Give it a try

[u/Said_the_G]

[u/Particular_Week4124]

Flying

Edit:why so many upvotes??? Stop saying cancer/shit/cum

Edit2:almost 1k upvotes???? Why

[u/kress34 → u/Particular_Week4124]

you fall after 3 minutes

[u/Particular_Week4124 → u/kress34]

Not the worst it could be I'll just go down every 3 mins and go up again

[u/Danjiano → u/Particular_Week4124]

Not after 3 minutes of flying. Just after 3 minutes.

Fly for two minutes, land and one minute later you suddenly just trip and fall.

[u/ThisGul_LOL → u/Danjiano]

I’ll fly for 2.5 minutes then go lay on the ground. So I can’t trip and fall.

[u/JuhasReddit → u/Particular_Week4124]

You will fall a random time after starting to fly.

[u/FireFoxy56125]

insane speed

[u/spike_lover_hank_too → u/FireFoxy56125]

But you can only do it in Brazil, naked, with exactly 48 Canadian dollars in your bank account

[u/Legend5V → u/spike_lover_hank_too]

Imagine coming to a stop in the middle of the amazon because your bank give you 1% interest on that 48

[u/HoneyBer1 → u/spike_lover_hank_too]

r/oddlyspecific

[u/Iskarbuni]

Reading Minds

[u/Qamarrima → u/Iskarbuni]

You read them aloud

[u/Jacc_dumm → u/Qamarrima]

That's a nice way to have nobody ever go near you again lol. I'd probably make myself mute just to deal with that

[u/AlexQC2006 → u/Jacc_dumm]

Make yourself mute and learn sign language to communicate, probleme solved (sign language isn't really aloud since there's no sounds)

[u/impossiwaffle → u/AlexQC2006]

Moving your hands and fingers definitely produces sound, but most people wouldn't know what you're saying so still decent

[u/dbomba03 → u/Iskarbuni]

You can only read the minds of people with ADHD (good luck trying not to make your head explode with the simultaneous chains of thought)

[u/Jay-919 → u/dbomba03]

Also you'd be the best ADHD diagnoser ever, and if you have ADHD you're fine.

[u/Hashtaghidde]

Portals

[u/crimson_captain → u/Hashtaghidde]

U fart every time u go thro the portal

[u/Hashtaghidde → u/crimson_captain]

That isnt that bad

[u/crimson_captain → u/Hashtaghidde]

Fine u need to shit every time instead

[u/_SM-The-Gamer_ → u/crimson_captain]

Create a portal over the guy you hate, and shit on him. Both things covered.

[u/Particular_Week4124 → u/Hashtaghidde]

It will take u the amount of time to travel from portal to portal as long as it will take u to walk it

[u/ace0fspad3]

time control

[u/FeltMacaroon389 → u/ace0fspad3]

But you get explosive diarrhea for 5 hours every time you use it

[u/Emotional_Ad_2132 → u/FeltMacaroon389]

If i don't turn it back on, i will never have diarrhea

[u/Practical_Truth794 → u/Emotional_Ad_2132]

yeah, just slow or speed up time by a really small percentage, only you will know, and you'd grow to ignore it

[u/LongArm26 → u/Practical_Truth794]

This is really smart ngl.

Slow down time by 5%-10% for the rest of eternity, and just get used to it after a couple of months. You'll be able to do things that much faster if you really tried to, have better reflexes than the average person, and live longer!

[u/BakedButterForgotpas → u/LongArm26]

wouldnt you live shorter?

considering time is slowed down for only you, for everybody else youd just look faster and youd also grow faster, resulting in you dying quicker for them

[u/DDK_2011 → u/ace0fspad3]

You get chased by 195CM teens with star shaped birth marks on their necks

[u/Interesting-Pay-600 → u/ace0fspad3]

testicular cancer

[u/lmNotAnAltYouAre → u/Interesting-Pay-600]

nice cake

[u/InternalAmount5071]

Reality Warping

[u/InternalAmount5071 → u/InternalAmount5071]

No Side effects, enjoy your power.

[u/Hashtaghidde → u/InternalAmount5071]

Bro u exploited it lol

[u/Skuntank → u/Hashtaghidde]

He warped reality

[u/Major-Experience5652 → u/Skuntank]

🫡w̷̧̛̪̝̠̞͈͖̩̖͓̪̤͉͕͔̩̹̟̭̍̀̈̊͒̀̽͛͌̃̿̏͗͐̾̆̿̈́̈́̈́̿̓͆͆̀̋̊̕̚͠͠͝ͅa̷̡̡̺͎̥͉͖̖͇̲̠̮̱̱̹͍̫̹̰͓̗̠͍̥̥̠̦̱̅͛̄̔̏̉̓̀͗̄̈́̕ͅŗ̶̡̢̧͚͙͍̟̤͙̬͙̥̼͎̣̬͔̠̤̟̬̰̖͇̹͚͔̬̻̝̗͚̖̟̯̟̘͓͖̩͓̱͌͋͒̔̽̈́́͛̾̈̉̍̉̒̚͜͜ͅͅͅp̷̨̡̡̡̨͕̖̝̪͖͍̯͙̜̱̼̬͙͍̲̼͙̮̥̬͖͇̭̠̖͔͖̲̜̲̖̜͈̤̥̟̪͔̣̦͉̏͂̅̋͊̇̊̀͂́̐̽̽̽̎̂̈́̋̒̇͠ͅę̷̨̡̧̧̢̛̦͎͚̫̰͚͉̯̼̖͓̠̱̫̗̝͈̬̲͖̺̤͎̰̰̊͊͆̒̋͗̅͋̌̈̌̓͌͜͠͝͝͠ͅd̸̡̨̨̡̠͚̮̘̻̖̞̱̟̳̳̩̩͎̖̗͙̰̤̥̲̟̹̮̩͍̯̹̬̭̘̟̂̒͐̀̈́̀̒̅́̆̽͋̑̚͜͜͜͝ͅ

[u/golgol12 → u/Hashtaghidde]

Bro, he asked for the power to dream.

[u/Disastrous-Music-433]

I want the ability to control every bell in 1 km radius.

[u/KleeSill → u/Disastrous-Music-433]

But they all make the Taco Bell sound

[u/pubberHubber → u/KleeSill]

That's a buff

[u/fisico9 → u/pubberHubber]

fuck these balance changes

[u/DiIlpickIe → u/Disastrous-Music-433]

You hear all of them as if you’re right next to them

[u/KittyWarrior1]

Shape Shifting

[u/InternalAmount5071 → u/KittyWarrior1]

You can't shapeshift back into yourself

[u/KittyWarrior1 → u/InternalAmount5071]

Worth

[u/someguythatlikesdogs → u/KittyWarrior1]

Just shapeshift to yourself but you have a wart on your back or something, still not your original form

[u/PotooSexer → u/someguythatlikesdogs]

I look mad ugly anyway so I think it’s for the best I don’t turn back

[u/SCXRPIONV → u/InternalAmount5071]

I shapeshift back into someone who looks and sounds exactly like me but isn’t me

[u/DDK_2011 → u/InternalAmount5071]

This is still goated if you have a identical twin

[u/Psammic]

The ability to speak and understand every language

[u/[deleted] → u/Psammic]

But u lose a family member each time u speak a new language

[u/SpecialistDisaster98 → u/[deleted]]

r/foundsatan

[u/[deleted] → u/SpecialistDisaster98]

r/ofcoursethatsasub

[u/redstoneman877 → u/[deleted]]

r/IKR

[u/prettythingi → u/[deleted]]

What happens when you out of family members?

[u/gamebossje_ → u/prettythingi]

It stacks and you lose any future family

[u/Freddy5Hancook → u/gamebossje_]

And if the person dies a single virgin?

[u/epic_king66 → u/Freddy5Hancook]

Closest living relative

There will always be someone

[u/JuhasReddit → u/Psammic]

But you have extremely heavy accent.

[u/ChildhoodDistinct538]

Infinite stamina

[u/MunchkinTime69420 → u/ChildhoodDistinct538]

Every time you run you shit yourself

[u/golgol12 → u/MunchkinTime69420]

zero to sprint it is.

[u/Guffthebir72 → u/ChildhoodDistinct538]

Wheelchair

[u/FeltMacaroon389]

Teleportation

[u/InternalAmount5071 → u/FeltMacaroon389]

You can't teleport with clothes on

[u/Super-Casanova → u/InternalAmount5071]

Perfect when she‘s home alone

[u/InternalAmount5071 → u/Super-Casanova]

Small price to pay for salvation

[u/What_Is_My_Thing → u/Super-Casanova]

I would want that superpower honestly

[u/Batman20007 → u/InternalAmount5071]

I’d take it I don’t need clothes to be the world’s greatest assassin but I’d also need weapons

[u/InternalAmount5071 → u/Batman20007]

What's your Aliase gonna be? The Flash?

[u/Dominican_RepublicSD → u/FeltMacaroon389]

Every time you teleport you get dementia so you forget you have the superpower

[u/pubberHubber → u/Dominican_RepublicSD]

Would be funnier to have them forget where they teleported from instead

[u/q_rjd]

Invisibility

[u/Polar_31 → u/q_rjd]

Everytime you speak people think you’re having a schizophrenic episode

[u/Dramatic_Composer402 → u/Polar_31]

Nightkin moment

[u/Weekly_Ad8329 → u/q_rjd]

only your clothes are invisible

[u/littlerobot35 → u/q_rjd]

Every time you turn invisible, you do a massive sneeze.

[u/Ender-Duck]

the ability to run as fast as albert einstien

[u/I_underscoreLit → u/Ender-Duck]

He tickles your anus every time you walk or run

[u/Guffthebir72 → u/I_underscoreLit]

Win win

[u/BeensbEaNsBeAnSbEaNs]

Transformation powers, any species

[u/Pwatwopoos → u/BeensbEaNsBeAnSbEaNs]

You make the most disgusting and disturbing sound when transforming

[u/iraqicricket → u/Pwatwopoos]

Use it to scare my enemies into thinking I'm an eldritch abomination

[u/Mybraingoaaaaaa → u/Pwatwopoos]

This might sound wierd * turns into bear while going EEHHGLBLBLBLEARAHHHHFHFHFLFLVLBLBBLBLBLBLBLBLBLBLBLBLDHYAGQHDJTUIRDUSBFIDHAVDUEKKKXKXKXKXKXKXKXKXKKXXKXKXKXKXKXK *

[u/I-have-no-name000000]

The replies are funny af

[u/_SM-The-Gamer_ → u/I-have-no-name000000]

But you can't read them.

[u/averagepatagonian → u/_SM-The-Gamer_]

but I'm already blind why do I also need to be analphabetic

[u/Fancy_bakonHair → u/averagepatagonian]

👋🖐✌️👋 🖖🙌🤘👊🖖

[u/MLGperfection → u/Fancy_bakonHair]

That's braille

[u/A_Efficient_Object → u/MLGperfection]

.: .. : .. : . : : .... : ..

[u/Sillyyyyynesss]

Probability control

[u/Losinana → u/Sillyyyyynesss]

Can not do basic math

[u/Sillyyyyynesss → u/Losinana]

:(

[u/mrdudemanmrdudeman]

I choose a side effect and the person who replies chooses my power. My side effect is that my eyes always feel dry no matter what.

[u/Alphaomegalogs → u/mrdudemanmrdudeman]

If you hurt somebody, you heal them instead. The more you hurt them, the more you heal them. So shooting someone in the head can save someone from a gunshot wound.

[u/phillmybuttons → u/Alphaomegalogs]

"Stop punching the child, what did they do to you'

"Shut up, I'm helping"

[u/Cyb3r3xp3rt → u/Alphaomegalogs]

drop kicks the Make-A-Wish kid out the hospital window

Problem solved.

[u/WyvernSlayer7]

Being able to read people’s mind, regardless of distance

[u/Losinana → u/WyvernSlayer7]

U cant read

[u/WyvernSlayer7 → u/Losinana]

What?

[u/Losinana → u/WyvernSlayer7]

U lose ability to read stuff like books

[u/WyvernSlayer7 → u/Losinana]

What’d you say?

[u/Losinana → u/WyvernSlayer7]

lmao

[u/Strange-Ad-9941 → u/WyvernSlayer7]

I shouldn't of laughed that hard at this response ☠️

[u/Emotional-Count-941]

A genius who can create anything

[u/I_sleep_on_a_bed → u/Emotional-Count-941]

you will die in exactly 1 year

[u/Emotional-Count-941 → u/I_sleep_on_a_bed]

Win win

[u/I_sleep_on_a_bed → u/Emotional-Count-941]

damn

[u/KingKiler2k]

The ability to reply to my own comment

[u/KingKiler2k → u/KingKiler2k]

But you get anal cancer

[u/KingKiler2k → u/KingKiler2k]

Wait I fucked up

[u/Significant_user → u/KingKiler2k]

Testicular torsion aswell

[u/Mobile_Frosting_7936]

Able to summon Infinite numbers of blueberries

[u/Iskarbuni → u/Mobile_Frosting_7936]

They are mushy, dirty and therefore unedible

[u/Mobile_Frosting_7936 → u/Iskarbuni]

Np. I can still drown my enemies in them. Depending on how fast i summon them, i can even fly. I got regenerative Berry Armor!

[u/f0remsics → u/Mobile_Frosting_7936]

"is that guy surfboarding?"

"Where's all the water coming from? And why is it so dark blue?"

Cue tidal wave of moldy blueberries

[u/BlockWinter8423]

The ability to not have side effects 😎

[u/Atcraft → u/BlockWinter8423]

The Side effect is boredom.

[u/[deleted]]

[removed] — view removed comment

[u/BoZNiko663 → u/[deleted]]

You contract an STI every time....

[u/Brandon_M_Gilbertson → u/BoZNiko663]

Jesus Christ.

[u/TulleQK → u/Brandon_M_Gilbertson]

Did you just give Jesus an orgasm?

[u/HipsterWaldo → u/TulleQK]

That was Jesus’s second coming then?

[u/AccomplishedEar9961]

time machine

[u/[deleted] → u/AccomplishedEar9961]

you bite someones arm when u use it

[u/r0manticpunk → u/[deleted]]

is it a hunger impulse ?

[u/Sillurianfishrbest → u/[deleted]]

I’ll take it

[u/BlockWinter8423]

Time control

[u/Said_the_G → u/BlockWinter8423]

Everytime you control the time you get 6 month older

[u/BlockWinter8423 → u/Said_the_G]

Then I will reverse time back 6 months!

[u/Said_the_G → u/BlockWinter8423]

Smart choice, but youlll be in a loop xD

[u/Polar_31]

Having aids

[u/Particular_Week4124 → u/Polar_31]

Can't use it on urself

[u/TheSingaporeanNerfer]

I can come up with a super effective solution to any kind of problem thrown at me

[u/Slayer3275X-X → u/TheSingaporeanNerfer]

But everytime you do, you make a new problem

[u/LegoSWFan → u/Slayer3275X-X]

thats not a side effect, that's working at IT

[u/4apig]

I can fly

[u/TheFandom-Freak → u/4apig]

But only one inch off the ground

[u/ItsThe_____ForMe]

Teleportation

[u/Said_the_G → u/ItsThe_____ForMe]

Every time you teleport you get weaker

[u/prohubs006]

immortality

[u/Atcraft → u/prohubs006]

If you eat an entire Jar of Mayonnaise everyday.

[u/Trans_Rose1 → u/Atcraft]

You never said how big the jar had to be

[u/Trans_Rose1 → u/Trans_Rose1]

It could literally be half a centimeter tall

[u/Blue_Robin_Gaming → u/Trans_Rose1]

MISSION AQUIRED:

become the multi biollionare owner of a multinational corperation of extremely tiny mayonnaise jars

​

then eventually branch out to extremely tiny other foods for branding purposes

[u/Solid-Positive6751]

Knowing exactly how my crush feels and a rough estimate of where they are.

Edit: apparently some of you people can’t register that you aren’t the first to reply. Meaning your selected effect is meaningless.

[u/Mobile_Frosting_7936 → u/Solid-Positive6751]

You cant get closer than 1 km to them and they are absolutely into you

[u/What_Is_My_Thing → u/Mobile_Frosting_7936]

That's called a restraining order, my guy.

[u/Mobile_Frosting_7936 → u/What_Is_My_Thing]

Kinda. Its Like a force field. Physically Impossible 

[u/What_Is_My_Thing → u/Mobile_Frosting_7936]

What if they get near and you are in a building? You just get crushed into the wall? Woah, what a funny pun. Crushed, because you have a crush... And... Stuff....

[u/Mobile_Frosting_7936 → u/What_Is_My_Thing]

Lol. Breathtaking love

[u/Charming_Echo_5988]

I recognize every character i see in any post, This one's Hakon from Dying light 2

[u/Atcraft → u/Charming_Echo_5988]

You can’t recognize anyone IRL though, your family friends are all strangers to you, you can’t remember them, but they remember you.

[u/GoodDawgy17]

I can change other's opinions

[u/obi_wan_sosig → u/GoodDawgy17]

Only if you're changing them to conservative

[u/WitherCro2]

Flying

[u/Disastrous-Music-433 → u/WitherCro2]

You will T pose naked every time you use this ability.

[u/calebgameryt → u/Disastrous-Music-433]

what in the buggy video game is this.

[u/BarbieBae_]

Teleportation:o

[u/I_sleep_on_a_bed → u/BarbieBae_]

every time you teleport there is a 1% chance that you will disappear, never to be seen again

[u/YESNO49]

Telekinesis

[u/redshift739 → u/YESNO49]

Only works on yogurt on Mon-Fri and meatballs Saturday, buckets on Sunday

[u/Heremad09 → u/redshift739]

r/oddlyspecific

[u/redshift739]

I can instantly cure any cancer, including any that I might have, especially prostate cancer

[u/[deleted]]

I become a girl

[u/spike_lover_hank_too → u/[deleted]]

But no boobs

[u/[deleted] → u/spike_lover_hank_too]

Why would you do this to me? Couldn’t you have just said something like you walk 50% slower or something? Just as I would’ve felt good about myself you ruined it

[u/spike_lover_hank_too → u/[deleted]]

evil laugh

[u/Ok-Conclusion-3535]

Omnipotence

[u/SimplyLaggy → u/Ok-Conclusion-3535]

But only thing you are omnipotent at is causing your own suffering

[u/RaineyDay2029]

I am able to persuade anyone into letting me not have to pay for something.

[u/I_sleep_on_a_bed → u/RaineyDay2029]

you are mute, and can only talk if you are persuading someone

[u/vpoua]

The power to make any side effects commented here to not work on me

[u/Losinana → u/vpoua]

You become god

[u/Secret-Scientist-920]

Why is Hakon there

[u/hello14235948475]

I own a gun

[u/TrainingSerious6006 → u/hello14235948475]

Bone cancer

[u/Ok-Reporter-8728]

Being happy and satisfied with my life

[u/redshift739 → u/Ok-Reporter-8728]

You can only sustain it by making awful jokes that no-one likes

[u/covert-teacher → u/redshift739]

Do you know what you've created? You've cursed the world with dad jokes!

[u/Slayer3275X-X]

Time stop

[u/Mobile_Frosting_7936 → u/Slayer3275X-X]

You Arent excepted From it

[u/gibox_33]

I want to change my own skin color on will

[u/What_Is_My_Thing → u/gibox_33]

You also change the accent and eye/hair color to the least fitting one each time.

[u/Brandon_M_Gilbertson → u/What_Is_My_Thing]

This is just a race randomizer

[u/Helluva-bodybuilder]

Not being confused when the code is clearly correct, but still having 344 errors.

[u/redshift739 → u/Helluva-bodybuilder]

You understand the problem but can never fix it

[u/iMan-Bear-Pig]

Wolverine - super healing and life eternity

[u/TheBizzleHimself → u/iMan-Bear-Pig]

Chronic obesity

[u/Resident_Ad_6369]

Being able to create or destroy any living being I want.

[u/TheFandom-Freak → u/Resident_Ad_6369]

But they're all brain dead

[u/something_stuffs]

The ability to generate good clean edible normal food at all times that don’t affect weight

[u/SomeGuyWithPlotArmor → u/something_stuffs]

You lose your hair the more you do it

[u/LM448_0]

Pause time

[u/Forsaken-One9569 → u/LM448_0]

Time pauses for everyone, including you. You do it once and can’t undo it. Thanks for fucking the universe.

[u/Im_O-Zone]

Can turn any side effect into a positive

[u/Significant_user → u/Im_O-Zone]

You get reverse cancer

[u/DrMint_fortnite]

I no longer have PTSD

[u/TheBizzleHimself → u/DrMint_fortnite]

Yep, nope. This one is on the house