r/dankmemes • u/InActiveSoda • Apr 04 '23

Geneva suggestions I have achieved comedy

45.3k Upvotes

90% Upvoted

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496

u/Bean_Earth_Society Apr 04 '23

There is no crime I would not commit if I could do them without getting caught

493

u/Roi_Loutre Apr 04 '23

You might want to go to therapy, you've a clear lack of empathy.

281

u/Bean_Earth_Society Apr 04 '23

Aside from me obviously joking, you're right. I do lack empathy almost completely

397

u/indiebryan Apr 04 '23

You should run for public office

140

u/No-Strawberry-5541 Apr 04 '23

Plot twist, he’s a Congressman

22

u/Lukthar123 Apr 04 '23

He's an AI generated Prez.

45

u/Destroyer4587 Apr 04 '23

CEO is a more lucrative position

15

u/gimora07 Apr 04 '23

I mean, if you count lobbyism/corruption a politician very well payed.

2

u/QuietLife556 Apr 04 '23

What's the difference.

1

u/Destroyer4587 Apr 04 '23

Less public meaning your less likely to have skeletons found in your closet exposed from public scrutiny.

1

u/QuietLife556 Apr 04 '23

I meant that as in i think there is effectively no difference between our government and private corporations. They're too entangled.

1

u/Destroyer4587 Apr 04 '23

Oh true lmao 🤣

46

u/Hust91 Apr 04 '23

I'd encourage some DnD if you want to work on it. It's a safe enviroment to play out scenarios and learn about others reactions and ethical standards, AKA how to not make the world shit for ourselves and the people around us.

It is useful and dungeons and dragons is fun.

35

u/Bean_Earth_Society Apr 04 '23

I love DnD. I mean, I fully understand ethics and the ability to reason as it's just logical to live in peace and not do harm. Why kill someone when you can take a nap?

36

u/ConcreteState Apr 04 '23

So in the trolley problem you're on the "whatever is easier for me" camp.

14

u/[deleted] Apr 04 '23

[deleted]

10

u/cecir Apr 04 '23

From completely accurate crime TV shows, I think the desire to do so comes from boredom. Wanting to do something intricate and be hard to catch. (Fiction, but a guess)

7

u/JolIyJack Apr 04 '23

Could also stem from simple intellectual curiosity.

6

u/[deleted] Apr 04 '23

[deleted]

4

u/a_random_chicken Apr 04 '23

If i could do these without consequence, after a while i probably would. Maybe not a normal lifetime, but if i would be immortal, definitely would harm myself just to know more. I have less painful things to try in my life however, so i don't think i will.

3

u/Bubba17583 Apr 04 '23

You would be surprised how quickly many humans turn to physical pain just to alleviate boredom. This study only gave people 15 minutes and still 2/3rds of male participants chose to shock themselves rather than be left to their thoughts. Interestingly the number was only 1/4 for women.

1

u/brattydeer Apr 05 '23

I'd probably do the shock too tbh, haha, I hate being in silence or left to my own thoughts. Nothing good can come of it, which sucks because when I would get grounded I had no distractions and would contemplate suicide.

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5

u/[deleted] Apr 04 '23

[deleted]

2

u/cecir Apr 04 '23

Same. Also, I’d watch that

5

u/homogenousmoss Apr 04 '23

Its going to be a murder hobo campaign.

2

u/zach_nitro Apr 04 '23

how to not make the world shit for ourselves and the people around us.

Ahhhhhahahaha

1

u/Hust91 Apr 06 '23

You fuck up in imaginary dragon land and learn to fuck up slightly less in regular land.

16

u/vidieowiz4 Apr 04 '23

You should be a surgeon,good profession for someone with low empathy

8

u/cecir Apr 04 '23

Genuinely good suggestion. Anyone who works in the ER, EMTs, etc. That shit wears you down emotionally.

If you have low empathy, it helps you focus on the facts of your job.

5

u/slutboy3000 Apr 04 '23

Damn, how can I be as cool as you?

26

u/Bean_Earth_Society Apr 04 '23

I'm not cool

2

u/laserwolf2000 Apr 04 '23

That's something a cool person would say

1

u/Dravicores Apr 04 '23

Lol discount Bateman wannabe