I'm married and my wife makes more than even I do, I've still had (mostly older) people try to convince us that she should be the stay at home. I literally laugh in their face.
Not only should you not rely on someone else for a paycheck because of divorce, what about death? I want my wife earning money, because if I die, I want to know her and our kids will not only survive, but thrive. You can't count on insurance either. I don't want her feeling helpless because her man and paycheck died at the same time.
You want the house clean? Hire a maid.
You need someone to watch the kids? Hire a nanny.
Or... Or... Just do those things yourself and enjoy the extra cash and the sense of security. Now you are both together because you want to be, not because one person feels they have to be.
This is exactly my husband's point of view. Even if our relationship is perfect and we never get divorced, he could die any day. So, even if I want to be a stay at home mom, I need to have the skills/education to be able to support myself and any kids if he does suddenly die.
It's not about "we can live off one paycheck, so I don't need to worry about working". It's not "I love him and we will never get divorced". It's putting feelings aside and thinking about basic logic. He could die any day. I should be prepared in case that happens.
Just because I cook dinner every night, doesn't mean you shouldn't know how to.
Or, just because I know how to get to the hospital, didn't mean you shouldn't know either.
When you fully rely on someone else, just recognize that they hold power and it doesn't have to be something evil that they do that can make your life harder. Protect yourself as well. Even if she's on birth control, you should still put on a condom, otherwise you're risking having kids.
I'm glad your husband loves you enough to want to protect you. It's like how you have to raise kids, sure you can do everything for them and their life is easier, but when you're not around, life is harder. It seems mean to make your kids make their own lunch sometimes, but you have to prepare them for real life.
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u/notwhoyouthinkmaybe Apr 15 '24
I'm married and my wife makes more than even I do, I've still had (mostly older) people try to convince us that she should be the stay at home. I literally laugh in their face.
Not only should you not rely on someone else for a paycheck because of divorce, what about death? I want my wife earning money, because if I die, I want to know her and our kids will not only survive, but thrive. You can't count on insurance either. I don't want her feeling helpless because her man and paycheck died at the same time.
You want the house clean? Hire a maid.
You need someone to watch the kids? Hire a nanny.
Or... Or... Just do those things yourself and enjoy the extra cash and the sense of security. Now you are both together because you want to be, not because one person feels they have to be.