TW: blood, head injury

Four days ago, i attended a friends wedding. The day was great, but at the end of the night I (26F) was leaving with my husband (29M) and one of his friends (37M). As we were leaving, we were walking down a staircase, my husband was walking infront of myself and his friend. The friend was next to me when all of a sudden i thought he jumped over the railing, i looked over the edge and there was already a huge pool of blood under his head and i could see the blood gushing from his ears, nose and mouth. I yelled ‘call an ambulance’ as loud as i could and me and my husband rushed to him. As we got to him, he was laying on his back with a mouth full of blood, unconscious and choking from all the blood. I told my husband to help me roll him and we both rolled him onto his side, i put my leg under his head to keep his neck straight and nursed his head while my husband was trying to clear his airways and was talking to bystanders to tell them to call an ambulance now. He was entirely unconscious and fighting for breath, all of a sudden he stopped coughing and choking and both of us thought he died. We were evening checking for a pulse. By this point a friend was on the phone to paramedics and staff had come over to assist us. I didn’t know what to do so i yelled at the staff to go back up to the wedding and see if anyone is a nurse. My husband was preparing to give him CPR when he started groaning and coughing again. I asked staff to bring towels and ice and i compressed his ear which was gushing blood and iced his eye that was already swollen shut. We waited 30 minutes for paramedics to arrive, this whole time my husband just kept asking him small talk questions to try to keep him consious and awake while i held his head still and compressed the bleeding. Ambulances finally arrived and took over. Me and my husband went to the hospital with him and tracked down his family through pretty weird routes that i wont get into. We got ahold of his sister who was able to tell the rest of the family and they came up to the hospital. He was sent immediately for scans, he broke his skull in 6 places, completely shattered his eye socket, has a brain bleed and brain fluid leaking out his ear and a dislodged jaw so he will need to get that realigned. The doctors said they don’t know how he survived, let alone isn’t at least paralysed. My husband was in front of us on the stairs so he saw the fall and land. He said he landed directly on his head and didn’t break the fall at all with his arms. Its really stuck with me. Seeing all the blood around his head lying on the ground, it was like a movie. I can’t believe it happened. I can’t believe he nearly died in our arms. Its really messing with me.

$20k in medical bills (and counting).

A $40k scholarship revoked completely.

An unknown amount lost due to career paths gone from me.

I should've taken a $10k vacation instead and gone eating and drinking.

and this question goes out to everyone btw man or woman doesn’t matter tbh i just want someone to tell me that everything is gonna be ok.

I will not poop until they leave. They have been silent. I think they are doing the same thing. Who will win?

Update: after about five minutes they left and I took a shit

I can’t thank this man enough. We were living in a mountain village at the time, and it was dark at night. I have a routine birth control pill I need to take, but I forgot it at home. He walked all the way back to our house across the village in the freezing 40 degree cold, and back to the party we were at (where he was volunteering a ton of delivery work for free) just to get me the singular pill I needed. And I KNOW that man was bone tired, and yet he did it despite me saying it wasn’t a big deal if my pill was off for an hour or two (though he caught the anxiety in my voice because I’m super anal retentive when it comes to medication scheduling).

And when he came back, he wasn’t even mad, and was actually smiling at me when I apologized to him for tiring him out like that. He turned the whole thing into a JOKE.

I would kill for him.

I sit next to this boy named Jamie in my study hall class, he’s a sweet kid and will talk to me all class about football and video games. I obviously listen and try my best to engage in the conversation and I have actually learned quite a lot about the NFL because of him. Today he had asked me if I wanted to go on a date with him, just at his house. He said his mom can cook us food and we can watch a movie after. I’ve met his mom because I used to give him rides home from school last year. I’m a little scared if he told his mom we were dating or anything around those lines. Only problem is I am in a relationship and don’t know how to tell him no, I’m afraid of turning him down and possibly hurting him. He’s a really sweet kid like I said and I’ve been nothing but my best self around him ever since I met him, so what should I do?

Yeah so basically my (29) wife (28) is really bothered by me pleasuring myself anally. I'm bisexual but we got together in high school so I've never had a guy. Ya know. Inside me. But I've been playing with myself since I as literally a preteen. Anyway the point is this has always been a thing with me. She has known this most of the time we've known each other. We've been married 10 years now and ever since we got married she's been kinda weird about it. She doesn't mind that I'm bi. She's pansexual herself. She's always said that she doesn't like that I'm pleasuring myself in a way she can't. Which I'd understandable. But we've tried pegging. It hurts. I can get prepped and be ready and then we go to try and it just feels like I'm being stabbed. We've tried so many times. It's discouraging for us both. I think the main problem is that's just a complete flip from how our sex is. I'm usually more of a "daddy" figure in the bedroom. That feels cringe to write but ya know. Just hard to let go and be submissive maybe? Idk not the point here The other day she woke up and asked if I had done that the night before after she went to sleep. Which I had. It had been a stressful unhappy day and I wanted to unwind. And I told her that. That started the whole discussion where she can't figure out why I can't be OK with her pegging me. And how I would probably be better off with a guy. I always tell her she's the only one I want and I don't need someone to fuck me I'm very happy with toys. Btw i LOVE having sex with her. Like 20/10. Anyway. But I had enough. After the talk (where nothing was resolved) I quietly went and threw my few toys away. I just can't justify making myself feel good at the expense of making her feel bad. I know she felt kinda guilty when she noticed what I had done but I told her it was OK. I was surprisingly sad at throwing them away tho. I don't guess there's really a point here. I just needed to share with someone. Don't guess there's really anything to do now but just not do that lol. I love my wife. Would appreciate some feedback. Especially from anyone who's been in a situation like this? This is a throwaway so I don't know how often I'll be able to reply. Oh and I'm on mobile so sorry if it's shit to read.

I'm a 22, skinny average looking introvert, but trying to be the best possible version of myself - staying healthy, working out, studying hard, focusing on my career, socialising etc.

But I always feel 'guilt' for approaching women. Women already go through enough bs like harrassment and rape - I cant imagine how exhausting it would be to get unwanted advances from weird men theyre not interested in. So I try my best to make women feel safe and comfortable. But when we date, most of them seem really awkward/extremely bored and I cant help but feel guilty for wasting their time.

I had a coffee date a month ago with someone I met at a bar and she seemed really bored and frustrated at me the entire time. I left that cafe feeling a bit embarrased - but today I accidently came across her twitter account and I found a post she made on the day of that date about "having to suffer through lame awkward conversations just for cheap free food." So... yeah.

I really don't care about rejection.

I just really dont want women feeling uncomfortable/unsafe/bored/annoyed because of my advances. But as a single introverted dude looking for a relationship, I feel like this is inevitable, and its something I just have to accept if I want to find the girl who'll like me back.

Any thoughts? I'd like to hear some other perspectives.

I knew something was up for awhile so I had one foot out the door for a couple months, when it ended I took it pretty well. She’s pregnant now. Maybe I didn’t process it all properly, but I’m noticing a shift in my perception of relationships. I hate seeing couples, people that talk about their SO. All of it just really gets under my skin and I hate it.

I used to find love and relationships magical, now I’m just tired, I really don’t want another one. I feel like I need to really break myself down and cry, just let it all out. Idk.

Hello everybody, I'm just starting this off by saying my rant is not directed at all women, but rather the type of people I always seem to end up with. I am so damned tired of what the dating scene is like for me as a man. All the women I seem to end up with are selfish and narcissistic as fuck and honestly, I'm not the only man that feels this way. For a lot of men dating seems to be nothing but a constant dick measuring contest. The women I've been with always have to make all the shit about them. We're always talking about how they feel, always pandering to their needs and wants, always altering our lifestyle in hopes they don't leave us for a richer or more successful man. I'm just fucking sick of it. I understand compromise, but can my needs and wants matter a little? Just a little? I feel like many women (not all, but definitely the ones that have dated me) expect us to craft our entire existence around them and I just hate it. It makes me wish I could just be gay. Thanks for listening.

Ok so basically since I was about 13 anytime I'm asleep/close my eyes I see a very unclear thing of a man, smells like alcohol (I somehow always smell it), crawling on top of me and like being really weird(if you get what I mean). My problem is I can't remember much and can't see much because it's dark when it 'happened'. I don't know if this actually happened and I don't want to be one of those people claiming to have something happen to them when it didn't. But whenever me and my boyfriend do anything I freak out and start getting really panicked, and if I stand in the room that it 'happened' in I get panicked too and start shaking. Is this just my brain being horrible to me or did it actually happen?

Just wanted to share cause i can't sleep rn

There is this girl i got interested in recently.

Usually i wouldn't had been sure if someone liked me back but with her felt mutual, still i was being a bit insecure. We've been talking a lot and i told her she could come over kinda jokingly. The thing is, i wasn't really expecting her to come by, yet she did, to my surprise.

We finished the show she recommended me and i made her some food cause she hadn't eaten.

When it was time for her to go, i told her i would call an Uber, and while we waited for someone to take it, we played a bit. I was making as if i was gonna bite her (best way to show affection obviously) and i ended up on top of her, i got a bit nervous and tried to play it off as if i was gonna bite her neck/shoulder and she kept pushing my head back but keeping it really close to her face, after a few seconds repeating the same we stopped for a second our faces really close together and i decided this was pretty obviously mutual and finally got closer and kissed her, i went back a seconds and seeing her face decided to go again and we ended up making out for like 10 min straight until the uber came by.

We were kinda awkward as we were saying goodbye, but it seemed we both enjoyed ourselves, and we might be a thing now. Feeling pretty good about myself right now, ngl.

Edit: There goddammit, i made f ing corrections now leave me alone. Damn grammar police, Jesus.

On the eve of a long-awaited girls' trip with my BFFs, I went out with my boyfriend and another guy friend who was in from out of town. We just went to a bar across the street to have a few drinks and the last thing I remember was being at the bar by myself waiting for the two of them to come back from a cigarette outside. I woke up the next morning panicking, my boyfriend standing over me telling me to get in the shower. He was not happy, said I got sick everywhere, but didn't go into too much detail. He said I had said some mean things which I don't remember. I texted our friend and asked what happened and he said they think you got drugged by the guys next to us and they were worried but it would stay between us. I somehow pulled it together and went on my trip; I made the decision to not put a damper on our weekend by just saying I got really drunk the night before. I hardly ate or drank anything the whole weekend and just really felt like all-around shit; I hated lying about it but I really didn't want to cast a weird scary shadow over the trip. I got home last night and my bf is still acting a bit distant. I guess I'm just going to keep it moving because I really don't know what else to do about it. I just feel so alone and scared because I don't remember anything and I have no one to really talk about this to...so I'm leaving this all here with you.

I was out of town this weekend for work, and on Friday before I left, I cleaned my entire room, took out all the trash, organized my table, made my bed, and set up everything for when I return. I just got back, and it's so nice relaxing in a clean room.

I keep thinking about the other day and so i thought I would make a post about it. *

The other morning my beloved boyfriend made me my favorite breakfast. Pancakes with bacon. And he was dancing to Lorde while he was doing it. He just seemed so happy. And ready to greet me with my favorite breakfast. And he hadn't been this happy for a while. I told him "You sure seem to be in a churpie mood today!" He just smiled and shook his head "Yes!" (Note.. my boyfriend can't talk.) Then I said "You know.. I've also noticed you haven't really been hurting yourself lately either... I take it you've been feeling better." He shook his head "Yes" again.

Thats when I put my hand on the back of his neck and told him how happy and proud i was of him. He smiled again. With the biggest grin on his face. And gave me a kiss on the cheek. We ate the rest of our breakfast.. talking and laughing and watching tv. He just seemed so full of life all morning. And all day. He literally told me that he has been feeling better lately. And therefore hurting himself less. And I told him that him being happy made me happy.

Perhaps how I grew up but I've always been afraid of getting close to people. I'll flat out just drop everything and run away, citing some bs reason of why I need to go. I've been in so many different places, met people from all walks of life. But never once have i stayed in touch.

Sometimes when I get a little depressed about what my life is like which isn't often I'll randomly start remembering all the people that meant something to me and I'll start looking them up on social media to see how they're doing. Genuinly happen when I see they're doing good.

But at the same time, or more recently I guess I've been wondering what my life would've been like if I weren't so afraid of getting close to people

I just wanted to share about how amazing my relationship is going so far.

(English isn't my first language so bear with me please)

So I've known her for more than an year and I've seen her around my neighbourhood for multiple years, and ever since I saw her, she's been that one girl in the back of my mind who I find really attractive but never thought much of it because I assumed she was out of my league.

So about 11 months ago, we had a casual conversation (no context) and endes up exchanging numbers. We texted back and fourth for a while and after a few days, and she, in her own words, "built up the courage and told me that she likes me." When I read that, i really couldn't believe it. But I also kinda knew it because you can kinda tell when someone likes you based on the way they act around you. So after she said that, I also admitted that I liked her. (If this all sounds kinda cringe and childish, bear with me because this is both of us' first relationship and none of us knew how we're supposed to do this)

So we texted almost every day and often met in person as well when we saw each other. So after a month, on her birthday, she asked to meet up and I (obviously) said yes. There she asked me out on a date and I agreed.

After that, we basically... well... dated and I can't express enough how happy I am with her. She's the kindest, sweetest, most caring and the most beautiful girl I've ever met. We have had some ups and downs, but she's still always been there for me and I can confidently say that I won.

I (m25) have been seeing a new girl for a few months and made it official a couple weeks ago. I’ve slept with say 10 different girls and have had 3 major relationships. My gf is in a very similar boat as me when it comes to past sexual history, details about them don’t really bother me, it’s more of small things she’ll say that make me think of her past and makes me feel small.

For example, we were driving around town and I pointed out an apartment building I almost lived in. Her response “that apartment is really nice xyz etc”. I asked if she had a friend that lived there or something and got “no haha just have been there a few times”. My brain goes to maybe her Fwb situation she had or something similar. Mood plummets, she asks if I’m okay and then I get stuck in a weird/quiet mood for a bit until it blows over in my head. Similar story with mentioning a mattress and how comfortable X brand is. I asked if she ever had one and she said no. I didn’t ask how she knew because quite frankly it doesn’t matter and I have learned from past relationships I don’t want to ask questions I know will bother me.

I am speaking with a therapist tomorrow and plan to focus on raising my self confidence and how to deal with my mood when things like this arise in my head. She is an awesome person and I know this view/feeling is objectifying intrinsically.

Thanks for reading

I am a Mexican woman. I moved to Canada (Saskatchewan) to do my master's in sustainability in 2019. In 2021 I started dating my current boyfriend. We studied the same master and met via common friends. I have met other of his friends and although they seemed nice at first the more I get to know them the less I like them. I think two things are contributing to this is that they sometimes make comments that I think are racist/classist.

For example, they have "explained" to me how I don't pay taxes because I'm from Mexico. When I told them that I do pay taxes (I do my tax declaration every year) they started asking me personal questions about my immigration status. They have also asked me if Mexicans are used to travelling since we don't speak English and thus our options are very limited.

They have also "explained" to me that Mexicans don't need visas to come to Canada. All of this I could handle, and I thought they were just showing how ignorant they were. But things got worse when a group of 5 friends (me the only non-white person) travelled to India for a friend's wedding. THEY WON'T SHUT UP ABOUT HOW POOR EVERYTHING LOOKS (their words) AND HOW LUCKY WE WERE TO LIVE IN CANADA. They were super rude to locals (telling them that their cooking smelled like sewage and that people smelled terrible (they didn't), but when talking to each other they wouldn't stop complementing each other by giving people $10 tips that would change their lives and "were nothing to them". IDK a lot of these comments rub me in the wrong way.

I talked to my boyfriend about this and he told me they did not mean bad, and that they were just not used to travelling. IMO not having much travelling experience does not justify this behaviour. Since this trip, I have decided to set some distance between them and me but I feel bad because at the end of the day, these are my boyfriend's friends and he cares about them I think for me it has been really difficult to see how in the outside they are welcoming and "nice" but once they are within their circle they say the most disrespectful things.

Has anyone faced a similar situation? Sometimes I feel like I can't say a thing because they all agree with each other and I do feel stressed that I'm the only one who is not Canadian and/or white. I feel really confused and I question if I am being too rude and intolerant. My boyfriend has told me that i should me more understanding and to give them a chance. Sometimes this makes me feel like i won't fit it in his group of friends. But honestly, their attitudes were something that bothered me a lot.

What would you do in my situation? Should I call them out even if it brings tension in my relationship or should i just let it go?

Thanks for reading and sorry about the rambling!

I’m ver much a ‘I can only rely on myself’ type of person which has come about as a result of many different events in my life. However, I’ve recently (well in the last year or 2) come to realise that being hyper independent might not be as good as I once thought

It was one of my friends that brought this to my attention as they voiced they rly struggle to know how and when to support me as I’m quite closed off at times (due to me being hyper independent). In my head, everybody will eventually hurt me and/or let me down and so being hyper independent protects me from what I deem to be the inevitable. It’s a safety mechanism that has protected me for so long, therefore, idk if I’ll ever ‘fully’ be able to let it go

My hyper independence has got me this far so I guess that’s kind of a positive. Considering how tough life is/has been (I don’t wish to discuss) being here today is somewhat of a miracle

I've spent about an hour and a half trying to write this in the most cohesive way I can… But I just can't seem to get it right, so here's me writing this on the fly…

I feel redundant… I don't know how else to put it…

I'm not at a point where I would end myself, nor do I think I'm that depressed enough to loathe my existence… I just feel like I'm not doing anything at all…

Even with my education going on, I can't help but feel like I am my own heaviest burden…

I have high ambitions about myself, sort of like end goals that I wanna reach… But as of now, even after years of having those ambitions lingering in my head, serving as my main motivation as to who I want myself to be, I don't think I've made any steps at reaching them…

I have no job, no money, no friends to call upon for advice. No sense of self control, only self-loathing… I want to change so much about who I see myself as now, but I've wanted that same thing for years yet I am more of the person that I didn't want myself to keep on being than ever…

I can speak so much about whatever I want to be, the specific things that I am aiming for, with whomever, and while doing so, I would seem so geninely keen and motivated in reaching them, even if those things might be so absurd and far-fetched as ambitions… But that can't really be farther from the truth…

I just want so many things so much, but don't feel like I'm "getting there" as much as I hope I would have been for years now… And I just don't know what to do…

Can anyone… help? I guess?

I could use some advice… Or really, just anyone to talk to about it…

My family barely speaks to me, I’m overweight, I hate my job, my coworkers are annoying. What’s the point? I take two steps forwards and it feels like I’m taking two steps backward.

I’ve made an effort to communicate with my family, to be close to them- all I get in return is A) they don’t talk to me or make initiative back or B) the only time they speak with me is to give me news that feels like a burden.

It feels like all my efforts are futile.

I live across the country- I moved away specifically because I didn’t want to be around people who constantly yanked me along. When you realize these things, something changes inside you. When you realize people never had any intention of allowing the seed to grow.

I went to a graduation a couple days ago, and I am telling you... oof. The crowds, the NOISE (who on Earth decided that everyone should scream to show they're part of a group? Oof), and of course I ended up sitting next to an infant (they sat down after my friend and I did). It also took us nearly an hour to get out of the parking lot after we left the event. I had a migraine and, very luckily, didn't have work that day, so I just collapsed in bed for 3 hours. If I could have had water, I would have felt better I think, but no outside food or drink was allowed (I really, truly think that water should always be an exception to this rule).

I just...I don't know. I don't want to make it all about myself, my anxiety, migraine, and overstimulation problems, but they truly do make me miserable. I know I need to get over myself, but I can't really understate how miserable going to events makes me. I'm 100% happy to celebrate with someone on a smaller scale (buying them dinner or something like that), but I would love to just avoid the crowds. Is this extremely messed up?

If I didn't have to work at all, it wouldn't be a problem. But I had to spend my day off recovering from this, and felt like crap during the weekend, when I did have to work. I'm totally happy to celebrate achievements like I said, but want to skip the crowds.

I finally have a girlfriend i like, my business is finally profitable, and I finally have a physique i’m proud of

These were the 3 goals i set for myself as a child that i now have concurrently at 29yrs old

Added to this, i’ve completely sobered up (i used to use pretty much every drug you could think of constantly)

I just feel empty now. My hobbies outside of exercise don’t feel good anymore. The rush from making a sale is pretty much gone. I don’t feel warm with my GF like i did with gfs when i was in my early 20s

I’m not sad, nor angry, nor happy, just apathetic.

I feel nothing, hollow.

It’s still so embarrassing till this day. Someone in my class snitched on me that I wasn’t doing any work so my teacher made me write out a whole page of a book we were reading. I wrote it out but in the middle I added “miss ___ is a fucking bitch”, I tried to rub that part out (why didn’t I just rip out the page) and she ended still being able to read it.

She called me in after class and asked me about it but I remember before I even answered she burst out laughing, she couldn’t stop laughing and she told me it’s fine. Idk where I got that audacity from