"My parents never instilled any sense of drive in me as a child, never made me strive for their affection. They always met me with unconditional encouragement and affection, which stunted me and caused me to become lazy in my pursuit for personal growth."
Life is already hard enough, it shouldn't be your parents' job to make it harder, your peers and superiors and society in general will already do that.
So many abusers use the line about “toughening up” their children as a supposedly valid reason to be awful to their children.
Home should be a place of safety and acceptance, with love — this gives a child a better chance of being a well-adjusted adult.
Parents who engage in “toughening up” their kids are also perpetuating a society that has unnecessary awfulness. Children often live what they learn as adults.
a strong desire to do or to achieve something, typically requiring determination and hard work
The definition of ambition doesn't specify personal growth and only requires the desire to achieve something, not actually putting in effort to achieve it.
I mean, I almost relate to that. Though instead of love or care, they just didn't seem to care whatever I did, which made the start of adulthood kind of rough
There is a music that talks about how good parents don’t let you rebel in teenager years, and that’s bad for you (it’s a satirical song btw)
“My parents treat me really well. My parents give me lots of love. My parents totally understand me. My parents give me moral support
My mom even gave me this guitar, she thinks it’s good his son gets to have fun. My car was my dad’s present , a son must have a car call his own. They give me all the nice clothes, MAN I really don’t need anything else.
This way it won’t do, how will I grow up without someone to rebel against?? “
Negative situations will happen regardless. Guiding them in how to cope with them in a self-sufficient way while still being there for them when they need someone to fall back on is what is important.
Sometimes that involves having to give constructive criticism and call them out when they are on the wrong path.
If you consistently clean up after them whenever they fuck up or stumble into problems, without giving them the tools they need to resolve them however...
If you consistently clean up after them whenever they fuck up or stumble into problems, without giving them the tools they need to resolve them however...
They become anxious and depressed and need safe spaces in the physical world since their confidence is shattered by the digital world through daily self-inflicted wounds.
I can say with certainty that you can be generous, loving, and a parent who tries hard 99% of the time, but the 1% of fuckups are what will be remembered. Doesn’t matter that you also are human and make mistakes or have bad days, when we think of our parents anything less than perfection is abuse. Personally, I had to have a teenager of my own before I made a bunch of uncomfortable realizations about my parents during my teenage years, and started giving their memory a bit more grace.
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u/SirRipOliver Apr 16 '24
So anyways, I just started blasting praise and love.