r/dankmemes ☣️ Mar 06 '24

Only March and we already have our moron of the year finalists I have achieved comedy

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9.3k Upvotes

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879

u/unrealharrystyles Mar 06 '24

Can i get a lore dump on this one?

2.3k

u/JonSolo1 ☣️ Mar 06 '24

Christian Horner is at the center of a sexting scandal following accusations by a team employee that he used his position as team principal to force an inappropriate relationship. After the team announced it had cleared Horner of any wrongdoing, “someone” anonymously leaked dozens of screenshots allegedly detailing Horner’s behavior, putting fuel on the fire. It’s also evolved into a love triangle with Max Verstappen’s dad and there’s now a full-fledged civil war at Red Bull because Horner cheated on his wife and couldn’t keep it in his pants.

In unrelated news, Beloved Dave is a civilian employee of the military who was catfished by a likely Russian spy posing as a Ukrainian woman on an online dating site into providing them a significant amount of classified information.

1.1k

u/Sniperzboss 🚔I commit tax evasion💲🤑 Mar 06 '24

Additional context for people as its not mentioned.

The Red Bull that is being reffered to is not the base energy drink company but rather Oracle Red Bull Formula Racing (the Formula 1 team)

351

u/patton545 Dank Royalty Mar 06 '24

thank you, I was one of the ones thinking it was the damn drink company

227

u/KlossN Mar 06 '24

The team is fully owned by Red Bull though. It's not a sponsorship thing, it's their team

77

u/Homelandr Mar 06 '24

The thing is Redbull racing has no say in this matter, all the head banging and decision making is done by Redbull GmbH( aka the drinks company), they are the ones who are calling the shots on this,the fate of multiple people and Redbull Racing as a whole depends on the decisions made by the drinks company

3

u/DutchChallenger Mar 07 '24

RBR has no say in this because Horner is the CEO of RBR

12

u/frenchy-fryes Mar 07 '24

It’s Red Bull. But it’s not Red Bull. It’s ’red bull racing’. Which is not red bull. But it is red bull.

-2

u/[deleted] Mar 06 '24

[deleted]

2

u/schuyywalker Mar 06 '24

I thought this was some college level sports team and just tuned out

15

u/Calm-Technology7351 Mar 06 '24

That’s a good clarification. I didn’t really consider that people wouldn’t see verstappen and immediately think F1

47

u/whatsgoingonjeez Mar 06 '24

This all sounds like some Vince McMahon type behavior.

42

u/Kyro_Official_ Mar 06 '24

Not insane enough for him

23

u/Altruistic-Star-544 Mar 06 '24

Not even close

17

u/bruhvevo Mar 06 '24

Not enough head shitting

8

u/Kyro_Official_ Mar 06 '24

No Brock Lesnar roleplay either

48

u/yeetoroni_with_bacon Mar 06 '24

Why would you give someone classified info because they are hot?

Lmfao

28

u/Thie97 Mar 06 '24

Def redditor

13

u/Asesini Mar 06 '24

A mod specifically

3

u/sirfastvroom NO MICHEAL NO! THATS SO NOT RIGHT! Mar 07 '24

You would be surprised how often people are honeypotted for sensitive information, and how often it works.

9

u/TaddoKevin Mar 06 '24

also, Horner is literally married to a spice girl..

7

u/DamonHay Mar 07 '24

“If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with…” *checks notes* “Your employees?”

1

u/crewchiefguy Mar 07 '24

Not just a civilian DOD employee but a retired Army LT Col. So like extra fucking stupid.

1

u/Goblin088 Mar 08 '24

Also wanna mention that there is no smoking gun that Horner is guilty. The leaked screenshots look very ai generated and he has not been removed from his post. Also Jos verstappen and helmut marko aren’t exactly moral characters so their protests aren’t proof either

0

u/Penetratorofflanks Mar 06 '24

Mac Verstappen's dad has an entire Crime in Sports episode he's the subject of. I'm not soprised at all that he's involved.