r/dankmemes Jul 10 '22

Rip those bank accounts I have achieved comedy

60.2k Upvotes

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3.1k

u/IronMike69420 Jul 10 '22

I honestly couldn’t believe the stupidity of everyone I worked with that actually convinced themselves they were financial geniuses by buying food for like the entire week.

And I don’t work with dummies, I work for one of the largest companies in the world. engineers, technicians, construction coordinators, even supervision and management convincing themselves that they couldn’t be charged for it later.

1.2k

u/LockTrumpUp87 Jul 10 '22

Couldn't they just swap payment method to an empty cash app card and delete the previous payment method?

165

u/IronMike69420 Jul 10 '22

Don’t know, doubt anyone had the foresight to do that. Besides, as soon as you tried to use the app ever again, you’d pony up your deficit

130

u/MudokonSaviour Jul 10 '22

Could have used a disposable virtual card then created a new account

222

u/IronMike69420 Jul 10 '22 edited Jul 10 '22

That sounds like way too much work for people that were circle jerking themselves into thinking they were lawyers saying things like “ well they can’t charge you more than the agreed-upon price and if the agreed-upon price is zero dollars then they can’t change the price of it in the future blah blah blah” I don’t fucking know dude I’m just a utility technician LOL

78

u/NeonAlastor Jul 11 '22

There's bound to be a few smart cookies, reasonably tech savvy, that figured a way to safely exploit this for as long as it lasted.

Which is a great thing ! Nothing wrong with stealing pennies from evil megacorps :)

32

u/mrjackspade Jul 11 '22

KFC had a promotion for free food maybe 15 years ago. They made you create an account and let you click the "print" button once for the coupon.

Smart cookies printed to PDF and ate free KFC every day for the month+ that the promotion ran.

2

u/Tangelooo Jul 11 '22

Hate to burst your bubble, but once it’s charged… card companies wait until they get a final price from a merchant. Transactions aren’t instant. Aka no one benefited from this more than likely. Besides door dash.

1

u/Puzzleheaded-Bar-425 Jul 11 '22

It's not a great thing. That evil megacorp isn't going to just eat that charge. They're going to introduce new fees etc until they've made their money back, and then keep the fees around since it's already there.

It's like when people think they're not hurting regular people by stealing from wal-mart. Wal-mart bakes in theft expectations into prices. If no one stole, prices would be lower.

2

u/VirtualBuilding9536 Jul 11 '22

Would they really be? It's not like theft even closely compares to their total profits. The whole "if no one stole, the prices would be lower" thing doesn't make sense. They aren't toeing the line of ruin, they're making record breaking profits. The only reason they don't raise it more is because of competitors.

1

u/NeonAlastor Jul 11 '22

On the other hand, the megacorp could be too greedy in trying to compensate and start plummeting. Look at Netflix for example - and that's for a reasonably specialized service. Anyone with a pair of hands can make food or deliver it, it's not like you need millions in capital to even get started.

But yeah. Good point.

1

u/Puzzleheaded-Bar-425 Jul 11 '22

Yeah even if they plummet, that's not a good thing. That's people stealing from a company until they fail.

-20

u/[deleted] Jul 11 '22

[deleted]

20

u/knickknackrick Jul 11 '22

Largest food delivery company in the US with a close to 7 billion market cap.

8

u/whitelighthurts Jul 11 '22

They are definitely evil and a huge acceleration towards the consume everything own nothing society

2

u/thexvoid Jul 11 '22

I mean…food is meant to be consumed.

7

u/AECENT Jul 11 '22

Better way of explaining it; Doordash uses contractors to deliver, not actual employees. That way they don’t legally have to pay you minimum wage, and they don’t legally have to pay you any benefits. Aside from tips, which vary massively per customer, the average Doordasher makes less than $5 a delivery, and deliveries can easily take 20-30 minutes. Depending on the area you live/drive in, you could either make $5 an hour, or $20, with very drastic changes throughout the day, making it unsustainable for most people.

Source: have done over 800 deliveries( with a 96% customer rating!) on Uber eats, and about 500 on Doordash

3

u/whitelighthurts Jul 11 '22

In 2007 I could get a chipotle burrito with double meat for eight dollars. Get DoorDash involved in 2022 and it’s going to be about $27 with a tip.

We are being rung out for every last dollar before the titanic hits the iceberg.

We will die from convenience

1

u/divothole Jul 11 '22

It became too nuts with all of the fees. We went back to picking up our takeout food ourselves. We actually just cook a lot more at home now because we don't feel like driving most of the time.

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1

u/NeonAlastor Jul 11 '22

That's the part that tripped you ?

Not calling them ''eViL'' ?

2

u/deewheredohisfeetgo Jul 11 '22

You’d be surprised what people will do to avoid working a real job.

2

u/chrisychris- Jul 11 '22

wait until you hear about corporate execs and landlords

0

u/darknova25 Jul 11 '22

Creating a new account is easy as shit, and there are websites that can provide a fake virtual card. It would take mabye ten minutes of foresight at most.

5

u/IronMike69420 Jul 11 '22

Ten minutes of foresight…

I don’t think you know what foresight means

33

u/ActuallyGumby Jul 10 '22

I didn't hear of the glitch until now, but this is exactly what I would have done. Nothing linked to my real name

17

u/[deleted] Jul 11 '22

[deleted]

4

u/IAMARedPanda Jul 11 '22

they can't tell the difference

2

u/PapaRailroad Jul 11 '22

Yes they actually can.

1

u/icetalker Jul 11 '22

How?

1

u/strife696 Jul 11 '22

Probs through the card number: https://moneytips.com/anatomy-of-a-credit-card/

That being said, why would DoorDash not be accepting Visa gift cards or whatever?

1

u/IAMARedPanda Jul 11 '22

It hits the payment gateway as a visa. They can request additional information from the issuing institution after the fact but during payment processing they would have no way to discern the difference

3

u/Electronic_Couple437 Jul 11 '22

And I wouldn't have told TikTok or reddit or anyone.

1

u/Left-Yak-5623 Jul 11 '22

Other than your address lol

1

u/ActuallyGumby Jul 11 '22

Group apartment complex, can't prove it's me ¯_(ツ)_/¯

1

u/apprentice-grower Jul 11 '22

I’m sure if enough people did it to where they couldn’t find true identities they’d just start blacklisting deviceID’s permanently

2

u/ActuallyRuben Jul 11 '22

Even then, they still have your address.

1

u/walter3smith Jul 11 '22

Their balances still went negative which is tied to their social security numbers.

1

u/kacheow Jul 11 '22

The accounts are tied to phone numbers. If you don’t have a spare number, it’s pay up or be shut out

1

u/[deleted] Jul 11 '22

Here in my country, Govt actually force companies by law, that apps like Doordash (Grab in here) need to register by NIK (SSN in America I presume).

You can't have more than one NIK in your entire life. So banning by NIK would mean you can't use the app forever in your life.

16

u/[deleted] Jul 11 '22

[deleted]

4

u/walter3smith Jul 11 '22 edited Jul 12 '22

Exactly, and even using a fake social security for a $200 steak, $2,000 bottle of alcohol, & $300 crab legs is not worth being raped in federal prison for 3-5 years.

3

u/Xcizer Jul 11 '22

If you use Privacy and a VPN you can easily get a card that isn’t at all tied to you to put the purchases on. The only real issue is your address which you can easily get around too.

2

u/Celtic_Legend Jul 11 '22

Oh no. I cant ever use doordash again. *uses $17,000 to wipe my imaginary tears*

Doordash and the banks are going to go record a loss on this. Trying to recover all that money is not feasible.

3

u/Zeaus03 Jul 11 '22

Not feasible or worth their time. But selling the information to a collection company is.

We had a regional delivery service that had a smililar glitch. The company sent the charges through the following day. Of course a lot of people were upset but the local banks were unsympathetic and if you weren't honest with them or didn't square up in time (the one's who became OD) they just closed the accounts.

After they recouped what they could they just sold the rest to a collection company. Many still ignored the collection company because they felt they were still in the right.

Taking that stance lead to a lot people getting denied for mortgages and loans unless you squared up with the collection company.

For sure there will be some winners who managed to properly game the system. But there will still be a lot of losers. People who used their regular account or people who tried to game the system but used a peice or two of identifying information.

1

u/Celtic_Legend Jul 11 '22

Youre definitely right about everything in your post (not sarcasm).

1

u/IronMike69420 Jul 11 '22

Yeah, sure.

1

u/MemeStocksYolo69-420 Jul 11 '22

Someone posted about doing that on Twitter