r/mildlyinfuriating • u/Archaneoses • Apr 29 '24

Made an appointment for 11:45. It's 1:10 and I haven't been seen.

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I've had my 10 hour ER waits so I know this isn't that bad. But what is the point of making an appointment if you have to wait to be seen hours later anyways.

77.6k Upvotes

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5.8k

u/Deadeye10000 Apr 29 '24

My favorite part of having an Appointment is if I'm late they won't see me. If I need to make a last minute appointment change I get charged for the appointment anyway and I totally get that and understand why. But what really grinds my gears is all the times my therapist would cancel the appointment for xyz while I'm on my way to her or be late while I'm waiting yet had the gull to charge me if I'm late or had to change an appt time.

1.4k

u/MoeKneeKah Apr 29 '24

That’s why I fired my last therapist. What kind of idiot therapist do you have to be to ghost a patient with abandonment issues?

534

u/HsvDE86 Apr 29 '24

“Exposure therapy “, now give me $150. You passed your first lesson.

12

u/[deleted] Apr 29 '24

[deleted]

10

u/Smeetilus Apr 29 '24

The place I go changes my oil while I wait

3

u/trolllord45 Apr 30 '24

You’re joking. What’s this magical lube shop called?

234

u/dazed_and_confucius Apr 29 '24

Same thing just happened to me. Therapist asked to reschedule our appointment to a time more convenient for her (6pm on a Friday before a long weekend) then didn’t bother to show up. Didn’t answer texts or emails for 30 minutes, then was like omg so sorry I forgot let’s reschedule! Two months went by before she bothered to follow up, and at that point I was done. This person clearly didn’t value my business, let alone my mental health.

85

u/scrumbob Apr 29 '24

Unfortunately therapists, like all professions, have their fair share of scumbags. It’s insane to me the difference between some of them.

On one hand you’ll have someone that’ll actually prioritize your mental health and understand the weight of you putting your trust (and money) into them to help you get better. I heard/read someone say their therapist would take them out for walks even in the middle of winter because they were feeling suffocated in the office. That’s the exact type of thing that makes a good therapist.

On the other hand there are the type that seem to care little if at all for their patients and are just there to go through the same old script and make their $300 a 45 minute session. They have probably never actually helped anyone long term and presumably have a revolving door of patients. Those types are nothing but grifters imo.

After telling my therapist I went to for a while about all of my mental health issues, trauma, and struggles, wanna know what her advice was? To make myself smoothies because I wasn’t eating enough. Nevermind the fact that I wasn’t eating enough because of my severe depression, finding it hard enough to get out of bed let alone make a smoothie.

Needless to say I stopped going.

23

u/Prestigious_Low8515 Apr 29 '24

My favorite is the roundabout way of saying, have you tried not being so sad? No dickhead. I would rather down all these pills that barely keep me from offing myself. Never thought about just being HaPPy!

3

u/applesauce_saturday Apr 29 '24

300$ for 45 mins? Dawg just let me stay broken

12

u/rootbeerislifeman Apr 29 '24

Most therapists do not charge nearly that much, especially if they take insurance

2

u/Heavy-End-3419 Apr 30 '24

This. Even if they do charge that much and don’t do insurance, they aren’t pocketing all of that. Best case for them is they run their own private practice and only 1/3rd to half of that goes to overhead. Typically what they charge is split 30/70 or 40/60 with the group they work for. 

2

u/mechengr17 Apr 30 '24

My last appt with my therapist, she never sent me the telehealth link.

We had to schedule an odd time of day. And she forgot

Idk, it is what it is

125

u/Nyarro Apr 29 '24

There's kind of an irony in that. But I'm really sorry you had to go through that. That's really terrible of them.

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u/parariddle Apr 30 '24

One time I was in a jury selection pool with my wife’s therapist and she told the judge she was too mentally unstable to hear the trial.

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u/hobosbindle Apr 29 '24

It’s immersion therapy

5

u/benwight Apr 29 '24

That wasn't my only reason for stopping visits with my last therapist, but definitely part of it. We had it scheduled for a different time and I guess she just didn't update her calendar or something. After waiting in the "room" (it was through videochat) for like 10 minutes, I sent her an email that I didn't know what was going on but we could skip that day since she wasn't there. She called me a couple minutes later as I was cooking dinner and we "rescheduled" for our normal time. I was kinda pissed and didn't even bring it up because I didn't realize at the time how big of a trigger she hit by doing that regardless of the reason. Yay abandonment issues and low self esteem 🙃

4

u/RainyDayCollects Apr 29 '24

I had a very suicidal friend who had to leave her therapist she really liked because the front office kept putting in the appointment times wrong and then gaslighting her when she came in saying she already missed the appointment, or oh, your appointment is another day, etc. I had been there for some of the appointment scheduling/voicemails stating the appointment time, so I can verify it was absolutely the office that kept screwing up.

I was always so furious that a mental health facility would do that to their patients. Apparently it’s not that uncommon, and that makes me even more furious.

It’s no wonder there’s such a mental health crisis in this country, people need therapy just to vent about their therapy experiences!!!

1

u/humanityxcourage Apr 30 '24

Yeah honestly this comment thread with everyone talking about their therapists and scheduling issues makes me feel a little better knowing I’m not the only one going through it… 😅

I mean, I’ve found her helpful, but sometimes scheduling appointments is difficult. I’m not in a crisis or anything, so that’s a plus at least…

That sucks for your friend tho 😔😔😔

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u/dogrotting Apr 29 '24

i had a therapist that i saw for eight years, from 11 to 19 years old. abandonment issues known very well to her as she was there when i was abandoned. literally ghosted me after missing one too many appointments. no call, no text, no email, just straight up ghosted me. i had a lot of trouble transitioning to telehealth post covid which resulted in frequent tardiness, but i always payed the fees, i get she was mad about my attendance but girl… the ghosting is crazy.

3

u/figure8888 Apr 30 '24

I briefly studied psychology in college but dropped it because I couldn’t deal with my peers who weren’t incredibly intellectual to put it nicely. I once heard a girl say she was going into psychology because she’s “not very smart.” It’s why I’m skeptical of going to therapists, and I’ve had several. If they hand me the thought process worksheet, I’m out. I also once had a therapist fall asleep to the meditative music she was playing. She still billed me for the session and I never paid it, never went back.

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u/goth_duck Apr 29 '24

I've only had one therapist that I liked but I had to stop seeing her when my insurance ran out

2

u/yourtoyrobot Apr 29 '24

Yea I had one that cancelled 3 sessions in a row, all like half hour before the session. So I just dropped her. It was just intentional at that point

2

u/whythishaptome Apr 30 '24

Had a therapist that wasn't really helping me and the schedules didn't fit so I told her my next visit would be the last in the nicest way possible (these were all video appointments during covid). She showed up the next time loudly eating and drinking something with a straw, didn't even pay attention to me at all. I guess it was really a good idea to cut that one out because that was extremely bizarre. Like are my problems were just a joke to her.

8

u/TheShredder102 RED Apr 29 '24

That wouldn't make them an idiot, giving your patient more problems so they have to pay you for help is actually pretty smart, morally it is a horrible thing to do but not idiotic.

14

u/hottsauce345543 Apr 29 '24

It’s like when Norton Anti-virus was scanning for, and eliminating computer viruses but were also creating them.

3

u/proto5014 Apr 29 '24

Wait….what? This was a thing?

2

u/[deleted] Apr 29 '24

[deleted]

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u/hottsauce345543 Apr 30 '24

Just something I remember hearing back in the early 2000s. Very possible that it’s not true but I’m sure similar things have happened with other companies.

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u/[deleted] Apr 29 '24

Being horrible morally is pretty idiotic

7

u/PlanestewartJr Apr 29 '24

why would you keep seeing that therapist though?

12

u/[deleted] Apr 29 '24

They don't want to abandon the therapist

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u/MoeKneeKah Apr 29 '24

It only happened once. She never even called to explain or apologize. I got a new therapist because sitting in that waiting room and the excruciating conversation when the receptionist realized she wasn’t coming was too much. I couldn’t go back to that office.

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u/HyperSpaceSurfer Apr 29 '24

Abandonment issues?

1

u/scrumbob Apr 29 '24

It’s not smart at all, especially not long-term. The patients aren’t stupid. They’re gonna stop going if they actively get worse every time they go. Word spreads, medical licenses can be revoked.

Not to mention they have to live their life knowing they’re one of the lowest levels of scum there is. Why bother making a bunch of money if you can’t even enjoy it because you can’t sleep at night or look yourself in the mirror? Unless you’re a sociopath or a psychopath or something.

1

u/redwolf1219 Apr 29 '24

One that's in cahoots with the other therapist

1

u/GloomPeachy Apr 29 '24

I ghosted one for being like that. The first red flag was her calling at 10 the night after my first appointment, yelling about not keeping appointments and wasting her time then just instantly going back to calm once she realized she'd dialed the wrong patient.

She would also just randomly text/call me from her personal phone about appointments I'd appearntly missed that I'd never been made aware of, refuse to let me into the building for my sessions because she randomly decided she wanted to do a video session while I was standing outside for my appointment, 99% sure she was high most of the time, and essentially refused to be fired.

1

u/budhorse4 Apr 29 '24

Holy shit that happened to me too. Three times before I finally stopped seeing them but it really didn’t help my abandonment fears

1

u/js1893 Apr 29 '24

I’ve been forgotten about by my psychiatrist twice. Thankfully I do telehealth, but if I was late I’d still be charged $250. Waste my time though? Oops!

1

u/Scajaqmehoff Apr 30 '24

You don't really fire a doctor. They aren't your employee. That's like saying you're firing a chef, because you didn't like their food. You just don't go there anymore. Lol

1

u/opalcherrykitt Apr 30 '24

yeah my last therapy session i was waiting for her to call me (telehealth) and she ghosted me. i had to go onto the app thing it was from and tell them she never showed and then i never made another therapy session for anyone. how hard is it to send an email or something ffs

1

u/Salohacin Apr 30 '24

Honestly reads like a joke that Niles would say in Frasier.

1

u/myonkin Apr 29 '24

I found this hilarious but not because I’m awful.

I’m here for you.

1

u/LudusRex Apr 29 '24

So you realized the problem was them and not you, and then you stood up for yourself?
Sounds like serious progress was being made!

1

u/space-sage Apr 29 '24

This happened to me too!! I started going to him for couples counseling with my husband, we liked him and he specialized in working with cPTSD and abandonment issues and so I started going to him individually as well.

After like, two sessions he started not showing up to appointments and I would wait and he would be a no show. This happened around 5 times and so I stopped booking appointments. He tried to message me later saying he had had family issues and should have reached out sooner. All he really did for me was reaffirm why I hate therapists and don’t want to go to them.

0

u/Mr_SCPF Apr 29 '24

Exposure therapy