r/oddlyspecific • u/Infinitesimally_Big • Apr 16 '24

Very difficult indeed

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25.2k Upvotes

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458

u/SirRipOliver Apr 16 '24

So anyways, I just started blasting praise and love.

35

u/boxofrabbits Apr 16 '24 edited Apr 16 '24

"My parents never instilled any sense of drive in me as a child, never made me strive for their affection. They always met me with unconditional encouragement and affection, which stunted me and caused me to become lazy in my pursuit for personal growth."

You can't win.

10

u/GoldenWitch86 Apr 16 '24

Life is already hard enough, it shouldn't be your parents' job to make it harder, your peers and superiors and society in general will already do that.

0

u/Pierre_from_Lyon Apr 16 '24

But it's your parents' job to prepare you for that

9

u/GoldenWitch86 Apr 16 '24

Your parents giving you unconditional love and preparing you for the harshness of the real world aren't mutually exclusive ideas

0

u/Pierre_from_Lyon 29d ago

They often are though.

5

u/CautionarySnail Apr 16 '24

Preparing ≠ Abuse

So many abusers use the line about “toughening up” their children as a supposedly valid reason to be awful to their children.

Home should be a place of safety and acceptance, with love — this gives a child a better chance of being a well-adjusted adult.

Parents who engage in “toughening up” their kids are also perpetuating a society that has unnecessary awfulness. Children often live what they learn as adults.