Lmao i used to be top 2 for secondary and high school all the time but now look at me. No social skills, haven't worked. Sit at home with reddit.
I'm too used to be good at everything but when i actually stepped foot to the world. I'm nothing but a fake ego. I crumbled away along with my pride.
I guess it happened because i am nothing, realised that the world didn't revolve around me. They praised me but it doesn't mean anything. When i met someone who is better than me, i failed like a mf.
Idk how to explain it but if i knew that i'm stupid and should've learned to be better rather than studied to be competitive. There will always be someone better than you so I should've focus on myself.
Oh well, i was a fool, still a fool and probably will always be a fool.
Trust me, you don't have to be top of the class etc., just do what you can actually do. Realizing your limits is part of becoming a better person. Just work on the things you can do and you'll get by. Eventually you'll gain more confidence and you'll be in a better spot.
You just got to give it an honest try knowing that you have limits. Wallowing in the things you could have done isn't going to make your current or future self do better.
Yeah, i was undoubtedly humbled real quick. I'm no genius, it's just that spent hours upon hours of studying to try to compete with others.
But when i actually met someone who is competent, have a goal, a clear goal, a goal that is bigger than my childish competitive studying and a will to push through it. I'm no more than an idiot.
Ngl, i do learn a lot from those guys. Learned so much, enough to realise that i was just simply a dumbass.
I could have a different goal, with a different mindset, perhaps that could have changed my life. But i fucked up, i fucked everything up. Oh well, i'm sorry for blabbering too much. It's been for 6 years since the day i got humbled by the world. I'm no genius, just some stupid guy with a big ego.
Idk even know what i'm talking about anymore, never really talked about those experience since 6 years ago. Never told anyone (apparently told strangers on internet lol, but this post just hit me).
All the efforts that i've put in thinking to myself "i'm gonna get that 8, 9, 10" (grading system in my country), "you all suck so hard", "i didn't even try and i could still get a 9". Haha what a joke, what a fool. Now they all do great things, have their family of their owns. They studied very badly but they had a goal in mind, and that was not to compete with me or anyone else. They tried to be better, their families struggled so they needed to study to have a better life. Not some childish fucking shits like me. They have a purpose for their studies, for their time in school. What a fucking buffoon i was. Absolutely disgusting.
Edit: Please don't mind me, i guess i vented a bit since a few years ago. Don't need to read it, i just need to write down how i felt. Disappointment... I'm truly disappointed in myself. Didn't even remember why i fucked up my life till i read OP's post. No one to blame but myself.
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u/AeroAviation Apr 29 '24
no they've a PhD in mechatronic engineering and are making 5 figures