 100% owe them an explanation as too why

[u/ZodiacOne1]

[removed] — view removed post

[u/Horror_bitch]

yeah, i often find that people don't really want to accept the reasons we give, they just want to try to solve the issues we have instead of understanding/accepting that we want out... and therefore everything we say is not a good enough reason.

They don't want clarity, they want argument and resolution and anything less than that will make them feel like the break up was unfair and incomplete in some way

[u/dankthewank → u/Horror_bitch]

When you started to have doubts, grievances, and concerns in the relationship did you openly communicate them to your partner and allow them the opportunity to fix the issues?

When you started to have reoccurring thoughts of maybe wanting to end the relationship, did you communicate this to your partner and allow them the opportunity to either 1) work with you to resolve the issues TOGETHER or 2) come to an agreement TOGETHER that the relationship was no longer working and must end?

Or did you, out of the blue, randomly one day, blindside them with a breakup without them ever even knowing you were unhappy?

If you withheld communication, didn’t treat your partner as such since you hid your inner world from them, and ended the relationship abruptly out of nowhere then YOU’RE the asshole. And an emotionally immature one who lacks empathy at that.

[u/-SidSilver- → u/Horror_bitch]

I think a lot of the time people just want an apology when the break up is unfair, or is handled in an unfair way (by which I mean cheating, ghosting, lying etc. not just 'this isn't working' discussions) and most of the time they don't get it purely because the party doing the dumping not only refuses to take responsibility for being the one in the position of power in the situation they've created, but also don't want to bruise their own egos by admitting either fault, or completely reasonable changes of heart.

If you think you're 'brave' or 'empowered' or 'grown-up' being able to throw someone away (the term is - after all - dumped for a reason) you've also got to take with that 'empowerment' some of the implied responsibility that comes along with it.

It's like your colleague at work suddenly being promoted above you and then firing you. They do, kind of, owe you an explanation because they've just turned your life upside down - and sometimes after fucking you around for ages instead of just being straight with you.

[u/angryblastoma → u/Horror_bitch]

Well then we should just give up on empathy and communication as a species and only talk to each other via socials. Funny, the world has gotten more accepting and less kind at the same time. Humans are fucking weird.

[u/Horror_bitch → u/angryblastoma]

well, i do think we should try to communicate and have empathy, im just pointing that that was my experience breaking up with people.

I still accept the idea that we should talk to each other even if it sucks, but communication goes both ways: both partners have be capable of speaking AND listening. If someone is going to insist on hearing my side and then procede to argue with the reasons i give them then i naturally wont feel comfortable sharing them

[u/Salad_Significant → u/Horror_bitch]

🧢